He claims that he misses me and can't wait until I come home. (I'm deployed) Anyways, when we got married he told me he was going to get me a ring and a couple days before he told me that he wasn't going to buy it because it was too much money. So, I bought my own ring. He told me at first that he wasn't going to wear a ring at all, and now suposedly he is. When I call him he doesn't answer his phone I barely get any emails. He didn't even get a house for me to come home to when I redeploy. He says that when I get back he is going to buy me a car. You know I don't believe his ***, I guess I'm not trying to say does he love me I just want to know why am I still here? Its not love, I don't even know why I married him or why I'm with him anymore. I just think I need to write it down or tell someone so hey why not, I told everyone on the internet, let me thank you all now for your replies, by the way I'm 20 an dhave no kids.
2006-09-15 16:04:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, thank you for being there for me and the rest of the country! Second, he is probably lying to you and when you get back, you need to take care of business and dump him.
2006-09-15 16:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear that you're unhappy. I dont know you so I hope I dont offend you in anyway, but I kind of get the impression that you got married because you were getting deployed. You were scared and you probably wanted to know that you had something or someone to come home to. You may not have even cared as much as to whom you had to come home to, just as long as you had someone on your mind to help you get through the tough times.
Since you are already married, my suggestion would be to wait until you come home and see if he can keep his promises. If he cant, talk things over with him and tell him that you feel he's not there for you and that you need his emotional support. Maybe you guys could use some counseling. If that still doesnt work, you shouldnt have to remain in an unhappy relationship, especially since you're young and no kids are involved.
Good luck and I hope you find the happiness that you deserve!!!
2006-09-15 16:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by hapi82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship takes time. Especially in the beginning stages, unfortunately you guys have never really gotten a chance to explore that aspect. He may love you, but just not know how to show it yet, he doesn't really know you. You are married though, and that commitment should never be taken lightly. As frustrating as it is now, if you really work at it, you can maybe make small steps towards something better. Look to talk to him when you can. Have a heart to heart and reassure him of your commitment, if he is a real "man" he will gladly do the same!!
Good Luck
2006-09-15 16:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by O Jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be harsh, but.... Are you guys living with your parents? I hope to goodness that he doesn't have a girlfriend on the side. Usually when guys don't want to wear a ring (from what I hear) is that they don't want to annouce that they're married. Especially when you're deployed, you don't know what the heck he's doing. It's not like your parents or his parents (for that matter) will tell you what he's doing. His parents won't probably tell you (because he's their son).
Or he might be working his tail off trying to obtain money for your house. But, I just don't know.
2006-09-15 16:12:43 · answer #4 · answered by darkhunterfan65 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanks for all that you are doing he isnt worth your time but you do know that you can live in base housing dont you or qualify for bah,the first clue should have been when he didnt even want to buy you a ring wtf?and you deserve better than that also I hope you are protecting your mil pay while you are deployed because alot of military are coming home only ti find that they are flat broke because sig other either has left and taken it all or wasted it so be careful if he has access to your acct email your fin institution and either disable his atm card or get a restricted access acct so that you and only you can use it and when you return home you will be able to buy your own car.
2006-09-15 16:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me just say that first of all, I am the same age as you and I give you props for what your doing, being so young. But, your to young to be married. And this guy sounds like a loser. You shouldn't have to buy your own ring......you shouldnt have to buy your own anything. Screw him, hes probably cheating on you.
2006-09-15 16:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by andreamjaksa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of All, Thank You for serving our country...Bless you.
You asked if he loves you....but I think that u should look at the other things that u shared...like...you don't even know why u married him. No one can ever tell u what to do, for only you know whats right for you. My mom always told me...to thyne ownself be true. If you can't be true to yourself and know what you want, you really cant expect him too. I'll hold you in prayer.
2006-09-15 16:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by lovnlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank you for protecting our country and my life, number one. 2nd: maybe you were more taken with the idea of marriage than with him, did you marry in a hurry bc you were about to leave? if so, maybe things sort of just happened, they were more spur of the moment and not thought out long enough. but the best thing you can do is talk to him. be honest, tell him how you feel and demand his feelings as well. you can't get anywhere if you can't even talk. good luck!
2006-09-15 16:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by snowbunny83090 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a user, but you know that. the sooner you get a divorce the better, but don't tell him what you're planning or he'll F you over before you get it done. Remember the power of attorney? talk to JAG(i'm not sure they deal with that), your chain of command should be able to guide you , Do it ASAP!!! I'm scared for you. don't believe anything he tells you and act fast. After it's over have as much fun as you can possibly have, I wish you the best.
2006-09-15 19:08:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's cold, he doesn't love you and he might be cheating. he's a habitual liar and you don't need that. OMG! plus he is so cheap!!! get on with you life ...he's an azz and you don't need that. You bought your own ring??!! That Sucks! Red Flag right there, I refuse to buy my own ring and if he doesn't love me enough to get one, a nice one. then please, especially after he said he would and complained about the price. like the old saying goes, 'drop that zero and get you a hero'
good luck!
2006-09-15 16:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by HIRO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋