My friend is in a unhappy marraige, shes been married for 25yrs, has 3 boys two of them grown up ,the last one nearly a teenager.
I believe that they have grown apart, as they met when she was very young.
She met a really nice guy, 5yrs ago.
They became very good friends, and at the time was a shoulder to cry on, when things where rocky in her marraige.
She has fallen in love with him, and like wise him, but she totally respects herself and marraige, so does the guy. So its no affair for sure, but DEEP LOVE for each other over the years.
She believes and so do i, that this guy is her Soulmate.
What should she do in her situation?
Serious and helpful answers please, God bless you all.
2006-09-15 14:19:07 · 19 answers · asked by Petal62 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As someone who let his soulmate slip through his fingers 'the old one who got away' so to speak i feel i'm pretty well qualified to speak on this matter, your friend should go for it, this is no crush or immature infactuation but the real thing, not something that all of us get a crack at. She hasn't taken her marriage vows lightly or her family commitments, but perhaps its now time to put herself first.
2006-09-15 15:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
U cant pick and choose when ur marriage vows are convient they are a promise u made and ur suppose to live by them every day.. and in your vows u say to FORSAKE ALL OTHERS.. and im sorry she cant tell by a long distance affair (meaning something that only happens here and there when they can sneak off and get together.. or in phone calls ect if its true love..) And she should know by now, that u dont KNOW someone till u are in an actual relationship daily and "live" together, everyone seems great from a far.. IF SHE WANTS TO BE WITH HIM she needs to leave her marriage and go be with him and stop being a chicken sh*t that is only using her marriage as a security blanket.. and an excuse because she's scared of this new love not working out and that she will of given up her marriage for something that may or may not work, if she totally believed he was her "Soul mate" she'd leave her marriage to seek it.. but she doesnt know for sure, cause well once upon a time she thought her soul mate was her husband, THATS WHY SHE MARRIED HIM.. cause she was in love and want to live happily ever after, and perhaps her marriage would get better and seem less dreadful if she put as much energy into her marriage as she is into this other guy... but if SHE REALLY thinks he is her soul mate why is she denying her "soul" lol.. she doesnt know if he is or not, and shes to chicken to find out cause she rather be safe and secure in a unhappy marriage then to risk it all for this guy.. she needs to decide if she wants him or her marriage, she cant have both..
2006-09-15 14:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She's with her husband until death do they part! She chose him, for the sake of having an affair incurage your friend to reconcile her love to the one she chose as her life partner and sad to say, she must stay away from the new love because it will only cause trouble, pain and hurt on the rest of her family, flesh and blood! Family comes first and is the #1 priority no matter how old each member is. In reality if she stayed with this guy and persued their relationship it would be so depressing on her kids, she needs to go to marriage counceling if she feels more about someone else than her own husband! The truth allways hurts and she shouldn't keep it a secret because the truth allways comes out sooner or later and it is worse if it comes out later!
Remember 1 out of every 2 marriages ends up in a divorce, so ask her If the next one turns out to be worse than before, what will she do then?
I never met my husbands mom because she took her own life over the abusive 2nd husband!
2006-09-15 14:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Baby 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's humorous how someone's' soulmate can die and then they pass and locate yet another soulmate. you would imagine there would in worry-free words be one. Did the different soulmates exist even as the fellow change into nonetheless married or were they created afterwards?
2016-10-16 00:53:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if she has been faithful and intends to stay with her husband then she should tell her husband how she feels. I have full respect for marriage, but, at the end of the day we are all here once, now, I am not saying walk all over everybody to be happy, but if the choice you made is the wrong one, then you can put it right. I guess the husband would say she shouldn't see her soulmate again, but that is when decisions would have to be made. Be honest, be true to yourself
2006-09-15 20:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
would she leave her husband if this other man was not on the scene? would she rather be alone than with her husband?
these questions need to be asked and honest answers given. affairs and divorce are painful and bitter. often people regret leaving their husband or wife for another as statistics show that a high percentage of people re marry the person they divorce after a long marriage. think very carefully!
2006-09-15 19:53:59 · answer #6 · answered by EJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents had something similar. Married for 31 years. Mom unhappy, and tried talking to dad often to work through their problems. Dad refusing to see her side of things, and refusing to do much to help the situation. Divorce brought up a few times.
They had computer problems. Dad had a friend from work look at it. Mom and friend became close, but not a sexual affair. Wouldn't cross the line. Tried to deny it. Mom came clean with dad. Mom ceaced contact with friend.
Things get worse with mom and dad. Mom decides once and for all that she wants divorce. As she is starting to save up for this comes into contact with said friend again. Hooks up. Things get really ugly.
Mom now living with friend now fiance'. Happy as ever. Myself and two younger sisters are all grown. It is still difficult even though we are grown. The divorce is not an amicable one.
2006-09-15 14:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one. If she is truly unhappy in her marriage, meaning they have both made an effort to work things out and it just can't be done, then she should leave the marriage.
Life is short and we only get one spin around. Better make it count.
2006-09-15 14:25:24 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for her for not cheating physically. However it's not fair for any of them. Does her husband deserve to be in a relationship with someone who loves another? Does she deserve to be happy? Does Soulmate deserve a chance at happiness? I'd say choose happiness and love, before temptation gets the best of them and then guilt and regret eat away at them. I hope they find a solution that makes the most people happy!
2006-09-15 14:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by ladypersephone21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a lifetime commitments. Your friend have been married for the passed 25 yrs and has 3 boys. She should go for counselling and dint just jump into conclusions. If she loves her children she shod think twice and try to save her marriage...after 25 yrs.
2006-09-15 14:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋