I have a friend who has hurt a lot of my close friends because of me. she has used them to get what she wants but in vain because now everybody knows about her. they are not ready to forgive her and forget what she has done. many relations were broken because of it. but to prevent more ties from breaking i am forced to forgive her and forget. and it's hard because she doesn't seem to care that others have been hurt deeply because of her. what should i do?
2006-09-16 01:19:36 · 24 answers · asked by fed up 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
drop her as a friend, she's bad news.
2006-09-16 01:21:11 · answer #1 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok first, when you say this girl has hurt your close friends because of you, what do you mean?
this girl sounds like a nasty piece of work however, ask yourself a few questions... 1) why do you feel you are forced to forgive her? and 2) why does she seem so oblivious to the fact that she is hurting so many people?.
no matter how many answers you get, the decision all comes down to you. personally i would walk away, she doesn't sound like she is worth you time or effort. if you decide you need to forgive her, sit her down and figure out why she doesn't seem to care. otherwise tell her your not interested in being made a scape-goat and are not willing to let yourself or your friends get hurt anymore. in the end losing one not so great friend in exchange for your close good friends is not a very hard choice to make.
good luck!
2006-09-16 09:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two meanings to the word forgive. The first is in the Christian sense, I forgive you and so now things can be back the way they were before.
I prefer the second, it means I forgive you, because I accept thats the way you are and don't expect any better from you, I don;t bear a grudge but you won't fool me twice.
If you are forced to socialise with her you can be polite as you would to a stranger, but never trust her again. She's a nasty piece of work and bad news.
2006-09-16 08:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by sarah c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is what you are telling really then she is not at all a 'FRIEND' to you. Any friendship that depends on the utility is a mere waste. Choose the friends who can help you to grow personality wise. From whom you can learn something good in life. If you are too used to her you will take some time to recover. But God will help you to come out of this. Cheer up. Hope you get someother better person in life.
2006-09-16 08:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ginnypid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is a test isn't it ????, two wrongs don't make right, and if your given the opportunity in life to do the right thing do it, forgive. Its a long path we all have to go through , but the right one is love and forgiveness, I know it may seem a load of b****ks, but by choosing the light and not dark YOU WILL become a better equiped person later I PROMISE :)
2006-09-16 09:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by david g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to her in a "nice" way that you do not wish to remain friends with her and I would definitely tell her WHY.
If her actions hurt others and she didn't know, then she should be made aware of her actions and their affects on others.
If she did know, then she needs to understand the personal consequences her meanness will have for herself - loss of trust, loss of friends, etc.
If she doesn't care what her actions do to others, then don't even glance over your shoulder as you leave, unless you are checking to be sure that she isn't stabbing you in the back.
Good Luck.
2006-09-16 08:25:23 · answer #6 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To forgive someone is very hard but once you've done it you will feel so much better. However she doesn't seem to deserve it - she doesn't realise what she's done - therefore she hasn't asked for your forgiveness. You need to make her understand & be sorry. Good Luck x
2006-09-16 08:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is for the person who forgives, not for the person who is forgiven. You can even forgive in your heart without ever "confronting" the other person. You can even forgive people who are no longer here. Just let go of the hurt and move on. Make your hand into a fist, then slowly open your fingers and let the Bad fly away.
2006-09-16 08:22:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ever Learn 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her and tell her exactly how u feel and tell her that you love her but cannot have her as part of your life fr all the reasons listed, forgive her and forget and move on.
2006-09-16 08:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her... but even though she doesn't seem to care that others have been hurt she is probably seeking attention and that one person that loves her in spite of herself. Sit down and talk to her about just that. You will have a friend for life.
2006-09-16 08:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by toyloy27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless she is prepared to accept that her behaviour was wrong, walk away.
If you allow her to get away with it she will do it again and again.
I had a friend from the age of 5 who was like this, finally 25 years later I stopped speaking to her and my life became so much easier, I don't have to dread the phone ringing anymore, it was always either her with a new crises or someone else to complain about what she had done now.
If someone makes your life that difficult they aren't really your friend!!
2006-09-16 08:23:16 · answer #11 · answered by libbyft 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋