I have been dating a guy for a few years who has characteristics that are most common in women and he has tried a couple of times to have anal sex with me. I am wondering if he is gay or if he is just curious. I have asked him before if he thought he was gay and he became angry with me and said no, of course not.
2006-09-15 23:58:26 · 20 answers · asked by Challenge 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is obvious that asking a man if he is gay or not will make him angry. At least I think most men will get angry or irritated with such a question.
Wanting to have anal sex with a woman doesn't prove the guy in question is gay. Now, if he only wants that kind of sex and you don't agree with it, for whatever reasons you have, then it's clear there is a couple's problem here. This is something you have to talk about between yourselves.
If your boyfriend is effeminate, there could be reason for a suspicion. I said "suspicion", but not "assertion". If your suspicion becomes an obsession, I think it would be better for you to stop dating this guy, even if you love him all right. This obsession could make your relationship go sour.
Perhaps the guy is not gay, but bi-sexual. I know that this is an option that very few women are ready to accept or tolerate in a man. A bi-sexual woman is a lot more natural, if I may say so.
All in all, if you are not comfortable with your boyfriend's ways and if it is hard for you to live on with a suspicion, you'd be better to quit this relationship.
Find someone you can trust in, in terms of a balanced masculinity (not a lack or an excess thereof), but at the same time be aware that a man's masculinity is a very complex issue, even more complex than any woman's. Read about it and talk with your male friends, if you have them. Have a look at this site: www.narth.com
Good luck for you.
2006-09-16 00:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by JC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RE:
How can I tell if my boyfriend is gay?
I have been dating a guy for a few years who has characteristics that are most common in women and he has tried a couple of times to have anal sex with me. I am wondering if he is gay or if he is just curious. I have asked him before if he thought he was gay and he became angry with me and said...
2015-08-04 05:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by Julie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning whether you want to continue to be in a relationship with this guy, it's time to be honest and say so, rather than trying to trap him into admitting that he's gay (if that doesn't work, maybe he's a communist, or jewish, or republican or something). No, don't put it on him, it's on you. You want out, say so, and get out.
2006-09-16 01:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by michael941260 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wanting to have anal sex with a woman does not make him gay
without specifying any "common characteristics" there is nothing to judge in this case
try to write a question that actually makes sense next time
2006-09-16 00:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by viking_transplant 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest stop looking for signs and look for what you want from a relationship. If he gives you what you want from a relationship and is still happy to be with you then stop trying to find problems. Wanting anal sex isn't necessarily a sign of being gay, nor is being in touch with your 'feminine side' If he is gay and in the closet let him come out in his own time being confronted or put on the spot is only going to make things harder for both him and you. If you feel the relationship isn't working then go, but someone's sexuality is a complicated thing and trying to push someone into defining it can be a really harmful and dangerous thing to do.
2006-09-16 00:03:38 · answer #5 · answered by waggy 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
And what then?
If he isn't a gay then its OK!
But if you don't like him,then its time to break up!;)
2006-09-16 00:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by woo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he is attempting to do something sexually to you that you do not like, tell him to knock it off. If he persists, dump him -- he is giving you a very good indication of what your married life would be like with him.
But no, just because he likes anal sex, that does not mean he is gay. He might perceive that as a way to prevent pregnancy. Who knows? Some guys are just like that with women too -- it is a turn on, sort of a taboo/dominance thing.
If he wanted to do that with men he would be with a man instead of you.
Hope this helps. Not attempting to be flippant here. Once again, if the guy is doing something sexual that makes you very uncomfortable and your "red flag" goes up, dump him. You don't have to put up with that kind of selfish behavior from a man.
2006-09-16 00:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, many straight guys enjoy anal sex. secondly, "characteristics most common in women" - i don't even know what you mean by that, but there are many "manly" gay men and many "feminine" straight men, so again, it is a bit of a generalization.
now, since i don't know whether or not he is actually attracted to men, i can't answer your question. if he says he isn't, just believe him ... worst case, he'll decide to come out to you later on. i really can't tell by your description, though. you should watch to see if he stares at men or even flirts with them.
2006-09-16 05:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by kittens 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he like to get his tips frosted? Does he flee to the supermarket each week for the newest gossip in US Weekly? Does he listen to Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, or trance music in the car? Does he run to Abercrombie for the latest in fall fashions? Does he stare at men as they walk by?
If the answer is no to most of these questions, then hes not gay. Straight men are fascinated by anal sex. They want to see if it feels "tighter" back there or if women are secretly into it. Its a mere curiousity. Relax your fears and stop badgering the poor guy - its an insult to some men to be questining their sexuality!
2006-09-16 00:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Girl in Cali 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes men are just feminine. they just have those little things that you think are gay qualities. that does not make them gay. some men show no signs of gayness but are true butt lovers
2006-09-16 00:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by sweet sexy san 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋