what do you do if your not attracted to your husband?

Question

IM NOT ATTRACTED TO MY HUSBAND. IM 28 AND I GET A LOT OF ATTENTION FROM OTHER MEN. GOT MARRIED AT 18 BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT. IVE BEEN MARRIED 9 YEARS AND IM JUST NOT HAPPY.

Answer 1

get counseling or see a lawyer... one of two choices. good luck.

Answer 2

Talk - Communications is key for every relationship. Either to keep it together, or to start the exit process.

Most relationships go through trouble around the 7 year mark. That's why it's called the 7-year itch. You are itching to see other people and other's giving you attention isn't their attention, but more so your distraction.

Before you ask him if he is still attracted to you? Make a list of what you use to liked about him. Think seriously about how that view has changed. If there weren't anything you liked about him, then you were just an easy lay and got pregnant because you were stupid. Leaving him might be the best thing for him. You having sex and getting pregnant at 18 doesn't bode too well for your smarts to begin with, but that's in the past.

If you did have things you liked about him, has he changed or have you changed? Everyone changes, that's life. Marriages fail because the partners don't want to work at the marriage. Marriage is part of life, and life isn't easy.

Another reason for attention from other men, you are 28. You are probably pretty good looking, and the attention is flattering. Guys heads are turned too when they get some attention from girls. That's why they cheat, they are weak, and don't want to invest time in the marriage. Not being attracted is sometimes mistaken for not being happy and all it is is the familiarity and possibly lower attention you two give to "each other".

If you want to save your marriage and your child's life of having you two as its parents. Here's something that worked for me. Even if you don't believe it, start saying to yourself at least every morning and every evening (before having dinner). "I love this person." Ignore any negative vibes throughout the day. After a couple of weeks, you should see a difference of how he treats you and how you treat him. Life can get better.

You may be too young for this alternative, which is talk to your husband, and tell him you are getting bored with your marriage and ask if he would mind having an open marriage (seeing other people). That might either be your salvation, or a quick end to your marriage. Either way you could get what you want.

Answer 3

If you werent attracted to him then why did you screw him in the first place ? Must have been some kind of attraction at some point in the past or you wouldnt have laid down and spread your legs the first time. Could it be that you have cheated and now your looking for a way out of your marriage, Could it be that marriage isnt the story book fairy tale life you thought it was going to be ? Could it be that your husband is a hard working man that cant spend every waking minute with you and you have become a bored house wife who is wanting to run off with the first unemployed dead beat that pays her a little attention ? Get a f....cking clue lady and grow up.

Answer 4

What about getting a divorce? Your child will not be happy in a family where love and intimacy are non-existant. When couples stay together "for the kids" its usually the worst thing for them. Its either that, or learn to love your husband, because things won't change unless YOU change them! Best of luck!

Answer 5

Getting counseling isn't going to make your husband anymore attractive to you. You can try to start over and see if you can rekindle any of that old flame for him...but if that doesn't work, you should get a divorce and go on with your life. You can't fake it and you can't force it. If you have a child, try to end with your husband on good terms. Communication is key. Best Wishes.

Answer 6

hy gay partners daviie and steeviie hons, hons got kids hons?? think about them first, and you married this guy for eter or worse yo took the vows, you had children time too stop this folish nonene of gawking at every tom dick hairy hons for gods sake you ae a grown womann kids and married for 8 long years hons grow up!1 not attracted too hubby?/ is e fat bald dumpy now hons likev fred mertz on i love lucy hons?? i hate too say it but put a bag over husbands face and like itt or take the kids and hit the highways its clear this marriage is done you have made up mind, leave hit the highways never look back hons!!

Answer 7

There is something wrong with you. Obviously you were attracted to him to have sex with him and get pregnant at 18.

You need to rethink what you were attracted to him 10 years ago and get it back. Maybe if you weren't so selfish.

Ever think if he was happy? Just from the little you wrote, I can bet he isn't.

Answer 8

I really dislike people who do these things, I mean why'd you have sex in the first place, now this is the situation it brought in the end, imagine how'd the child will feel if he/she see's his mommy not in love with his/her daddy but instead looking at other men. A most unhealthy environment for the child indeed, I pray for the child's good will and good health.

Answer 9

I think you already know the answer to this, you just want someone else to ok it for you, so you feel more justified in your decision. No one can make you happy, you have to find your way to God for true internal and eternal happiness. Good Luck and God Bless!!

Answer 10

If you're not happy, leave the marriage. Plain and simple. Well, maybe not so simple since you have a child and you'll have to think about lawyers' bills

Answer 11

You should talk to him and tell him what is honestly on your mind. It's only going to get harder. There is never a right time to tell someone you don't want to be with them if they still love you.