me and my boyfriend rarely get to see each other unless it has to do with our baby..we are both 17..just leting you know...well i keep asking him when can we talk about us...and he keeps saying i dont know...and i told him that im starting to get mad because it seems like your avoding it and i told him that plus we dont even spend time with each other and he says i know...and so he said he had to go take a shower then he was going to sleep...because he has soccer and all for our school..for me right now im having home school for 4 weeks since i had our baby 3weeks ago..yeahh so im starting to get more and more mad before i was all sad but now im just get mad...because we dont even spend to with each other and i always ask him when can we talk and can we talk now and alls he says is i dont know..well today im suppose to see him because he's suppose to come pick up the baby and shes suppose to spend the night..imgoing to feel down because im use to having her with me all the time... :/
2006-09-15 20:21:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well how can i talk to him and how can i gain a lot of intrest back....because it seems ever we started arguing ..i just want to basicullay want to gain his intrest back...and be able to talk to him..
2006-09-15 20:24:05 · update #1
we have been together for 1year and 8m..
2006-09-15 20:43:12 · update #2
First off, I think you are fully aware of the situation you are in and don't need people putting you down when you are looking for help. So don't take to heart what those other people are saying. He is probably having a hard time mentally, but if he is still helping with the baby, then he isn't a complete jackass. He has to care somewhat because he could just have left you. I know this might seem hard but if you argue, you have to be the one to hold your temper, if he starts to see :talking to you: as being an argument, then he will start to avoid you, so try hard to avoid it. When he takes the baby, maybe leave him a note in the bag with something saying something nice. If you ever get the chance, read the book "fill your bucket" it is about how positive compliments can have an effect on the person. The more full his bucket is, the happier he will be. He has probably had his bucket dipped from too many times, he just needs a refill, and from what it seems like so do you. Take cute pics of you baby, and laugh at them. There are jobs that are out there where you can maintain a fair living without a high school education, you just have to fine the right place. If you live in NV, CA, or AZ apply to In-n-out Burger. Pick dates for the both of you, a day to hang out for a picnic or something. Think relaxing. Just remember to keep calm, and try and keep everything as positive as possible. Congrats on the baby btw!
2006-09-15 20:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by curly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all u were stupid to get a baby at 17. Now that u have it u will fund that at the time that u should be enjoying, u are tied down with various other activities like bringing up yoiur child. I really dont know what u can do about it except talk to your BF and ask him to share some responsibilities.
2006-09-16 03:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it isn't a good idea to allow him to have the baby over night for a few reasons.
1) Rarely get to see eachother. Which means he rarely gets to see the baby and take care of the baby. So, is that meaning he is going to stay up and get up in middle of the night, properly feed and give bath?
2) Once in a blue moon is not cutting it. Either he be a dad or not.
You two choose to have this baby and realized that you two have to make sacrifices. School needs to be kept with. However, soccer is NOT a priority or an good excuse.
It looks to me he realized how much responsibility he has now and trying to avoid it.
I think it is time he steps up and you give him an ultimatum of either stepping up or you two break it off and met with mutual agreement on visitations with the baby.
I hope he has a good paying job and paying child support. If not, soccer needs to be drop and a job needs to be picked up.
2006-09-16 03:48:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, the guy wanted to have sex with someone(anyone) ,not have a baby. go out and tell all your friends what a mistake you have made trying to act grown-up and now your life is runied. You will always be poor, you will not be able to go anywhere and you will have no education. And be smart. DO NOT let a child take an infant of 3 wks away to take care of it. You must be insane. A child has no idea how to handle a baby and it may end up dead with you taking risks. At least you have your mother to help you. Try to get some brains here girl!
2006-09-16 03:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is clearly obvious. His feelings has changed. Getting mad will not help. You have to sit down and set up a new set of goals for yourself. Do not include him in these goals. You must concentrate on these goals for your immediate future depend on how you can cope with your new life and prepare a future for you and your baby. Stop waiting on him...you have to act for yourself. Begin to carry yourself in this manner and let him know your plans. If he want to be involved with you, then he has to step up NOW...not later. The child is both your responsibilities and if he want out of your life then he Will be responsible for his part.
You have to develop this hard line...otherwise you won't stay focused and waiting on him will drag and slow you down. This you cannot afford. We are talking about your life...and only you are responsible for it. As I'm sure you have learned your life has changed drastically. You are now forced to become an adult. This is the bed you have made for yourself...you have to mature very fast and step up.
If you do not understand this, then you will be like many other teen mothers...left in limbo, waiting around and going nowhere.
2006-09-16 03:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your still children and your b/f isn't handling the fact that he's a father very well.........he is running scared. I don't think that I would be allowing him to have the baby overnight for a start as the baby needs to be with you, especially at this critical time. I think that you need to have a round table talk with you, your parents, the babies father and his parents and start to set out exactly what is the role of every person concerning the baby. .
2006-09-16 03:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by Linda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know i was like that guy, minus the child sometimes the person has to know what he or she has right in front of them, how great of a person that they are with, Unfortunately he probably doesnt see it now having a kid isnt easy, he might be trying to just deal with this stuff in his own way i wouldnt say let it be because it will only get worse, but keep pestering him like keep letting him know you want to talk, me and my wife used to have the same thing but now we are getting better, i used to get upset because she just wouldnt let me go but now we are better with each other and are more happier. so just keep trying thats all you can do and try to make the best out of everything. good luck
2006-09-16 03:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by David V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋