she is not interested in relate or trying to sort any problems, she just expects me to move out of our home which we jointly own with nothing but the clothes on my back can she do this?
2006-09-15 21:27:10 · 51 answers · asked by heartbroken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i feel for you i know this feeling and its probably best to step away for a while take the things you need and try to find another place to stay . of course this is only if the situation is volital because last thing you need is fighting and arguments. and about your belonging and i say that as both of yours since you've been married 18 yrs most court will look at all property as marital assets and will divide everything accordingly i only wish sometimes that spouses and partner would realize the situation they place you in when they decide things like this for you without a little time to prepare . hopefully if you still care about her alot shell realize that she misses and needs you as much as u do her well best of luck and hope it works out for you in the end. id suggest seeking a lawyers consult on making sure all assets are divided correctly if you don't get back together
2006-09-15 21:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by wiz of ia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's puzzling is why after 18 years she taken such a firm stand and a very harsh one too.
I am also trying to figure out if you are more worried about whether she can actually take the house away from you or if you aware of what behind this firm stand ... it is possible you have hurt her repeatedly with empty and/or broken promises. I don't really know but I believe you do. So the question you should be asking yourself "what did you and your wife allow to happen" that she closed the door totally of reconciliation. It's not about whose right and whose wrong here, it's more like who hurting and who did what to hurt the other more.
Sometimes it taken a repenting heart to work miracles and you sure could do with one, so trying praying.
As for your house, it's jointly owned if you and your wife can't come to an amicable solution, the courts will, so don't worry about it. I am sorry you are going through this... it's never easy I'm told but I wish you and your wife a miracle and will keep you both in my prayers.
2006-09-16 03:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Brunette Babe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not legally no she can't do that! Still I find it difficult to believe that a woman would just end it all after 18 yrs and you observed no warnings that this was about to occur. You say you want to sort out problems. Has she been asking you to go to counseling for 15 years and when she wants a divorce you suddenly want to work things out? That is a very common reaction from many men. Even if that isn't the case you must have had numerous clues that this woman was done with you. For some reason you chose to ignore the clues and will perhaps pay the price of losing her. Sorry for the pain you must be in, however ignorance while blissful also has a price.
2006-09-15 21:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, when your wife makes this decision, it is not a painless decision. Not when the marriage had stayed for 18 years.
You pictured yourself as the innocent one, the poor thingy. Poor you for having a wife who doesnt want you anymore out of no reason. Poor you for having to move out from your own jointly owned home. Poor you for having nothing except for the clothes on your back. Poor you for being helpless over this so called over powering wife.
Well, let's just say that you are a man who doesnt own any balls for owning up to your own responsibities that contributed to the problems in your marriage. From the way you wrote, you are placing the entire blame on your wife for the end of your marriage. What about your part of the blame? Are you deviating it to make it look like you are the angel to the rest of the participant in Yahoo Answers?? Come on!!
You also seem to be more worried about losing your house than your own wife! That shows how much you value your wife and I can really understand if your wife leaves you because she doesnt feel you value her in the first place.
My point is be honest with yourself so that you can be honest to others. I am sure you do contribute to the break up of your marriage, somehow or rather. Perhaps your dishonesty also plays a part that causes your wife not being able to trust you. Hence, after much pain, she decided, enough is enough.
Yes, you may be heartbroken.However, do you ever see or feel her being heartbroken too? She certainly must have been totally heartbroken and distraught to declare 18 years of marriage to be over. So, I urge you not to live in a state of denial of not holding any responsibilites to this break up. If you can own up, only then you can free yourself to accept her decision and understand why she did what she decided.
2006-09-16 03:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by FraN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since u r married and own the home jointly u can find a solicitor and u r legally entitled 2 half so u can insist that she sell up and u get half.
i'm trying 2 sort my dad out at the moment as my mum left him on thursday after 25 yrs of marriage, she doesn't want anything 2 do with us and is demanding that my dad sell up and give her half the money 4 the property they jointly own.
my advice, go 2 citizens advice or a solicitor and see what ur options r.
2006-09-15 21:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it looks like things are over on her end, and she's trying to leave you with the short end of the stick. That's totally unfair. Well, depending on what you may have done in the past. I can't say since you haven't said anything about that. I still feel that what she is asking you to do is crazy. I'd go to the first lawyer I can find and get everything taken care of as soon as possible. I'd put my foot down on the house and moving out. If she wants to end things, then she should be the one to leave, and all the property should stay in the house until the judge decides who gets what. At least that's what I think should happen. Good luck!!!!
2006-09-15 21:38:16 · answer #6 · answered by t.larae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh heartbroken, you must be devastated. Firstly do you have young children who live at home, if you do then I believe she does have a right to stay in the house at least until they are over 16. Obviously the house and its contents belong to you both and if there are not children involved then surely you have as much right to be there as her and I don't think she can legally evict you. I would stay put if that is the case, or if you do chose to go you could always force the sale of the house, but I don't think for some reason that you will go along that path. Do take proper advice trying without to get the vicious solicitors involved, there are many sites on the net to look for your rights. My heart is with you take care.
2006-09-15 21:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends if you have kids and who gets custody. At least in Canada. Any assetts owned before marriage, if there are no kids, stay with the original owner. Assetts gained after marriage are divided equally; again in there are no kids.
But besides all that, I'm really sorry man. You sound like a nice enough guy. Maybe this is the best for you. Maybe YOU deserve better.
Get a lawyer though.
2006-09-15 21:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by Tall Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she can not force you to leave unless she gets the law involved.
If you want the marriage don't leave the house. Soon as you do you loose everything. You can tell her if she doesn't like being married the door is not locked and she can leave anytime she wants. But don't you leave.
Tell her you love her and feel the marriage can be saved.
You leaving gives her everything and you nothing but the shirt on your back.
Don't fight, don't make threats or she will put a restraining order on you and out you will go.
You make your choice and stick with it
2006-09-15 21:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on where you're staying, but i dont think she can do that. If you decide to have a separation or immediate divorce, a settlement has to be drawn out.
In a separation case, it'll eb a bit more tricky as you're still not legally divorced, so the hse stays put till then, however you can sell it and split the proceeds and get a plc of your own each.
Shld you decide to divorce immediately, it's a straight cut case of having to sell your place and BOTH of you move out.
You ahve a legal right to stay at YOUR place. She doesnt have a right to throw you out. U can get the local police to help you out shld she insist and becomes unreasonable...then you can file for immediate divorce under unreasonable behaviour!
Good luck!
2006-09-15 21:31:55 · answer #10 · answered by ikusburples 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋