Would You Opt For Surgery if there was a good chance it wouldn't work and would leave you $40,000 in the hole?

Question

I have been in diapers since the age of 5 (am 28 now) due to extreme abuse as a child. recently, I was told that surgery could help me regain some of my urine control (30 % chance) but would do nothing for #2 problems. It would cost me around $40 grand as my particular insurance will not cover it. I'm torn between a chance at being normal like everyone else (for once in my life) and just being realistic and realizing that wanting to be normal, and being normal for me are two different things. Any thoughts or commments would really be appreciated.

To answer the questions that have been asked:.What are the opinions from other doctors?
Can you really afford for the surgery?-I could
Is taking a loan an option for you?-not really, don't like loans.
Can you get help from your relatives, friends or help groups? No to relatives, don't have friends...help goups i havent even thought about.
How serious do you think about your condition? Less than I used to..
If not, do you want to wait for better medical options? After reading some of these answers, waiting is probably the best thing so far.

wetsaways Questions: yes I have both wet and messy problems. The messy problems its possible to fix, but again expensive. As for enjoying my diapers, (i hate admitting this) but to be honest I've gotten used to them...There is still a part of me though that really wants to be normal..in a way, im kind of torn. As for buying my diapers, insurance pays for them, though I am thinking of switching back to cloth, at least while at home.....odds arent good for success (in the urinary part of things) but it couldnt get any worse as I have zero control or feeling as it stands currently........Lastly, wetsaway, you seem like a really super and understanding person, as do all of you who have answered...If I can ever help you guys with anything, please let me [e-mail]

Answer 1

At this point I wouldn't worry so much about the price, that is something that is always negotiable. You need to answer a few questions to yourself before you have to worry about the money.

1. You have worn diapers for 23 years. Are you urinary incontinent or are you fecal incontinent also?

The reason I ask is it is more difficult to deal with having to wear diapers all the time if you can't control your bowels and have to deal with that kind of mess and cleanup on a regular basis.

If you are just urinary incontinent then it is a little easier to wear diapers all the time because there isn't so much of a problem with cleanup or odor.

2. Do you like wearing your diapers? If you enjoy wearing them, do you really want the surgery to fix something that gives you the reason for wearing them without having to explain to every one your desire to wear them.

If you fix the problem then you can still wear them and still wet them if you want but then it would seem to me that you spent the money for nothing. The only difference would be you would at that point have to choice to wear them or not.

3. Do you have to buy your diapers or are they provided to you by insurance or some other means?

If you don't have to pay for them then you don't have that added expense. If you have the surgery to fix the problem and it is successful and you still want to wear diapers then you would have to start buying them in order to have the pleasure.

4. What is the success rate of the surgery and what would be the worse case senario if it was not successful?

If there is a high percentage of success with the surgery and you genuinely want to get out of diapers for the rest of your life then that alone would probably make it worth the chance the surgery would provide.

If an unsuccessful surgery would leave you worse off than you already are then you might want to reconsider going through with it. If it would leave you unchanged then you have nothing to lose by trying except the money, hopefully you have some sort of insurance to help pay for it.

5. And lastly. How bad do you want to get out of diapers? Only you can answer this question and depending on the answer, it should make a big difference in your decision.


By the way, I'm incontinent and wear diapers 24 / 7 because of a medical condition. I know somewhat of where you are coming from. There isn't anything currently to help me. Fortunately I'm only urinary incontinent at this time.

I'm not sure I would take the opportunity if it were presented to me. You see, I also enjoy wearing my diapers very much. I don't want to give them up. All that money would buy me an awful lot of diapers over my remaining lifetime. I wear cloth so I don't have an ongoing expense like you get with disposables.

I wish you luck, take care.

Answer 2

I would if I were you because the procedure will help to alleviate the problem. However, there are many issues that you need to iron out before you deciding on it. You may want to make a list of questions and then weigh the pros and cons of each of them.

Examples:
1.What are the opinions from other doctors?
2.Can you really afford for the surgery?
3.Is taking a loan an option for you?
4.Can you get help from your relatives, friends or help groups?
5.Does your current income help if you are in debt?
6.How serious do you think about your condition?
7.If not, do you want to wait for better medical options?

Note that the examples are not in order of importance.
Hope my suggestions help. All the best to you!

Answer 3

hey forty G's is a lot bub i think if you look around some more talk to more doctors research on your problems more id say theres a better percentage with something but if that's your last resort it depends on your money how much or how little you have got but id say if you,ve got it and cant find no other solution then go for it heck sometimes docs give you the worst case and it will probably help. So good luck my friend

Answer 4

im sorry to hear about your situation. 40 grand dis alot of money, but if you have it and then money to live off of and recover during your time then go for it. but a 30% chance doenst seem that good =( maybe you should try out another doctor and go around and look for opinons and see what they suggest. other than that i would wait to see what technology would be able to provide for you within the next couple years. if i were you i would go and get different opinions to see what they suggest if you havent already done so. good luck. hope things will get better for you in the long run! =)

Answer 5

Dude....40 G's for a 30% shot at success. Bad deal my friend. It sucks that you have this affliction to say the least, but you have dealt for a long time now. Just keep dealing....maybe in a few short years they can give you way better odds due to medical advancements. Good Luck ...!

Answer 6

I don't know what advice to give - it's a decision you have to make. God bless you.