my parents had a arguement...what do I do?

Question

After 23 years,I thought my parents woud be together forever. Another women came into the picture and they had a arguement,now he's moved out with her and their talking about getting a divorce...what should I do?

I have over 5 siblings or I wouldn't be quite as worried.

I'm still underage and living with them.

Also,no offense to anybdy. but if I don't like your advice I won't take it.

Answer 1

Do not get involved as you will add to the drama if you do. It is okay for Parents to argue and its not your fault. You could ask them not to argue in front of you and the siblings. That would be a reasonable request which they should respect. Then you will not feel insecure. Even though it is normal for them to argues, it is HOW they resolve the argument that is important. Mostly keep out of it and dont get involved.

Answer 2

You didn't mention your age so not sure if you are still living in the home. But either way, it is difficult to see your parents get a divorce.

First of all, know that it isn't your fault they are getting a divorce. Oftentimes folks will stay married for the children's sake which is good if they are working on the marriage. It isn't good if there is a lot of arguing and infidelity. What are you going to learn from this type of behavior. If your Dad isn't going to be faithful, then he needs to move out and get the divorce. He will still be your Dad and you can keep your relationship intact sometimes on a daily basis.

It is their decision and it sounds like they have already spoken. Parents often don't consider their children's feeling when they go about doing what pleases them, ie the other woman. It is a character flaw but he is still your Dad so try to maintain a relationship with both parents. Learn from their mistakes so you won't make them in your marriage.

I am sure there is a lot you don't know about their situation but it is safe to say regardless of how bad they were getting alone, one partner shouldn't fool around until there is a legal separation or divorce.

Answer 3

I am sorry for the situation your parents are in. Unfortunately, things like this happens so, know you are not the only one that has ever had a situation like this.

How do you feel about it? I know it isn't that easy to deal with it but, if your parents are not happy, sometimes it is better to have parents go their separate ways and able to remain civil than to be together and constantly argue etc.

You could suggest they do marriage counseling and see if marriage is salvageable. But if he has already moved out with the other female and discussing divorce. Pretty much they might already came to conclusion of what seems best for the situation.

I would still recommend you voice how you feel. Not good for you to bundle all this stuff inside yourself. Even if you feel talking to a counselor might help.

Just know because they are getting divorce doesn't mean they won't be parents to you and siblings. So, it might be altered abit of how you all be taken care of. But you will still have your parents in your life and have a heart to heart discussion with your dad and mom to let them know how you feel (whether disapprove or not) and that you still love them.

Answer 4

Honey, at what point did this become your problem? I understand that mom and dad have gone their separate ways, but it doesn't mean that they love you guys any less. They are still going to continue to be mom and dad. They are still going to make all the decisions regarding all of you together and they are still going to go to great lengths to keep you guys as stable as possible. Let them work this out honey, they know what is best. I know you may think you can help, but trust me sweetie, there isn't anything you can say or do to make this better right now. Only time will tell how this is going to work out.

I wish you well and don't forget that God will never give you more than you can handle.

Answer 5

Its unfortunate a marriage of 23 years might be ending. However, this is something that you have no control over. You need to let them work the problem out themselves, whether it results in divorce or not. If divorce does happen, you still can let each of them know that you still love them and want to continue to stay close to each of them even though they would no longer be close to each other.

Answer 6

You shouldn't feel like you have to do anything other than continue to support them both through this difficult time. Tell them that you love them both. Their problems are just that, their problems not yours. Unfortunately you are certainly allowed to be disappointed and sad, but don't worry about things, they will work out their own problems. One day, you too will have a life of your own, and have to deal with breakups and heartache, it's just a part of growing up and learning about relationships. I'm sure your parents will be worrying about you and wondering what they can do to help. The truth is there is very little to help with, they would probably offer their support, and continue to remind you that you are loved. That is exactly what you can give to them through this difficult time. Time will heal all wounds, and you and your family will one day work through all this mess. My wish is that it comes soon for you.

Answer 7

I know how you feel.. Mine did the same thing.. after 23yrs. of being married.. If they have already decided on divorce then there is nothing you can do about that. Sometimes these things happen and we cant blame ourselves for it . I did the wrong thing which was worry myself sick about it for what seemed like forever.But now after all these years since they divorced it is still hard @ times. I was already grown and married when all this happened in my family. I was just devastated about it.

Answer 8

Honey, I promise you, if they want to be apart, let them. My mother married a man who ended up making a lot of money when I was 2. He cheated on her constantly for 17 years, but she wouldn't leave him because she and I would have been low income without him. She died when I was eighteen, and all that money that she was trying to protect for me went to his mistress and their wedding 2 months later. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could have had a happy poor childhood instead of a rich miserable one. If they are not happy, let them go. I just hope that they, separately, have your best interest at heart. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You should be helping your siblings and your Mom as much as possible. What happened is not your fault. Don't try to fix it just be who you are and help your Siblings and Mom.

Talk about it with your mother. Ask to see the school social worker so you can talk about it.

Remember this is between your Mom and Dad and it is not your fault.

Good luck

Answer 10

You stay out of it, their relationship has nothing to do with you. What you can do is, be cooperative, help take care of your other sibs, do your best to be positive, tell your parents that you don't want to hear anything negative about the other one, and just let them work it out between them. It will get better, I promise; it will just take a while.