How can I get my 10 month old to sleep in her crib without screaming for hours?

Question

She is well fed before she goes down and often she gets a head rub to put her to sleep in our bed. Most of the time she just has to lay her arm across one of us to make sure we are still there. If she doesn't feel a human touch while going to sleep she rolls around and screams. When we try and move her, all hell breaks lose. We have tried music, a fan, complete silence, and anything else we can think of. Should we let her scream it out until she falls asleep or is that bad for her emotional well being. HELP

Answer 1

Hi. Had exact same problem at the same age. He was ten months when I couldnt do it any longer. After reading all those attachment parenting articles, I tried the cry it out method. .. In only a couple of nights he was doing much better. Frankly, it's a hard process. He is 12 months now, and it's only now that I can say for certain my son DOES NOT MIND AT ALL to fall asleep on his own. I think he actually started to prefer it. You know like babies like routines? Well, that's a routine I established. It took time, step by step. Some nights I would let him cry it out, other nights I would do it 'as usual'. I nurse, so he just nursed himself to sleep. See for yourself. Use your mother's intuition of how often you think it's OK for her to cry. First time is gonna be difficult, but you cant break it and come in the room, and do like you always do. They say you child will understand that if she cries hard, you will come and take her back into your bed. I couldnt use the harsh cry it out method 100%, had to modify it, make it softer. Actually, the article that helped me A LOT is by Dr. Jay Gordon. Here it is...

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Does she have a comfort toy that she could hold to go to sleep? That could mimic the touch she seems to need to fall asleep. It may get to the point where you have to let her cry it out, but 10 months is still pretty young (it's probably worse for your emotional well being than hers). I've also been told that putting a hot water bottle in the bed can be soothing for the baby You can also lay her in the crib and just rub her back for a while. It will comfort her and help her get to sleep and she's still getting the touch she needs. You can aslo lay her in the crib with some toys and spend some time in her room putting away laundry or something, not for her to sleep, but just to get her used to being in the crib. I tried all of these things to get my oldest to sleep in her crib.

Answer 3

I went through the exact same thing 4 months ago (she's 14 mnths)..1 month ago is when she started falling asleep in her bed without me there. Since she was born, i would lay down with her until she fell asleep. In all honesty, I had problems letting her cry - she would bring herself to throw up; so after a 1/2 of screaming, another 1/2 hr of calming down and then a 1/2 hr soothing her to sleep! Not only was I exhausted, but then i had vomit to pick up, i was pissed off for letting other people's opinions push me to do something i didn't really want to do. I just gave up and took the 15 - 30 minutes it took to lay down w/her until she fell asleep. It sure beats almost 2 hours of screaming and then finally getting her to sleep. Now i just prop her head on a pillow that is supported by two pillows on each side (makeshift that she is being held) use a toy/blankie/ that she loves and soothe her with it quickly, leave the hallway light on, a warm bottle and continue to make "white noises" around the house so she knows ur home. It's all about comfort and knowing i'm there. Place her in the crib, give her the bottle, toy/blankie, kiss her and leave quickly. Throughout the day, when u go shower or just need time to yourself, place her in her crib with toys, books or whatever you let her play with - let her get accustomed to be alone and awake in her crib and if she falls asleep in in the crib...great! let her wake up in it. Repeat this everyday. Once she sees that it's a safe and comfortable place, she'll eventually warm up to it to settle on her own. Even if it's only 1/2 hr a day, the more comfortable she is being in her crib, the easier it will be for her to settle into it at night. For your sanity I vote on the "don't let her scream" side - 1/2 hr of calm sleeping or 2 hours of screaming AND then helping her fall asleep! Good luck!!

Answer 4

Hot water bottle. Try it! Some babies don't like a cold bed, so preheat it.

Our daughter was the exact same way; she would just reach out for us to touch us. We co-slept for a while and then when we wanted her to move to her own bed at around 9-10 months, we actually slept on the floor next to her crib so when she stirred, we could reach in and she would not wake up bc she would feel us. It was not the best, but worked for us. Only took about ten days of sleeping on her floor.

Good luck. Don't let her cry it out if you don't want to.

Answer 5

I never co sleeped with my daughter because once I found out the only reason she liked my bed because it was soft, I put a quilt under her at two months.

I put my daughter to bed and tell her time for night night.

Check on her after 5 min, then 10 min, then 15 min, and so on.
The next night start at 10 min and so on.
After 30 minutes you can pick her up and cuddle her and tell her it is time for night night and start again.

I did this with my daughter and within two days she started to understand and went to sleep on her own.

She is 20 months old and very loving and sweet child. I don't believe that "sleep training" (that is what it is called) has any damaging effects on their "emotional well being". All my friends did it with their kids and they are all very healthy babies, kids, and adults!

It is wonderful once a child can put themselves to sleep and I think it is important for their social development because they learn to comfort themselves and they learn a since of self (that you and her are seperate people).

You can also give her, her favorite blanket, a bottle of water, or favorite stuffed animal. My daughter has two blankies, a pillow, and a BIG Elmo stuffed animal (bigger then her) that sleeps with her every night and a CD that plays lullibies and has a heartbeat in the background.

You may want to try a womb bear, she may like the sound of a heartbeat.

Answer 6

my daughter did this when she was 7 months cause she got used to sleeping with us while we were on vacation. It seemed like she cried for a long time when we put her in her crib but we timed it and after 10 minutes she was quite and sleeping. we left a nightlight on for her. By the end of the week she went down without crying. By the time she was 10 1/2 months she was sleeping in her toddler bed. We would ask her around her bedtime if she wanted to go night night and she would go to her room and lay down on her bed. Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't ever take the sleeping pills route!!

1. They will damage your liver big time and you can get into serious health problems.

2. You will get hooked up on them and you won't be able to have a normal life any more if you don't take your pills everyday.

The sleeping pills industry is damaging our health by capitalizing on our ignorance, and by distracting people from effective and natural ways to deal with this problem. I had been taking prescription sleep medications [Ambien] for over 5 years. It stopped working and I simply took more. Still did not work. Nights were very difficult - medication put me to sleep but I would wake up after 2–3 hours with a strong sympathetic response (fast pulse, pounding heartbeat, wide awake alert). It was a very difficult cycle to break. I was really in bad shape due to lack of sleep.

After years of struggling I was able to cure my insomnia naturally and pretty fast. I followed the Sleep Tracks sleep optimization program, here is their official web -site if you want to take a look: http://www.insomniacure.net

Ohhh..and Good Luck!

Answer 8

My daughter did the same thing! I was told by a good friend about a book called "How to solve your child's sleep problem". I thought to myself when she recommended it - "How am I going to find time to read a BOOK on it!" I just wanted it to stop! So I broke down and bought the book. I didnt want to read the whole thing, so I skipped to the chapter discussing my daughter - needing me, screaming, wanting to be rocked, touched on her head, getting out of bed, thinking it was a game...etc. It took 2-3 nights after reading this 5 minute section for her to sleep through the night. It was a blessing!!!! She is now 9 years old and has never tried that same thing again. This book is great and I will never lend it out - I'm sure I'll need it for my next one! Good luck!!!

Answer 9

I heard this on TV a few years ago, and it's probably in a book somewhere. Do your normal routine, then put her into her bed, and close the door a little. When she starts to cry, go in, do not pick her up, but let her know that you are there if she needs you. Go back out the door. When she starts to cry again, go back in, reassure her again, go out again. Repeat until she goes to sleep. Remember, it will get worse before it gets better. Good luck.

Answer 10

The problem is that you rub her head to sleep in YOUR bed. She wakes up and wants to be in your bed. You must stop doing this FOR GOOD, or she will never stop screaming and sleep in her own bed. Rub her head to sleep in her crib, and if she cries, come in every half hour so she knows you didn't abandon her, and rub her head some more and cover her up. It will be hard for a few nights, because she sounds dead set on sleeping in your bed. If you let her again, even for one night, she'll expect it again, and never stop.