Do you ever say what if?

Question

What if you are unhappy in your marriage but you know that it is best to stay for the children and for him. I love my husband but i am not happy. I wish i would have never gotton married again. He is the step father to my children and my daughter is now gone and it is just me and my son. I know if i left him it would rip his world apart. So i chose to stay un happy to keep him from falling apart. His first wife left him for another man after 18 years of marriage. I have been married to him for 5 years. I have been unhappy for sometime. I have threathen to leave 2 times already cause he is quite and i talk alot amoung other issues. We are kind of like day and night. I wish that i was single again cause there are sure alot of men out there that i find very attractive. and No we have no sex life either. I beleive he is to lazy to even attempt it.We have had som many problems i do not even find hi Would you stay for him and stay un happy? would you cheat and stay with him?

Answer 1

Well if it was me i would probably cheat but i would be looking for a way out in the mean time.I know that sounds bad but hey if it sucks as bad as you say then why not.Your story sounds excztly like mone to a tee.I mean everyhting my husband has been married before to a women for 18 years and they divorced due to infiedilty.ANd ive been with him 3 years and we have a son .ANd mine is like yours in he never talks to me and if i talk to him half the time he never listens,ive been so unhappy for a long time and i tell him and he acts like he doesnt care so what can i do.We do nothing tog anymore and all he does is work eat and sleep.ANd im always home bored to death i have told him many times if things dont change im leaving or im going to cheat i dont care its true and he gets mad and wants to blame me or ignore me as usual.So like im going to do im going to hang on as long as i can stand and if something better comes along im gone,and thats excatly what you should do...good luck

Answer 2

Staying for the children is not a good enough reason. First--talk to him and tell him how you feel. Second, is there any thing that can be done to salvage the marriage? (Did he change that much) You may see men that you find attractive, however, the grass is always greener on the other side until you find the weeds. There are no PERFECT relationships. They all need to be worked at. If you are unhappy, you are making HIM unhappy--give HIM the chance to meet someone who will love him unconditionally. I was in this same situation. I stayed and had an affair--one that lasted 12 years. My husband died--and the man I loved more than life went back to his former wife. I had it all and lost it. Be careful--do not do the affair thing--it is hell.

Answer 3

Why don't you try to express your feelings to him. Do it in the nicest way you know how. Try to make it almost sound positive with your tone of voice. Let him know the reasons why you're unhappy. Express to him that you do care for him very much and that is why you are confronting the problem. Tell him that you have thought about leaving him. Just be as honest as possible without going overboard. Don't sit there and point out every flaw he has. Mix positive comments in also. Just see where he stands on the situation, because for all you know he could be unhappy too, and that is why he acts the way he does.

Answer 4

Staying to gether for the sake of the children, is NOT a solution.
I believe a happy severed relationship is so much better for all concerned than an unhappy household. Believe me, the children will feel it, and suffer from it.
Try counseling. If that doesnt work, then it's time for the big 'D'

Answer 5

well, he probably would be devastated if you left him, he probably has abandonment issues.
but if he doesn't have sex and is a drag and makes you unhappy, because he does not participate in things, maybe he is clinically depressed and needs some medication. at the very least, you should tell him that you love him and you want things to be better for you both and your family, so you want him to go to counseling or to talk to the pastor of your church (or whatever you choose to do) so that things can improve.
you may feel bad because his last wife left him but that doesn't give him a license to mope his way through the rest of his life and make everyone else put up with it.

Answer 6

FORGET WHAT IF. Get marriage counseling and enable some conversation here.
I've been married over 30 years and am a professional counselor. Guess who is seeing a marriage counselor right now to get past a rough patch.
Help yourself and him.

Answer 7

I have this problem also. I love my husband, but as a friend. I don't believe we should have married. I'm scared that "the one" is gonna show up while I'm still married and it will scare him away. I don't want to cheat on my husband. I would never do that. I'd leave before it ever came to that.

Answer 8

In my opinion...there comes a time when you have to think of yourself. You only have one life and you have to make yourself happy, no one else can do it. Maybe counseling might help? But you don't need to stay just to make him happy..he's an adult and you don't owe him. It is your life. Good luck.

Answer 9

never cheat, but if you love him why would you leave? do your kids like him? Is he mean to you? Dose he call you name?Dose he hit you ?when you have sex is it good ? other guys maybe asshole so think about it before you do anything and think about why did you get married

Answer 10

I think you need to seek counseling.