i cant feel comfortable because my childhood wasnt good how can i feel good?

Question

i was born and bought up in a atmosphere where there was spanking everywhere even in school i never really got spanked but i seen parents and teachers spanking the heck out of kids well that leaved a mark on my mind forever even im a grown up boy now i still want to hurt those parents and teachers who spanked those lil kids and wanna take revenge..my mind is always thinking about things like a non-spanking world where a kid can freely enjoy his childhood without no pain i wanna live my childhood in which my parent would love me and things like that i cant even sleep in night because of anger cant concentrate on my studies i really dont talk about it with my family cause i know they wont understand once i talked they give me anti depressent medicines which done side effects on me...do you have any idea to control those stupid thinking which keep poping up in my mind and feel good??

spanking parents please dont ansewer my question

Answer 1

I also have bad childhood experience like you, but only in a different way. Nevertheless it still leave a big impact on me. I can teach you how to feel good.
Please do not continue to worry whether your parents will love you or not because the 1 person who should love you deeper than anyone else is yourself. Start to feel good about yourself. Identify what are the talents that you have and feel proud of. Improve them. Improve yourself. Stay strong. Never let others get you. When you grow older, you will realize that everyone is for himself. No one will care for you more than you care for yourself. So be good to yourself. Just be proud of yourself. Don't concern yourself with what others think about you. They are no better.

Answer 2

YOU can only make your future (and I am assuming you are now a teen) what you want it to be -- and this is NOT something that affected you and your family.

SO WHAT if you saw it -- you did not live through REAL Violence -- and I mean REAL Violence from an Abusive Ex-Spouse, who after the divorce took the children without supervision (and was ordered to) then BEATS them viciously.

DO YOU THINK Life is easy? Or Non-Violent? Or that there are NO Abusers? The answer is NO!

The problem comes in with the different parenting styles and discipline of the child when they are not respecting the parental or school rules. A question you need to think about is this:

How would YOU determine what is an appropriate punishment when a Child (teen) runs off without telling you, damages/destroys property (personal as well as school, buildings, or home or cars), disappears without telling you where they are going (with whom, and when they will return), BEATS/Assaults/Batters/Viciously WHIPS the Parent with their Belt because they "want the * parent Dead", give the parent wounds that will never heal, etc etc etc?

YOU have no right to anger at this time. Sounds like typical Teen Angst. YOU control your thinking by NOT allowing the anger to surface and NOT allowing you to get robbed of sleep -- NO ONE can control you like that -- ONLY YOU can make the CHOICE to be HAPPY and NOT angry or sad or depressed.

Answer 3

I would suggest that there is something else to your anger. Basically everyone has been brought up in an atmosphere of "spanking" as you say. Particularly those of us who are Gen-X or earlier generations (because our parents were "baby boomers" and spanking was most definitely the norm).

It's unlikely that this is causing you so much distress and anger. It is obvious from your post that you ARE angry. But I think you have chosen this "safe" problem to blame for your anger, when in reality your anger is from some other trauma you experienced in your childhood.

Sounds like you should be talking with a professional counselor.

Answer 4

I'm not a parent but I was brought up with smacking as a form of punishment and providing it is done in a controlled manner, and not as a way to release stress, I have no arguments against smacking. Also, I can't really remember being smacked either. not the exact incidences, i mean. Even though it kept me in line, and fairly well disciplined, for a teenage boy, it certainly came even close to ruining my childhood.

Answer 5

The remedy which has assisted me recover much from childhood issues is two fold, gratitude and forgiveness. I needed to daily remember the things I am grateful for and that occurred in my life and then forgive those who hurt me. It is a long process and often is slow to start, it may be amplified by servig others, especially those who wronged us, or those who are in the same class as those who wronged us, this service asssists us in developing love towards others and lightens the tremendous burden you are carrying- I really relate and feel for you, I know you can do it!

Answer 6

What you are going through is not stupid, and you are important enough to get help coming to terms with these feelings that are having a negative impact on you.

Maybe you need to talk to a trained counsellor who will be able to help you put these bad feelings into context and so cause you less anxiety about them. I had positive cognitive therapy, which helped me enormously. The medications my doctor prescribed (antidepressents) were hard to come off and did not help at all - they just knocked me out, so avoid them.

Answer 7

Put the Inner Child to Bed. ...Don't keep worrying about a past that doesn't exist now, or a future that may be completely different, Be Here Now. The present is all we have, make the most of it.

Answer 8

I think your best bet is to speak to a professional. This has obviously plagued you for years so it will take time to get you past all of it. I am not saying medicine is the answer .. You need to talk to a therapist about this issue.

Answer 9

Yeah, Yeah, Any excuse for your deviant behavior. Change your behavior. Oh, but I forgot.... you are stuck in a good excuse. When you got enough mileage out of it and you can not find another... then change. But perhaps you will by then remember someone who laughed at your little willy.... now from that one you will get a lot of mileage

Answer 10

get some counseling to deal with your unresolved anger- otherwise the medication your are taking will not help and it will eat you up inside until it consumes you completely. please talk to a professional.