My wife has been having an afair for 2 months, I found out 3 weeks ago this morning she packed her case and left. The kids think shes at work. Wat do i do now?
2006-09-15 22:40:17 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For now, just tell the kids their mom needs some time to herself to work out some things. Meanwhile, seek legal advice
2006-09-15 22:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
IM sorry to hear this because you're in for a lot of adjusting.
First off, please don;t let this lower your self esteem.
You need to file for divorce and start the proceedings for child support.
Do you have contact with her? She could be going through a time in her life where being "free" makes her a whole new person. Eventually she may realize the grass isnt any greener on the other side. Especially if it's a sexual affair. Any feelings in just two months is probably lust.
Sooner or later guiilt about the kids is going to set in. She's either going to miss being a family, realize that the excitement of a new person doesnt last, or (hate to say it) is truly in love.
I cant say much because i dont know what kind of sex you guys were having, how many children, how hectic home life was, etc.
But right now I suggest you tell the children Mommy needed some time away to be alone.
if you want to email me im @ triciasdish. I can tell you what I did at 24 after my second son and why.
2006-09-16 06:18:05 · answer #2 · answered by triciasdish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a couple of thisngs that stand out in here, the first is how little information you give. Why was she having an affair? What was your relationship like? Were they natural children to her or were they step children? How long have you guys been having problems? Before we can pass judgement there has to be a clear line of demarkation. Even in that case it is difficult to figure out as an outsider but I can tell you this, jumping into another relationship right now will only lead to disaster you are still raw and you will be for a while. You need someone to talk to and preferably a proffessional. You eed to look at what happened and events leading up to her departure. You need to get your kids in too. I noticed how everyone jumped to the conclusion that she is evil and you need a new woman immediately and I disagree. There are two sides to every story even mine and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Be honest with yourself or you will relive your nightmare over and over until you figure out what it is you had missed. When you have done the looking over everything and you are ok with yourself, then it is time to be with your kids. A new woman too fast will only confuse them, hurt them and alianate them from you. You need to be strong right now and reflect. Good luck.
2006-09-16 07:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lynnette G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Children dont need to know she Left you Just yet tell them Mommy Needs some time alone But U need to get Legal assistance Incase she tries to take the Children from you and also get an DIVORCE! and Find a really Nice Woman who you can start over with Hope this helps
2006-09-16 05:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by HunnyBunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sort out the legal stuff and QUICK! Then celebrate your "freedom". DON'T whatever you do, get into another relationship for three years. Whatever you come of the marriage with will make you amazingly attractive to women! Then you get married again, have another child and get divorced again within a few years and lose what you saved from your last marriage. It's a bit of a vicious circle! :-)
2006-09-16 05:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by CBucks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but really once a cheater always a cheater do you really want to be with somebody like that let him have her. I feel for your kids I am not sure what age your kids are but you really need to tell them the truth the best you can so they can understand you don't have to tell them why but say something like mommy has moved out and she is living with somebody else now.
2006-09-16 06:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs Magoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you know your not alone. My wife is spun out on dope and in the middle of her 2nd affair for the last 2 months... We dont have any kids (thank God...)What Im trying to do is accept it and get on (much easier said then done). Talk to a marriage and fam counselor, that might help. Its tough anyway you slice it... I feel for ya... Good luck!
2006-09-16 07:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by Joshie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take care of your children. Someone else will come along and be a good wife and mother for your children. I cant believe a mother would walk out and leave her kids. Shes not worth it let her go you deserve better
2006-09-16 05:44:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How awful!!!.....tell them she is away on a vacation. This happened to a friend of ours...the wife came back after a while,...but then she left again....the second time forever. He remarried...someone less pretty...much less...She will probably do the same...Start planning for yourself- your own and your kids' well-being....you must be very confused and angry right now....I hope you will stay strong for the kids' sake.
2006-09-16 05:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are your kids old enough to be told? If not' Keep it to yourself until they are old enough to understand. In the mean time get a lawyer and get things started. This is what I had to do' If you loved her you have to give yourself time to heal. I know it's heart breaking but you have to move on. If she was screwing another man take my word for it you don't want her back. If she did it once' She will do it again. The trust is gone Things will get better. They did for me.
2006-09-16 05:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋