my wife to be told me she had a foursome,she told me how many men she slept with to she never used protection ever,i cant help every time i look at her what a **** she is,i love her so much and i feel hurt,a foursome its pretty sick,first time im unhappy in my life,dont think i can be with her anymore am i being childish?????????
2006-09-16 02:29:01 · 47 answers · asked by jonas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you can't get over it, do both of you a favor and break off the engagement. You don't want to live in resentment the rest of your life, do you? And I'm sure she doesn't want that negative energy for the rest of hers, either.
2006-09-16 02:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by T Time 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would say it's irrelevant if it's childish or not. It's the way you feel and don't see how you could get past it and marry her anytime soon! Why did she chose to tell you this now? Seems almost as if she's trying to warn you off. Then again,if she loves you,maybe she wanted to start with a clean slate. If you believe she's been faithful to you,and will always be and you love her,then maybe you should just postpone the wedding,maybe think about counselling and see if you can find a way to get over it. She's still the woman you love and want to marry and nothing has changed that;it was just meaningless sex...and just think-you won't have a dull,boring sex life in years to come as she's obviously happy to experiment.
Good luck..can't be easy. At the end of the day nobody can tell you what to do.
2006-09-16 02:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by pinkandloopy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!!! i don't want to pass any judgement but she is either a hoe or she is lacking something in the relationship with you. not that it's your fault. hopefully she didn't show you some sign that something was wrong and you ignored it thinking she was nagging . but if she didn't come to you as a woman and showed you she was not happy that was wrong. maybe you should go to see a councillor. if you just get up and leave right now without knowing why. it will only make you feel worst. but if you guys sit and talk or even sit with someone else and talk about it. it will ease the pain a little before you pack your bags. Make sure you go to the doc. she may have gave you something she is obviously a freak and you are not freaky enough for her. she is living dangerously. it is your decision if you want to go. if you stay it will never be the same you will always picture her with those "four people" and the next time it may be a room full of people she decides to take on. you are not childish. but don't be stupid. good luck
2006-09-16 02:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this happened before you met, I would say that you have a lot of growing up to do. People's history is not important, it's how they are now.
A foursome between consenting adults is not sick. Consent and age are the real social taboos.
What happened has helped to make her the person that you love now. Don't forget that. You should also be happy that she feels comfortable to talk to you about this.
However, if these acts happened during your relationship, get rid.
2006-09-16 03:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by Rich N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was wondering ,if this was a wind up question. after reading your others , i have decided that it probably is.
if your "wife to be",generally called a fiancee`,had a 4some with ladies,it probably would not grosse you out, as it would be most men's fantasy. what is wrong with her having lived her fantasy out. also it is childish , because she did not lay there thinking, "mmm,in a few years time , I will meet my "husband to be", who will be sick at tteh thought of this". surely as a grown man, you know to leave your partners past , as such. your only concerns should be , whether she has some disease, and that is quite easily clarified by a test., and whether she still does it,if it is not something you are into.
i Can't believe how many people actually felt sorry for you.
2006-09-19 20:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by saywot? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch!! This is a tough one, but in the end you need to follow your heart, if you can't overcome the situation then no you shouldn't be with her anymore.
On the otherhand, people do make mistakes in life and are capable of change. I would however have her take an AIDS test to make sure that she didn't come in contact with it being with several men.
Life is really short, if this person makes you happy than forgive her, it was in the past, before you. If you do forgive her and move on then don't bring it up ever again. Let it go. It would be unfair to her, you, and the relationship if you decided to forgive and then continued to bring it up.
Good Luck!
2006-09-16 02:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I detect a note of jealousy! It's not childish, just selfish in a grownup sort of way.
If everyone was a consenting adult, then where's the crime? Is she more of a **** if the lights were on at the time? Less of a **** if it was dark in the room? More of a **** if there were three men than if there were two, or just one? How about if they were four women together, is that ****ty or is that hot in your humble opinion? Are you completely innocent of ever having fantasies about being in that very situation yourself?
Sorry to be so hard on you, but I strongly suggest you get your morality ducks in a row before you have a go at her for this one.
2006-09-16 10:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by ladylisaoflansing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard to answer this one. Foursome is something that is against the Christian principles as you probably know. I don't know if she lied to you before you guys married. If so, it is not wrong you leave her or sometimes, leaving is not the answer. Maybe the love you feel for her can transform her. You know, true and unconditional love really performs miracles. Why don't you go and talk to someone who is really able to give you a piece of good advice? We can only guess, but a person who would be there for you,. for real, is the best choice. BUT...above all, ask your heart and have an open talk with your wife. I don't know if you have children or not. They are innocent people who should not suffer with a divorce, unless last case. Good luck!
2006-09-16 02:34:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you are being childish but at the same time your wife is stupid. There is such a thing as TMI and she should have used some discrestion. Now if you brought the topic up and she was answering your questions honestly then its your fault you know these things now not hers. Dont' ever ask a question you dont' want the answer too.
2006-09-16 02:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anjanette A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you married to each other at the time? Was it 2 guys & 2 girls - or 3 guys & your wife? Was she drinking heavily?
If you really can’t get over it then you’ll have to do something about ending the marriage but give it time & don’t act to soon. You might ask yourself: if you had the opportunity to have a 4 some might you do it? Be honest w/yourself.
Good Luck.
2006-09-16 02:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by Scalawag-101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is being honest with you cause you guys are about to get married and she wants to "come clean". If you can't get over this, then you probably never will. Just move on with your life, but you also have to look at it this way. Her past is what made her the person she is today. And you loved her very much before you found this out, so why let it bother you now.You can't hold her past against her.
2006-09-16 02:36:53 · answer #11 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋