Wife not working for last 8 months due to recurring illnesses. Husband moves his 5 (yes FIVE) step kids into home 6 mo ago. Wife does all homework, PTA, supervision of the kids etc. Oldest step kid is 22/adult and got job 2 months ago. Husband still constantly stresses about rent, basic utilities, food, and finances. While visiting her I overhear the following...Wife asks husband if 22 YO is helping him with bills. Husband tells her, “You have no job and bring no money to this house so, you have no right to know how much money my child is giving to this house. And anyway I’m not going to charge him a dime for anything. He is free to give me whatever he wants or not but what he gives me is not your concern.” What would you do/think if you were the wife in this situation?
2006-09-15 20:08:09 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My dear lady, she has a job, domestic engineer.This is not a fair situation to her. I have a feeling you were very brief about the situation and it is worse than you conveyed.She has rights as an equal partner. If she feels she is being verbally and mentally abused then tell her to start making plans.Get her birth certificate,soc sec card, dipolma's in order and in a safe place with extra clothes packed.Call the shelter first to make sure there is an opening.When the time is right then go.,if she feels she should.
You didn't mention what kind of illness she has. Maybe she qulifies for disability which she could begin to apply for.Ususally everyone is regected the first time.You need plenty of medical history.Good Will employment is very helpful to get a person with disabilities and job around illness.It also documents the ability to work. A shelter is only temporary.So I would start proceedures soon. God bless.
2006-09-15 20:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
didn't wife know about husbands 5 stepkids before she got married?
Husband obviously feels resentful that wife isn't pulling her share of the duties around the house.
Has the husband always support the wife or did she take care of the bills at one time?
It all depends. There isn't really enough information to make a decision. Of course if the wife doesn't want to be there she should leave him. If the can't handle the 5 kids then she should tell him it's too much.
If he is supporting her while she is sick then he deserves a little slack. He has a lot of responsibility.
If he is being constantly verbally abusive then she should probably leave. During hard times married people argue big time. They say a lot of nasty stuff to blow off steam. This is normal. If it gets worse and totally out of control she probably should get away from it.
2006-09-15 20:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by Trevor B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like wife is getting much of a rest and recovery time for illnesses. Sounds like the father and son are the husband and wife. The wife has become the child. Sounds like all need counseling. If they are unwilling to go, then the wife may need to think about leaving, and getting a job doing something, anything. It's possible that the stress of living in that situation has caused the recurring illnesses. She most likely will feel better when all of that has been removed from her life.
2006-09-15 21:47:55 · answer #3 · answered by salsera 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here the wife has a to take a stand and talk abt her rights, a marriage is fr better or worse of course in todays life that saying that a marriage is fr better or worse is a myth, it is only fr better, as u may see evn in this situation, the husband has to understand that just because the wife is a stay home mum doesnt mean she does nto contribute studies have shown that given all the work and effort a stay home mum puts in she deserves a salary of more than 3000 $ a mont, maybe if u are close to the fly in question, talk to the husband, with a little insight and understanding they can funtion as a fly.
2006-09-15 22:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like an abusive siutation but what does your friend have to say? If she's not complaining, then why should she escape? No, this is not normal married life. And even if many wives have to bear this abusive situation, it does not make it normal; it never will and should never be.
Wife really should not allow it. But the decision has to be hers to make. If husband's abusive behavior is more acceptable than a homeless shelter, then she should just find ways to minimize stress in the home though I can imagine how difficult that may be.
2006-09-15 20:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by Erize Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh get away! She is in a partnership when she is in a marriage! That is her house too. She is out of work due to an illness, she doesn't need more freeloaders in her house! I would get outta there in a heart beat, hey it shouldn't hurt him in any bills, since "he's the only one paying right." Try this out and maybe he'll come back begging! No one should be treated like that, I know I wouldn't put up with that ever!!
2006-09-15 20:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by denise r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not a homeless shelter There are places that are especially for women that are in your situation and their very good they help you with absolutely everything and help you get back on your feet all the way free, look up in your phone book or the Internet or just ask a police officer exactly were it is in your area there should be one near you. You don't have to put up with someone like that,you can do better.when you leave don't even look back be your own person no one will no where you are unless you tell them they will help you in more ways the one. GOOD LUCK.
2006-09-15 20:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by lilymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is common yet immature. evaluate that for the period of life regrettably we've household projects from the day we are born. formerly getting married or once you're single you merely have fewer. Married human beings nevertheless have double household projects yet they proportion them or they ought to proportion them. in case you sense you could not cope with plenty on you plate then communicate approximately it mutually with your spouse and bypass/proportion some. that's that before everything you felt improved and took up so plenty greater advantageous than you should deal with. some human beings can do in hassle-free terms that plenty. you do not ought to be a great-can-do-all or in keeping with risk a million/2 yet you could not abandon your loved ones merely like that the two. additionally, you could pick it gradual on your guy or woman, even a million/2 an hour to study a e book or to decide for a walk.
2016-10-15 01:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT'S NO MARRIAGE! Your husband seems to be a dictator! I suggest you take your self and your children to a homeless shelter or some abused woman's shelter and get away from him! It is evident that5 you do not count for much there!
2006-09-15 20:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That she is not important to the husband, and is somewhat of a burden. And he does'nt value worth at all. Especially since she has been ill.
2006-09-15 20:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by Byron B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋