Why am I not in love w/ my husband anymore?

Question

We spend no time together anymore I feel like we are roomates than anything. I have expressed my concerns and told him over and over agian how we need to spend time together and he says I know and nothing changes. We have finacial problems and I have tried to talk with him to get organized so we can get on track again so things can get better and nothing seems to get anywhere. I have lost all hope and have just fallen out of love with him we have nothing in common anymore and are not on the same path so I'm ready to move on in my life. This is something that has been progressively getting worse over the last few yrs. I feel alone. I want to be with someone that wants to share their life with me and likes some of the things I like.

Answer 1

Women get like that as they get older,seek counsel.

Answer 2

I do not know how long you have been married but maybe your husband is feeling the pinch of your financial problems.We as women must remember that men are different from us and will want to find the answer himself.As a husband he probably knows his responsibilities and feels inadequate about not being able to find an answer to your problems

I know that you feel lonely but do not give up on your marriage because of how you feel.Emotions can make us do things we will regret in the future.

Have you ever read Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus.There is a lot of knowledge in there.
Stop moping around especially for your husband to see as this may be adding to his negative feeling of inadequacy.If you have a mutual male friend to him and ask if he can help.Otherwise,
tell your husband you love him.Be his cheerleader,tell him you know that he is trying is best and that you will always be his number one fan.Build his self esteem.You should find some friends and go out or do an inexpensive hobby that you use to do.He may just come bouncing back.It's worth a try

Answer 3

I think you can fall in and out of love with your partners easily depending on the situation!! You can easily fall back in love with him if you try, too many folk give up easily. Now, if you lose respect for him that's different. Give him a bit of a nudge here, go to citizens advice and pick up leaflets with stuff on for divorce, living alone, family support, child support, etc; any relevant to you both, leave them around in various places, see if it sparks him into talking. He may also feel like you do, it could be the finances dragging you both down, go and seek help, again citizens advise, in relationships we bounce off each other, if 1 isn't strong enough then the other HAS to be, don't give up without really putting all you have into sorting this out. If you KNOW you really don't love him, then move on and the sooner the better. I only hope you are not moving to someone else because your debts will follow you and destroy this also.

Answer 4

Yes this sounds like my situation to. Though we are still living at home together we have made the decision to go our separate ways.
I must say when that decision was made we both felt better within ourselves that it was the right decision for us. There is no point in staying in a loveless marriage or one that's drifting apart if you only keep going around in circles all the time and no one wants to make the effort anymore.
Not all marriages are meant to last and these are some of the signs that tells us so. You know within yourself what course you should take.
I'm sure you will one day find the love and happiness you deserve.

Goodluck

Answer 5

I certanly hope u have no kids, mam. I really sorry to hear this. This happens alot, n u know, the chances r that maybe he is feeling the same way, but financial problems can be a b*tch, people can get caught up by it, n u have to understand that he is the man of the family, so maybe he is feeling the pressure n trying to work on it. Man dont realize what girls feel untill they lose them. Give it another try would u, do something special for the both, something u use to do when just married, i know u both love each other, it´s just that u have forgotten it.

Answer 6

I've been married 12 years and am now in your situation exactly. I find little point in carrying on with someone I no longer love. After struggling on for the last few years pretending everything's ok, I'm beginning to feel a little hostile towards this legal union which is serving only to prevent me from carrying on with my life, perhaps falling in love with someone else and being happy with that new person. Sounds wild and crazy, but I'm only in my mid-30s and would quite like to have sex again before I grow old and die-- something that's not going to happen in this marriage.

Answer 7

Divorce him. If your not in love with him anymore the worst thing you can do is try and force yourself to love him and be miserable in the process. Especially if there are kids involved. The last thing you want them to see is mom and dad not happy. Some marriages just don't work. If there are kids involved the both of you just need to sit the kids down and explain the situation. No need to spend the rest of your life unhappy. Move on girl!!!!

Answer 8

A man's first order of responsibility is to his family: financially, emotionally, and on rare occasion, the need for physical protection. Young men today have forgotten the old values, and end up paying a heavy price.

My wife never had to worry about me providing for the family, that is simply our way. If this man was working for me, I would send him back to you with the proper training in a matter of weeks. It sounds like you need a nice Italian boy.

In any event, The Godfather is always ready to listen, if you feel the need to talk.

Answer 9

The last part of your question sounds like how I felt the last few years in my marriage...lonely and unloved. I stayed thinking somehow we could fix things since we have two kids but things worsened overtime to not only emotional and verbal abuse but physical as well. If you have a decent man try to find the passion again because good men are hard to find. I am now in a bitter custody battle with my ex...If not leave...life is too short to be in a relationship where you are unhappy and lonely with no chance at improvement....

Answer 10

if he is not willing to listen to your feelings and concerns and you have tried everything to get him to listen (even locking him in a room) and nothing has changed then suggest that you should seperate and see if that spures him into action, make him realise that you mean business
have you tried to share his interests?
But, if you have fallen out of love with him and you don't think that you can fall back into love with him, then there is no point in going on is there? So go for the seperation and divorce.
Good luck next time round hon. :)

Answer 11

divorce is not the right step to take now pls, am not married yet but about to so if i culd marry a man i truly love and after some years in marriage we start having problems i wont divorce him but i will see to making sure iwe get back on track like before i know marriege can be bitter attimes and thats why you need to marry some one you will love forever no matter what so pls i urge in the name of God try and make your marriage work divorce is not the right thing to do it will affect ur kids seriously and you know men when they have money they feel very bad and downcasted so all he needs is your support and love just rem to pray there is notin God can not do take care and good luck