He is very lazy, I have to repeatedly tell him to do his chores, to do his homework, go to school, he has gone to summer schoo two years in a row..I used to be a stay at home mom for 8 yrs! Now I work from 11:45-8:00pm, Monday-Friday.. He doesn't seem to have many friends, he likes to use the internet,he likes music, he has video games but he doesn't have much interest in that because I haven't bought him any new ones.
2006-09-15 21:06:53 · 12 answers · asked by Purrk3y 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
is his father around? perhaps he needs to spend some time with him..
he needs to be with someone from the time he gets home until you get home. dont let him just sit at home by himself. only BAD things will come from that. ask a friend or neighbor to babysit or 'check in' on him..
you go to work at 11:45am? arent you around to drive his butt to school in the morning? it might suck to get up early to do that, but it is completely within your right to b*tch at him for not being responsible enough to go to school on his own the entire time you take him. march him right to the front door, right to his classroom if you have to! make sure he goes to school!
when you come home, ask to see his homework. if he doesnt have it done, sit right down with him and watch him do it. don't let him goof off and waste time, he has to do his homework before bed.. make sure he has a good bed time. dont let him stay up at night messing around online or watching tv till all hours of the night and morning on a school night! this might be why he doesnt want to get up for school in the morning; he didn't get to bed until late and didnt get enough sleep.
you need to set strict hard rules. let him know there will be consequences for his actions. if he doesnt want to obey you, ship him off to military school. it might sound awfully harsh, but he needs guidance and rules and to learn responsibility and how to be self-reliant.
remember, it is usually the unsupervised children who are left home alone all day that usually end up experimenting and becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol as well as becoming sexually active. i am sure you're not ready to be a grandma yet..
2006-09-15 21:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by .jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult age - all those hormones raging around that small frame, but you have to make a stand. You are doing him absolutely no favours letting this sitauation continue.
You are in charge - not him - and he will either fit in or butt out.
Sounds like you are spoiling him. Make him earn some money by helping you out around the house with chores, so that he can save the money to buy stuff, rather than you giving all the time. If the chores don't get done, and he does not cooperate, he gets no dough, no food, no internet, no nothing. That is what the grown-up world he wants to get into is like.
2006-09-15 21:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 14 and he has to wake himself for school. If he wakes late, his bedtime goes to 8 o'clock (he has no tv, videogames, computer or anything fun in his bedroom) and he earns back 1/2 hour for every day he gets up on time. At 13, he got the right to set his own bedtime but that came with the responsibility for waking himself and getting to school on time.
He's been back at school for 2 weeks and he's woken at 6:30 every morning.
I think consistency and giving the responsibility to them is the key. If my kids miss a homework assignment, they're barred from computer, music, video games for a week. My grounding is a real one... even though it's easier to give them back those things after 2 days, I stick to the week on the calendar. They know it's serious so they're much less likely to miss a homework assignment.
It's hard to punish your child.. but if you do it 3 times and stick with it, you'll find the 4th offense won't happen. If he's responsible for his wakeup time and it effects his bedtime, he'll start getting up.
Good luck :-)
2006-09-16 05:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away the internet and make him start doing chores to pay for it.
Sadly, i have the same issues... with my husband!
If he seems to disrespect you, then you should return the favor by taking away the playstation.
I remember when my mom started working and I was a teenager, I started to feel ignored and all that crap. Maybe you could take some time and just sit down with him, maybe even try to play the videogames or whatever he does, just try to show interest in him and maybe tensions could ease up.
2006-09-15 21:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by Suzy Q 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the things he likes best, and he has to earn it back...you need to change your hours of work, and be there when he is home...all I could say is you did a bad job raising him..he should of already been doing this when he was little, cleaning..take that computer away if he doesn't do his homework..I wonder where the father is...he should have a male role model...
2006-09-15 21:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't intrest in his music and videogames because you never buy him new ones. what does he do the whole day if he doesn't do anything go to sleep? try to let him do his chores in saturday and sundays and let him do his homework after school first. if he has a excellent grade on his progress, buy him some video games or music that he like every trimester.
2006-09-15 23:36:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him do his homework right after school and have him in the bed by 10:00.
2006-09-16 05:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jazzy Boo! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, here is what you do. make him do ecery thing, cook clean all that stuff for 2 weeks. he won't do it and he will suffer. after 2 weeks tell him this is all the crap you have to deal with, so if he wants you to do anything, he has to do his chores home work and get to the bus or he is on his own.
2006-09-16 04:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever actually disciplined him? Boot his butt out of bed and drag him to the bus by his ears if you have to. If he doesn't do his chores then throw his computer in the trash can. God, be a parent!
2006-09-15 22:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by K M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a woodsheddin'. Maybe if you wouldn't listen to all of this modern psychobabble about child rearin' and coaxing the children to exercise their rational prerogative and all of that sh*t and just take him to the bedroom and beat his lazy *ss you wouldn't be having this problem.
2006-09-15 21:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋