how can i be more outgoing?

Question

sooo. i'm generally a shy person. sorta. but around my friends. im MORE outgoing. i'm mostly good friends with girls. there are SOME guys that i'm good friends with, but i don't constantly talk with them. so generally, my question is-- how can i be more outgoing, instead of shy, around guys and other people who i'm not good friends with? PLEASE help me. i'm desperate. i really don't know what to do. all my other friends are completely confortable around guys. i feel really..."left out" i guess?

Answer 1

Some ways---
1>When you feel shy,your attention is focused inside your head and body.You can quickly shift ur focus to other ppl by gesturing with a hand from ur body to arm's length to move ur focus from inside ur head to arm's length or further. another strategy is to notice something U see, then something U hear, and repeat the sequence two more times. this gets Ur focus outside of urself.
2>You sud try to be with those friends of urs whom U think are not tht much shy nd are outgoing..they may help u by commenting on how they notice U are outgrowing Ur shyness,they may plant an idea tht might never occoured to u.they can also encourage u to stretch ur comfort zone by doing something socially u normally wouldn't do.for shy people this is often easiest to do in organisation with a lot of structure.
3>U start believing that You'r just as good as everyone else.
4>become happy with how U look.
5>U may dvelop some hobbies which may help u gain self-confidence.
6>just don't worry about ur shyness too much.. it’s prolly easier said than done, but I find when i’m not worrying about what to say next, conversation just kinda flows.
If you’re just missing stuff to “get the ball rolling” (or maybe… to keep it rolling, heh), try doing stuff like… asking your boyfriend the kinda questions you wish he’d ask you. That should start things off nicely. From there, just… talk about whatever comes up. If the conversations getting “dry” and he says something that makes you think of something else (a story, a thought, an idea… whatever), talk about that! If a funny thought comes to mind, dont shy away from mentioning it!
7>Convince yourself that you can
easily be different. For example, when you salute someone shake his hand
firmly and say hi with a loud enough voice, looking at him directly in
his eyes... you'll discover that it will be easier every time you do it.
8>you should become more friendly join
a club at school or just hang out at different places. It will work
9>Learn to LAUGH at yourself.Look at the person you want to talk to,see if they have something unusual on.Say "what an unusual watch or where did you get that watch"...if you are not sure what to say start with what?,how?,where?,when? Use open sentances,so the person has to respond to what you are saying.Always take an interest in them,people love talking about themselves.If all else fails ACT.Pretend you are not shy,eventually you will see that nobody's going to laugh at you when you talk to them.

Answer 2

Thats a good querstion. I was also very shy when I was younger and it takes alot of work to change it. The military is what got me out of my shyness but it still took more work on my part. You have to be easy about engaging people everywhere, from the supermarket checkout, to the line for the bank teller. A nice smile and some quick conversation about the wait, the weather or any number of things can lead to more. You know if a person is ready to engage in some sort of small talk by the eyes. Once you have both looked at one another, say something, gets alot easier over time. I speak and teach in classes of 100 or more people know with ease, and like engaging strangers in conversation, you can learn to enjoy it too. Good luck

Answer 3

u have to force yourself into uncomfortable situations in order to do this. Go and talk to random ppl in elevators, streets, grocery lines, etc. Just make comments about whats going on right now (like the line taking 4ever). U dont even have to direct it at a specific person. Just say "God. This line is taking 4ever!" and most likely some1 well respond and run w/ that. The good thing is if it doesnt go well at least they werent your friend and u may not see them again (and if u do u dont have to talk 2 them) and if it goes well u might have made a new friend. Get your feelings out there. People will listen and respond.

Answer 4

People won't judge you on how crazy you are when you're trying to be outgoing, whether you're shy or outgoing. That's the "in" thing right now.

I know this is totally corny, but just be yourself. That's how you'll make friends.

You don't always have to speak up in class. Just begin by getting to know the people who sit around you in your class(es). Find out their name, tell them yours, see if they do any sports, clubs, etc.

I recently moved to a new high school in a totally different county so the only people I knew were me and my brother at that school. But I tried out for volleyball, joined the marching band, and now I have so many friends that I can't remember everyone's name!

Even if you just go to someone from one of your classes and say "Hey, you're in --- class with me. Want to have lunch together?" or something simple. It's that easy.

Just talk to people you recognize the face of and you'll have it down soon. You'll have too many friends to count!

Answer 5

Be yourself, and love yourself! The reason why most people are shy is because they are afraid of embarassing themselves/are afraid to show the real them. If you love who you are and embrace yourself, then nothing can stop you from being flamboyant and loving it. Just say what you believe, dont be afraid to approach people, be friendly and loving. People dont like fakes, so as long as your yourself in a more outward way, then you should be good to go! :]

Answer 6

well find out what they like buy asking, or just see if there is any thing that they are talking about that you are interested in start talking about it with them. and as far as everybody else try just but saying hi have a friendly face give people that look like I'm a good person to be cool with you know?

Answer 7

Start volunteering call local red cross find out if there is a k club at your school find out when dances are coming help out at them go to dances even if you dont have a date dont make your life the internet get out and get going and life is one day at a time and what you make out of it

Answer 8

the shy thing is a real bummer and you cant really help it.but this is where you have to give yourself a pep talk, grit your teeth and just get in there and once you do you'll have loads of fun and loads of friends.

Answer 9

C'mon Marshmello. Problem solved. It's not that you aren't outgoing, it's just that you aren't "available". First, remember to keep yourself groomed immaculately. Then, smile more and act like you are outgoing.

No one will know the difference and the boys will know by your smile and body language that they can be friendly.

Good Luck

Answer 10

just be yourself whether ur around ur friends or not....guys get sick of hitting on chiks after a while, especially if they're being rejected, so try hitting on a guy you like sometime. nothing serious, its not a matter of life and death, just try to strike up a conversation with him.