An ex-bf of mine has recently got out of prison (8 yrs. max security) It was a very abusive relationship that I was in and my first relationship being in. I tried taking a restraining order out but...no luck. He is about 10 minutes where I stay and I am very fearful of my life. What should I do? I have moved on with 3 kids an a new b-friend now but I was told my ex- is still stuck in 8 years ago with a s--t load of anger built up inside of him. I do indeed feel that he WILL come looking for me. I feel deep down that he will come looking for me to try to be with me. He has a attitude that "If i can't have her then no one will." ANY ADVICE!!! THIS IS NO JOKE, PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUS!!!
2006-09-15 16:33:55 · 17 answers · asked by Atlanta's Finest 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The police told me that if he hasn't made a verbal or written threat to me then I can't take out a restraing order. I haven't had any communication with him in 7 1/2 years.
2006-09-15 16:47:24 · update #1
No the kids are not his, they are by my current bf.
2006-09-15 16:48:28 · update #2
I highly suggest that you move to another state with your kids and boyfriend and don't tell anyone but your family and closest friends that you can trust, where you're going.
I know it may seem drastic to you but this is a life or death situation.
A great friend of mine was murdered by her abusive ex boyfriend because she moved on. I kept telling her to move around me but she refused saying that she wouldn't allow him being obsessive force her from her home. And now look, she's gone.
I think this is a serious matter and if the police aren't doing their part, you have to think for the safety of your children and yourself and do what you can as soon as possible.
We all know what happens with obsessive guys; (i,e. The movie "Enough" with J-lo & the book "Every Breath You Take" which is based on a true story of the murder of Sheila Bellush whose ex husband Allen Blackthorne hired Jose Del Toro to kill his wife)
2006-09-15 16:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be found you would move away from where you were when he last knew you, you would not get a phone in your name, you would not talk to the same people you knew back when he knew you, etc.
Sounds like you plan to be within reach of him when gets out and therefore you are more likely to be found again. You need to move and change some things about you if you want to not be found.
Restraining orders only work if the one that the restraining order is against obeys the order and/or isn't so violent that your first meeting is your last. The only way to be safe is to be so far away that he won't easily find you.
Chances are he will find easier prey closer to him before he ever gets you if you are far enough away when he is released.
2006-09-15 16:49:11 · answer #2 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel your life is at threat you need to go to the police and find out what you can do, sometimes they can't do any thing unless he tries something first, but they have new laws all the time, and the next thing I would do is move as fast as I could and since you have a boyfriend I am sure he will help you but the kind of help you really need isn't going to be on here, its with the law.Go as fast as you can to them first and don't wait around for other opinions on here because they can't help you only you and the law ,maybe police survalience,but DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!
2006-09-15 16:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by dchilders_ministerofmusic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All states are different. Check with your local sheriffs dept. of your rights. Have a definite escape route planned in case of emergency. Cell phone if at all possible on you at all times. Moving if not out of the question. Other than that there really isn't much anyone can tell you. Unfortunately he has done his time and unless he commits another crime your in a bind. Good luck, lots of prayers.
2006-09-15 16:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't waist any time at all go to the police register a complaint and have them made aware of your situation they are after all a group that is quite happy to help you if you need help Once they know of him they can be on alert to your call if you need help and they wont argue with you when they see he has a restraining order on him already . but the most important is be careful don't give this guy a chance to catch you on your own . get your guy to check in on you during the day even if its just a call to see how you are .
2006-09-15 16:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my X is in jail too and I have a restraining order but my x dose not care about that he still come around but you have to stay strongen and don't be afraid to call 911 and try to go to court again some judges are cool, and are the kids his?go for no custody>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>tell the judge that some people being telling you his looking for you so they can do the restraining order and that you fear for your life and your kids
2006-09-15 16:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by pinkdivaeight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask the nearest refuge what you should do, they will have the resources in your area to help you and because they work in the field they will have the best knowledge for you. Good luck and I hope your feeling is wrong, take care
2006-09-15 16:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by teneesha2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not need this kind of stuff ,form anyone much less him. you need to call you local PD and give the information to them so if some thing happens you hav a record of it with the local PD.good luck.
2006-09-15 16:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by macki4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with the police,before something bad could happen.Good luck.
2006-09-15 16:38:55 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the cops immediately. Don't give him a chance. Tell them he is threatening you life and he could possibly be sent back to prison
2006-09-15 16:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by angie1977c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋