The wife and I have been married for a long time. We are very happily married. I'm in a job where I meet a lot of women (mostly married as well) and every so often I develop a severe crush for a woman. I can become borderline obsessive in my thinking about her. I felt very uncomfortable and guilty the first time but have come to accept it as part of me.
I don't want to act on the feelings at all.
It's happened 3 or 4 times in 20 years.
What do you think of this and have any of you also experienced it? I'm guessing it's normal but I haven't ever asked anyone this.
2006-09-15 16:48:44 · 25 answers · asked by Dastardly 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No Michelle I've never told my wife. I'm thinking she'd be hurt to hear it but maybe she'd be OK with it...
2006-09-15 17:02:27 · update #1
It is very normal as long as you be faithful and do not act on these feelings. You cannot stop your natural response mechanism towards anything. Have you stopped admiring flowers, music, nature, rain after marriage? If not then you can admire beauty - what is wrong? But just be faithful to your wife if you still love her....
2006-09-15 16:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mooch 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
once you're in a courting and nevertheless ought to get exterior interest from adult males to sense happy then there's a challenge. the two your husband is neglectful (as some adult males may be) and you're seeking to fill that void. otherwise your shallowness is so low you won't be in a position to sense solid except you get a reaction from adult males. Or it ought to be a mix of the two. I see the signs and warning signs having been there myself. of direction it sense high quality to be flirted with or have a compliment given. yet a healthful reaction ought to be "thank you, yet i'm married" and interior you should be feeling"thank you, i understand i'm cool, yet i'm not fascinated via fact i admire the guy i'm with" What might you do in the experience that your husband became in an analogous challenge? does not you sense threatened? does not you pick him to to grin and say thank you yet be questioning of you? Are you prepared to risk your marriage for a flirtation? I want you each and every and all the terrific and understand you're walking a unfavorable line.. terrific of success.
2016-10-15 01:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im guessing its pretty normal for men to be married to women and still find other women attrative but just don't cheat or do anything stupid that could cause you to lose the woman you learned to love and married!
But at the same time picture if your wife was attracted to other men would you feel sorta weird
But i think its completely normal!
Have a good life with your wife!
2006-09-15 16:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you people think that the words love honor and Cherish can just turn off all your senses of attraction to the opposite sex ,Of course your going to see Women that you are attracked to but you said the important thing you can see the difference between a crush and and affair a crush is a harmless attraction that you don't have any intention to act upon no matter how strong that attraction is ,it still is just an attraction not love and this guy can see that his commitment to his wife is the wall that holds him true and tall.
2006-09-15 17:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm married just a couple of months now i admit yes i do look and admire the prettiness of other women and i guess its hard resist other pretty women but for me i try to keep my distance because i know that I'm married and i love my wife i guess it only natural to wonder but only in your mind don't let it go any further than that! if you do find your self doing things you shouldn't then don't lead your wife on, but i hope it doesn't come to that! just when you start having crushes try to start thinking about your wife and go home and show her your love for her and thoughs other women will disappear from your mind! I wish you all the luck you could get!!
2006-09-15 17:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by getagrip_25301 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know the feeling, its like you just don't feel the same way about your wife when you first met her, you still love her, but that feeling is gone. But for the people who do cheat, they need to look deep down and figure out why they marry that person in the first place, and maybe all their feelings will come back. Remember all the good times.
2006-09-15 17:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by Girlish 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some of my married friends have experienced this, but if you are wanting to stay and keep with your wife, which it seems that you are, then be careful how much you are around and interact with that crush. Recreate a crush on your mate... that is what my married friends have told me anyhow.
2006-09-15 16:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by mortilyn77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey thats ok cause I been with this guy for about 7 years and I got crush on a guy at my work. Your kinder then I am , I do want to act on my feeling . I know thats mean of myself but hey I am only human .I know all you people out there will say "its wrong" They do not know who I am. Anyways the hole point of all this
Its all normal its ok as long as you dont act on your feeling like I so ok
I hope I help you out in anyway.
2006-09-15 17:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it's normal. Your married, not dead!!
As long as your not acting on this, you are as normal as the day you were born.
It's ok to find someone attractive and feel a "crush", so long as it is just a thought not acted upon.
I would think that it would be abnormal to feel absolutly no attraction to anyone of the opposite sex just because your married.
I do stress that you should not act upon these giddy feelings, but yeah, its ok
2006-09-15 16:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by midlifemommy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well i find that most of us get bored with our every day lives and seeing someone new that we connect with makes us feel better about ourselves even though we feel very guilt about it. I do not think there is any harm in it as long as you do not act on it. I believe the word that you are looking for is Flirting! we all do it to a certain degree i beleive.
2006-09-15 16:59:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋