What's the best way to deal with harrassment?

Question

There's a guy from my work who won't leave me alone. When I'm trying to work on the computer he comes over to see what I'm doing (Ok, often I'm on here but that isn't the point) and sometimes grabs the mouse off me to click on the reduced pages on the bottom toolbar. He asks me personal questions and if I refuse to answer he tries to make it out like I'm hiding something, and distracts me all the time when I'm trying to get some work done. I can't really tell my boss about this because I'm afraid she will get suspicious and look at the history on my computer and see that I've been on websites I shouldn't be on. And I can't really describe how the things he has done are harrassment, it's just the way he's done them.
So basically, I can't complain about him because he could tell her about me being on Answers and 360 and I could get the sack.

Answer 1

If you want to be nice to him, suggest he leave you alone and let you get your work done. That he should be worried about getting his own work done and not worried about what you're doing.
When he grabs for the mouse, slap his hand like he's a child and say, "Don't get grabby, look what your mother got for grabbing," then chuckle like you're joking and invite him to go to his own desk.
When he asks personal stuff tell him it's none of his concern and you're not going to discuss it with him and it's now time for him to go back to his desk and complete his own work.
If he doesn't take these as hints, look him dead in the eyes and ask him if the phrase "Sexual Harassment" means anything to him. Or perhaps if the phrase "Hostile Work Environment" rings a bell in that tiny little brain of his.
If all of this should fail you, try going to the HR department and tell them the same phrases you told him. Their ears should perk up.
If you feel that you're being harassed, then you are. Weather he intends it that way or not is irrelevant, it's the way his actions make you feel that are relevant. Like beauty, harassment is in the eye of the beholder.
In the mean time, I would 1) Start documenting it every time he comes to your desk, day, dates and times, being sure to disclose what the conversation was and his actions, like he grabbed for the mouse of my computer while asking about my sex life. 2) Start staying out of web-sights where you're not supposed to be while at work or clear the history when you're done so if your boss checks, she/he won't find it. And if he/she does find it, hopefully you can cover your behind by 'suggesting' that you were on a break at the time. 3) Also document it when/if you inform the HR department of his actions and what if any actions they took to resolve the problem. If you involve the HR department, they shouldn't go to the boss at first, and you should be fairly safe. But don't quote me on that. Our HR didn't take it to the boss first, they tried to clear it up, and if they couldn't, then they took it to the boss.
From the way it sounds, he's actually bullying you in the work place and it's something that you don't have to put up with.

Answer 2

Hiya Rox,

Well, I am of the view that Harrassment is a far more serious offence than you using the web ya little tinker.

You are protected from this type of behaviour by law The Protection from Harrassment Act is there for such situations as these.

I think your employer would be more worried about his conduct than yours.

Have a word with your boss about it. You need not tell her what you are doing, simply point out that his behaviour towards you is unwanted and unsolicited, and that it is worrying you. Simply ask your boss to tell him to leave you alone.

If his questions are of a sexual nature then this is sexual harassment and far more serious. Your boss will want to stop this quickly and as a woman will probably act very quickly.

If you don't want to confront your boss directly an anonymous letter stating the facts of what he is doing will possibly be enough. If there are other women in the office or company that he has contact with the letter could have come from anyone.

Good luck, I hope this problem is resolved quickly for you.

Answer 3

Stay off the computer at work for a month and then your history should be fairly clear as they'll probably only check the last few weeks. Then if this moron keeps pestering you, tell him you will be going to the boss, workplace harrassment in Oz is a no go zone and usually treated fairly promptly as I think the company can be held responsible if they do not act. If your boss does nothing then tell the moron that you are going to take the matter further unless he ceases to harrass you. Write everything down he does or says including the dates so you have a record of harrassment. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Unless you act, this will continue.

You need to be assertive about this. You don't say whether this person is your equal or superior, (in terms of your organisational hierarchy,) but in any event you really have to tackle this for the sake of your own self-respect.

It doesn't matter that you can't quite put your finger, exactly, on what it is that makes you feel so uncomfortable. What matters is that you feel uncomfortable. You must get his attention and ensure he knows that you are talking to him and that you need him to listen. Call him by his name. "John/Mr Smith. I need you to hear something I have to say to you." Stop everything else you are doing, look him directly in the eye. It would be best to be at the same level as him, so if you are seated and he is standing, invite him to sit down for a moment. (If you stand up, you will give the appearance of looking for confrontation, or being hostile or combative.) You need to say to him that you find it very uncomfortable when he approaches you as often as he does, and that you are certain he would be offended if someone took the mouse from his grasp when he was working, and that you would prefer that he stopped doing that to you. Tell him you hope he appreciates your talking directly to him, rather then talking to others about the problem, and that you are sure that he will take what you have said on board.

If his appalling rudeness and bad behaviour continues, remind him that you have told him previously how you feel as a result of his interference but that he has chosen to ignore you. Say that unless he stops as of RIGHT NOW, you will report the matter to your boss.

Oh, and clear your computer's histyory trail!!!!

Answer 5

First you shouldn't browse the internet at work. In my opinion doing this too much is stealing from the business. You can always to this in your lunch breaks.

Second remove the obvious history. Tools Internet Options Clear History.

Third confront the guy warn him that you will charge him with harassment if he doesn't back off. If he doesn't tell your boss.
If he tells about your secret just say you don't do it in company time ( you no longer do). Companies are supposed to give
you warnings before sacking so you wouldn't get into too much trouble. He would if he has been doing this to other people as well as you.

Answer 6

well I think it all depends on
A. does he do this to anyone else?
B. is it him who does the Internet scans for your company...IE, there is always someone who goes through every-ones computer to check they haven't been looking at anything illegal or lots of porn
C. does it make you feel uncomfortable and insecure about his intentions
If it does then you should really do something, just have a quiet word or approach another member of the office and ask them to keep a check and log every time he does this
harassment is not a nice thing, you wouldn't want to get to the point of leaving your job because of some nosey perv do you?
good luck and remember that you haven't done anything wrong, I'm sure everyone surfs the net for a little while each day.

Answer 7

grabbing the mouse and checking what is on your minimised screens is harrassment.

clear your history and tell an older member of staff like a team leader or supervisor.

the guys a bit of a nut case by the sounds of it but probably harmless. a 'get off you wierdo' type reaction might work. Try standing up for yourself.

don't use the sites during work hours for a couple of weeks. check them out during lunchtime etc.

sounds like bullying to me.

Answer 8

stick a knife in his crotch and say in a menacing way with a scary stare " leave me alone or I will cut your balls off"


That would scare me away. (not that I harass people)

Answer 9

Hi
Best thing is to neglect & don't respond for personal queries

Answer 10

What is the matter with you...just have a word with the prick