Here's a story.?

Question

As the mist lifted from the earth and the moon had finally set, stillness was in the air. No noise could be heard from miles around, no rustling was heard, not even a struggle. The sun was rising and the fields were surrounded with a purple light.
Everyone, suddenly, awoke with a start in their mind. A start of happiness, knowing that the night was over and a new day had come. Then they all went back to sleep. All, but one. And she was waiting in the cold mist for the sun to arise, and to bring its infinite glory upon the earth.
She looked out to the sky and saw the purple, the pink, the orange, and the blue. She felt the wind of the great autumn day. The golden leaves flew around her face, flickering in the sun's bright colors.
However when the sun was still coming, it stopped in mid air. The leaves fell immediately. Neither wind nor noise could be heard. Not even a hint of sound. It was as if time itself had stop.
The girl went back inside the castle to find some one to explain this new thing. But try as she might, she could not awake any of them. She ran into the great hall. There she saw a horrible thing.
All around her were statues of guards and men. She looked closer at one of them, and saw that it had color. She touched it's armor, it was cold yes, but as she looked closer, she could she her reflection in it. She then touched the hem of its sleeve. It felt like her own garments. She then touched his face. It was warm and yet ever so cold, like he was frozen. She looked into his eyes.
"Darald?" she said catching her breath. She had one more test for him. She put her ear on his breast plate. Nothing, not even a heart beat. She backed away, her face pale. She guessed what could have happened, but she had to be sure. She instantly ran of, down the hall. Faster, faster. After all no one could stop. She ran for about a minute, when she came to the great gardens Naradomon.
These were most beautiful gardens in all of Land of the Things. There were flowers in all different colors and sizes. Blue Palmadors. Green Jeffrons, and Purple Catalacts. It was also had bushes each bearing a different kind of fruit. There were Purple berries, Orange Blossoms, and Plum Breaches; all of which had a wondrous perfume in each of them. But there was no time to look at the wondrous garden.
Instead she looked up at the clock. It was a second until seven. She waited. Nothing happened. She waited for 5 hole minutes, but still nothing happened. Why wasn't it midnight yet? Now she understood. Time itself had stopped. What was she going to do?

Sorry about the grammar and spelling and punctuation mistakes, I'm working on it.

Answer 1

I like it, good beginning. I think it gives a lot of potential for the rest of the story to develop. Now I'm curious whats going to happen, why time stopped and what is allowing her to move around (this is good).

Answer 2

It could be a prank and the whole castle's in it. What she should do is to play the prank back on them. First she should remove all of their clothing. If they still do not budge, arrange them in the worst sexual positions one can conjure. Not even a wink from the guards? Doll them up like Carebears. You can go dimensions with this approach. Try it and expand your mind! You'll come up with something.

Answer 3

Wow, what a fascinating start. I would very, much like to know what happens. Why in the world did time stop? I would defenitely like to know that. This beginning really caught my attention and I like. Good work. I think it's got potential. :)

Answer 4

Not a bad start! Though, you should try and introduce us to who the primary character is, *before* you get to the end.

What is her name?

Sky

Answer 5

thats not a question honey, i like parts of it though.. and you need to fix your grammar and punctuation a little

Answer 6

she was dead.

Answer 7

~~~Im sorrry,,,,,Just to long,,,,