How can I stop being ashamed of my mother?

Question

How can I stop being ashamed of my mother?

When my mom and i are seen together in public, i feel self-concious and very embarrased. I am not a mean person! i just have some...psycological controlling to figure out.

for example, she picked me up at school today (i'm a freshman in high school) and looked very...dorky in a bright neon green coat. I unconciously cringed. she also speaks very loudly and is quite overweight.

i know it's bad to be ashamed of a parent, but i can't help it! is there anything i can do to stop being so ashamed of her?

Answer 1

I understand what you are saying. I had a somewhat similar feeling toward my mom when i was a teen. As i grew older and got to know her more as a person, understand her life ( the one that didn't revolve around me) I came to realize she was who she was and the only one who needed to be embrassed about her issues was her. I can't control how she act or looks, that's not about me, it's about her and how she handles it. Just remember people aren't looking at you when she is loud or dressed bizzarely, they are looking at her. You really will figure it out in time.

Answer 2

This is not a bad thing, it is a normal thing. Some parents are not as 'cool', have it together as well as other parents. The main things bothering you are her speech, her clothing, her weight right??
have you thought about asking her if she wants to walk together in the early am (when no one is out :)) , maybe ask for healthy dinners, then offer to help her sort and organise her closet and hang some outfits together for her.
Maybe she needs her hearing checked too, you could tell her gently you noticed she is speaking louder and if she has an ear infection? might make her aware of her.

The coat, you could ask to borrow it and then leave it on the bus.

Start saving up some cash now so you can give her a gift certificate for an updated hair style for Christmas. The last thing is look for something about her that you like, maybe she is kind to animals, tells great jokes, is into a hobby you like. Focus on that as a happy thought when things get you down.
Good luck to you!

Answer 3

i know what you feel like...i felt the same way about my dad a while back, but i learned to not care about my friends opinions. But you know what....you can't do anything to change your mom...who cares really if a few kids from school see your mom....is that how you really wanna live through high school let alone your LIFE?> being ashamed of the people who love you the most....it seems like you need to worry less about changing your mother and worry more about changing yourself. Be Confident be proud..those thoughts your having are not what a loving and proud daughter should have of her mother....what would your mom think if she knew how you felt about her? it would hurt her deeply...all because you care more about your rep in highschool....wow how lucky she is to have you....think about it...

Answer 4

Oh, how sad! I remember when my oldest son was in high school I had to go to the school. I parked in front of the building and had to walk in front of lots of windows. Of course, he was in one of the classes. He let me know that night that the kids had made fun of me because I carried a large purse and always slung it over my shoulder. He was so embarrassed. Thank goodness he had the sense to sit down down and talk to me one on one. He let me know he loved me but asked if I'd change purses. I wonder if you talked to your mom, let her know how much you loved her, and asked if you could help her with a diet, exercise, and maybe to pick out clothes that are more appealing to the eye, if she would let you help. You sound like a sensitive daughter who loves her mom but wants some changes that are reasonable. If your mom knows how you feel (just don't use the word embarrassed-that hurts too much) and she loves you she will try to make changes. Remember-she has issues as well with her weight problem. I know from experience as I've always been large but have learned to dress neatly and with colors that don't draw attention.

Answer 5

Wow, what a terrible situation. I think that you should maybe have a sit down with you Mom, talk to her and tell her whats going on. Hopefully she will understand, just don't tell her she embarrasses you, maybe try telling her she makes you feel uncomfortable.

Answer 6

Do you know that most kids at some time in their life are ashamed of therir parents, its normal, but don`t let your mom know, it would hurt her feelings. when your older you will be so proud of your mom,and you will understand that its because your scared of what other kids are thinking about her, its not what you really feel.

Answer 7

just except and love her for what she is your mother