For the past 4 years of our marriage, I have used the internet and female toys as a way of satisfying myself. This is unknown to my wife, who suddenly has shown an interest in using toys in the bedroom. I'm really worried that it will hurt our relationship if I let her know about my secret at this point. Also, I don't know if I'm comfortable doing this with her, as I have become accustomed to my own personal form of stress-relief. How do I handle this situation...?
2006-09-15 18:28:06 · 23 answers · asked by MICHAEL S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe she DOES know--just found out--and is looking for a way to make you more comfortable about it OR is a bit insulted or hurt after finding out and thinks she isn't enough for you. better explain to her. i think she's indirectly showing you that she IS aware that you use them.
2006-09-15 18:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Lips 4077 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely 'fess up...100%! If you think she'd be hurt now, just think of if she finds out later on down the line? How will she feel then? How will you feel? If you think she is ready to experiment, as you seem to, since you are already well-practiced, why don't you try it with her? If it goes well, then open up. It it goes poorly, maybe your secret will be safe forever. But, honestly, I think that telling her the truth would be the best thing for both parties...and there's no reason that you can't still play on your own! Encourage her to do the same. Then you can think about each other while doing it and it'll be that much better when you get to act out your fantasies! Hell, maybe you won't even need the toys at all!!! Good luck...oh, and HAVE FUN! ;)
2006-09-16 01:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by sugaspice_n_smiles 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your an idiot.
You know that?
Have you ever stop to think that she already knew, but decided not to act like a jerk (she'd be within her right to do so) and for her to give that fantasy to you, instead of beating off to a screen and making her feel cheap?
If this is so, you should be BEGGING for her to use toys on you. Not that many women take the initiative to turn a secret that could have the potential to wreck a relationship, and then turn it around because she knows that this would make you happy. On top of that SHE'S WILLING TO TAKE PART IN IT.
Bow before her you, Simian of Secrecy, and bestow her to be a part of your carnal fantasies.
Go forth Conan and let her unleash THE BEAST!
MU HA HA HA HA HA (diabolical laughter).
2006-09-16 01:39:49 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymustard 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, u need to tell her. And 2nd, try it out. There are things that can be done in the bedroom. Stay off the net if there is a prob;em. Your wife should satisfy u not the porn. She may be hurt but will forgive u. If not get help
2006-09-16 01:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by deb2rule 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont land yourself in the safe heaven,
Yur not satisfied with you Sex that your getting from your wife that is the reason your choosing the othermeans to satify your Sex hunger.
And if she using this toy means, she know that your using it or she wants your married sex live to more wonderful and pump if some passion using this toys.
Be honest to your feelings and her feeling.
Do some introspetion and your the best judge
All the Best :)
2006-09-16 01:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by manu p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not bring up the internet to her...if she's like me, I feel that viewing other women as a means to get hard and jack off is cheating...otherwise, you'd just close your eyes and think of your wife, you know?
I would be totally embarrassed to have toys used on me. But, to each their own.
If you feel this is something you must do, but don't want the toys used on you, buy her something for her as a surprise and let her pleasure herself...maybe she'll take the hint.
My final opinion is that perhaps you're satisfying yourself too much and not giving her as much as you should/used to, and that's why she's suggesting toys.
2006-09-16 01:32:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she found out about your dirty little secret, but doesn't want you to know she knows? I don't know.
Toys are fun. Maybe your wife wants a break from the routine. If she really wants to, what can it hurt? If you don't like using toys with her, tell her you really weren't into it, and you don't have to do it again. You don't necessarily even have to tell her you've done this before.
You never know until you try.
2006-09-16 01:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by trivial 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey man this seems very simple let her try it tell her you like it and then have a great time. By the way has it ever occurred to you that she already knows about your little playtime habit and is "suddenly" trying to introduce it in the bedroom to stay more involved with you sexually. Women are way more intuitive than men and a hell of a lot shrewder than many guys think. Give her the credit that she' s due
2006-09-16 01:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by david k 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you need to quit "relieving stress" on your own. That is soo selfish. Sexual pleasures are something to be shared between two people in a marriage to bring them closer to one another. Basically you're cheating on your wife in your mind.
If she wants to use toys with you, deal with it, do it with her and develop a real relationship with her. She is your mate, your partner, friend and lover.
2006-09-16 01:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by toomeymimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what all the fuss is about.Either tell her you already use toys,or act like it's your first time.Either way,you're going to have fun with it!
2006-09-16 07:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋