Why do feminist consider raising children as a house wife a degradation to women?

Question

I have never understood why the average working woman considers a woman who stays home to raise her children a less than empowered woman. Raising your children is a very noble act and in my opinion a selfless act with regards to your children.

Its funny how one person focuses on my spelling when all I wanted was an opinion on my question. My grammer was wrong!!
At least I exposed the very sentiment that caused me to ask the question.

Answer 1

No position is degrading itself if chosen voluntarily. Not having a choice is what is degrading. So, if staying at home and raising children is a woman's own choice, it is perfectly fine. But if she is forced to do that, then it is wrong and degrading. Please note that forcing somebody into something doesn't only include direct forcing, but also forcing by not providing an alternative. So, the point is that a woman should have a choice, that she should have alternatives. The point is also that she should have the same alternatives (opportunities) as a man does, as men and women are equal and equally worth.

Answer 2

I am a feminist and I resent that you lump us into one big group saying something like this. It is your perception, not what feminist believe.

Here is what we believe (and if you are a woman, you too should be a feminist): a woman has the choice to do anything she chooses. If she chooses to stay home with kids and enjoys it and does not become the "house frau" that is totally dependant on her husband and becomes his slave, great. Unfortuantely, too many women don't make an effort to stay connected to other grown ups and their brains become mush listening to Barney all day long. Or, disconnect from the old man and forget they are not just a mom but a partner in a marriage. And a human being with creative needs that must be met and expressed through work of some sort.

Raising children shouldn't be a "selfless" act as you put it. You choose to have kids, it's your responsibility to raise them. You shouldn't expect to get a medal for having kids. Just remember when they are old enough to go to school, it's time to do your thing. BTW; what role does hubby play in the raising, it is a team effort you know.

I feel it is noble to go out into the world everyday and hope to make it a better place.

Answer 3

Don't put me in this category! I'm feminist and don't think this. Feminism is about equal rights and equal views and respect of what women can do.
That being said, you do have to consider that we are no where near close to the ideal. Prenancy is considered a disability to insurance companies and most people would rather have a maid. In the forties and fifties women's contribution to house and family were considered very important and useful: the problem was that it was the only ALLOWABLE contribution to society with few exceptions (nurse, secretary, teacher). Today we are allowed to choose what we want for our lives despite social pressures one way or the other. No woman I know wants to be told her life choice is inferior whether it's working or raising a family. Unfortunately some people are not self actualized enough to realize that just because someone does not make the same choice, that it is not a criticism of what they do.
Be wary of demeaning the average working woman as you do in your question. You are voicing just as harsh an opinion on them as you see them doing on you. If anything we should be asking this question of men. No matter what they do, they do not face the same scrutiny of life choices like this.

Answer 4

Right on Kazac. Why do we assume it is the woman who needs to be the one to stay home. I'm not sure I'd call myself a feminist but I'm definitely pro-woman.
I happen to be in a selfless job- teaching- you can't argue that I'm in it for the pay. What I do is very important. Raising my daughter however is first. While I worked, she stayed with her grandmother who also lives with us. My mother was also a teacher as was her mother and I think I grew up just fine and very close to my parents.
At the same time I would never consider a woman who chooses to stay home less empowered. It's all about having the choice.

Answer 5

I'm a feminist and I would love to stay at home and raise my children if I could. I, and others I know, don't consider it to be degrading to be a housewife unless a woman is forced to be. You should do some research into feminism before you make assumptions about them. Feminism is about having choices - even for men.

A lot of these answers are fantastic. I'd also like to add to it that I hate that women's choices always scrutinized and criticized and men are allowed to do whatever they please with their lives.
Why is a woman "selfish" if she chooses something that will make herself happy instead of sacrificing or putting everyone else ahead of herself? Why is complete selflessness the perceived ideal of what a good wife and mother is and not the ideal for a husband and father? Why are we not allowed to be ourselves or be happy like men are?
How sexist!

Answer 6

I don't think this is true of most of the new wave of feminists. The movement now is to re-embrace the "feminine"... that means not only freeing up women to do men's jobs, but freeing men to do women's jobs, and recognizing that all the choices available to a woman have equal value.
A lot of feminists now are working for more recognition for wives and mothers--for instance, more financial stability. Why don't I get social security credits for raising my children? If I paid somebody else to do it, they would!
I think a big part of the problem is actually with this finger pointing and hatred that is going on between women, for no real reason. We all have the right to make our own choices, and all those choices can have value. You think that working women call stay at home mothers "unempowered," but I am more than sick of hearing stay at home moms talk about how jealous and selfish the working moms must be.

Answer 7

No feminism supports that men and women are equal and should be treated equally. That's all.
I think raising children is for both parents and a vital and necessary act, however there is an overpopulation so it's not like we need more. If you want noble try spreading sexual awareness to cut down on the global population explosion and spend your resources raising an adopted or foster kid. That's noble.
And by the way most educated women care for their children and rear them - usually the ones who neglect or pay other people are the uneducated. Smart people know the value of those first few years of life. Educated women make better mothers.
Stop misrepresenting 'feminism' It has nothing to do with lesbians or child haters or anything else. Feminism demands equality between the sexes, that's all. Equal pay for equal work for example.
By the way, use a freaking dictionary before you post using a word you don’t know. My mother had a graduate degree from Yale and worked while raising her kids, and so did my father. And they’ve cleaned their own house too. So much for your money hungry, lazy, Americans. A servile womb does not breed free men. And yes, devoting yourself to Your children is selfish. They’re Your genetic material using resources. If you truly love 'children' you would be donating to UNICEF and opening your home to foster kids. If you breed like a rabbit you love yourself and think the world actually needs/ wants More of you. At least teach your children to spell, will you?

Answer 8

Because, at least in the US, people are judged by how much money they make. No one pays a woman to be a wife and mother.

It always bothered me that the feminism agenda was to be allowed to work in a man's world rather than respect for what women do.
But women didn't have any options right up through the 1970's
They were supposed to take care of men and children and be happy about it without any pay or recognition. If a woman didn't enjoy caretaking, what was she to do? A widow with children would have a hard time earning enough to support the family.

Never let your right to do what you do best be taken away. Whether it is caretaking or engineering, do what you love.

Answer 9

If a woman is married and has a husband who earns enough to support a family, then I think it's a wonderful thing to do. I don't know many women who would turn down the chance to stay at home with their children. And if you're someone in that situation, then you should count your blessings.

Because unfortunately, when you're a SINGLE parent, you HAVE to work to put food in your kid's tummy and a roof over your kid's head. Staying home with your kids is only a luxury when you have someone else paying your bills for you.

And hopefully these stay-at-home moms have some work skills, because if they ever get divorced, then they will have to support themselves and their kids. I've had a few friends who got married early, had kids, and their husbands made enough to support the family. But then they got divorced and now they're struggling because they only have the skills to work minimum wage jobs, not have good jobs to comfortably support the family.

Answer 10

Because those days are done and over with.
You cannot count on a man to feed and clothe you.
He may change his mind. Then what will you do. You have no working skills. You can go and get a crummy job that pays almost nothing, get treated badly there, have little or no health insurance, can't afford a car, can't afford day care or a place to live.
Women have to have the skills to support themselves.
It is noble to want to stay home and raise your children but the world today makes that almost impossible.