I have custody of my two daughters.One of them has mosquito bites really bad, and I had put bug spray and skin so soft, etc to prevent them but she still got them.Once she had them I treated them with chiggerex and other creams when none of them helped and she spread them with her fingernails by scratching I took her to the doctor for treatment.They gave her itch medicine and an antibiotic to prevent infentigo.
The reason I am asking is....My little girl who is 5 is learning about alcohol and drug use at school and came home and told me that when she goes to her dads he drinks alcohol, drives, and went to a party with jello that she couldn't have ( which I assume is jello shots). I asked her dad about it he said he did take her there but he left when the ppl got "too" drunk, then he threw the mosquito bites at me. He said that his girlfriends sister is dating a lawyer who seen the bites and was concerned.Our past is one of domestic violence,supervised visits for 1yr,he is intimidating
2006-09-15 13:31:46 · 19 answers · asked by daddysgirl92280 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He knows that my kids are everything to me and he uses them against me.He tries to control me through them.He has a past of abuse.Has been ordered and taken anger management.Had supervised visitation for over a year. he threatened me with the lawyer friend but i have done all i can for her bites and the dr said so also.I send her to the christian school without his help, I am remarried for almost 2yrs now and he still tries to intimidate me and use scare tactics.What should I do? I was only asking him about the drinking because my kids are so important to me and I don't want them to get hurt or be around drunks etc.Especially drinking and driving and when i asked him he got on the defensive and brought up the mosquito bites.
2006-09-15 13:36:23 · update #1
To the few of you with stupid responses.I did put repellant on my children and myself.I did try several things.Also she went to his dads house and got most of the bites with him.I do take proper care of my kids.I didn't want to write an essay on what all I tried to prevent them because most all the smart people got the hint that I used several things and treated my child promptly.Anyway I hope this clarifies that I did try many things, the doctor said some people are just more prone to getting biten(even with proper prophylactic treatment).Thanks to all the sane people who understand that I did all that I could, and answering my question with good intentions.
2006-09-15 15:24:32 · update #2
It sounds like he is trying to get the heat off of himself because he is apparently doing things he shouldn't in front of the kids.Please seek legal advice and document EVERYTHING!Trust me it makes a difference in court if you have documents with dates(been there done that)
2006-09-15 13:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by G M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everything depends on REALITY and not just your story or his story. Neglect is when a person in the legal position to protect or provide care for a child (parent, guaridan, teacher, etc) fails to do so in a reasonable way.
If I were your ex, my question for you is under what circumstances did she get the mosquito bites and how long did you wait to get care if the condition, if in the opinion of the average person was enough to require medical care?
Also, about your daughter's claims... sometimes children learn about things in school and often make up a story that goes along with what they learned at school. I work directly with children and have seen this many time even with otherwise VERY honest kids. In my experience, it happens with ages 5-9 the most frequently. Unless your ex-husband does cause her harm or you have some proof what he has done wrong, you might have a very hard time to prove it. I think it was poor judgement for him to take her to a "party" with alcohol, but I don't think it can be considered as neglect. She did not consume alcohol and you have no real proof that he placed her in danger.
My advice to you is simply care for your daughter the best that you can and obtain copies of all medical and dental visits. By the way, many parents don't take their child to the dentist regularly and this is a way that a non-custodial parent might suggest neglect. Just make a nice file of all the things you do for the medical and dental care of your child. Document everything that shows how you care for her. Document every situation that you feel shows your husband does not provide adequate care for her.
2006-09-15 13:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, the mosquito bites: Make sure u are using a product that has at least 25% DEET in it. This is will be more effective than using a product that has less of this compound in it. This is also effective for fleas. The spreading sounds like either impetigo or hypersensitivity reaction and as long as she stops scratching them, it should heal on it's own. Make sure she's wearing proper clothing and cut her fingernails short to prevent spread of infection.
Secondly, u should take what she's saying about her dad seriously, as this environment can be harmful to her in the long run. Seek an attorney's advice about this and see what u can do to get her away from that environment.
2006-09-15 13:47:22 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a social worker I wanted to reassure you that the lawyer can be concern but there is no way a judge would allow your daughter be with your husband as a social worker I feel that your husband is trying to intimate you and you should not worry however I would document what your daughter tells you so in case you are called to court you can show the judge what your daughter said and I am wondering if this is supervised visits where was the person that was suppose to supervise they are the ones that neglected that for if I was the social worker in charge and I saw this I would have reported this for now be strong a judge would rather have the child stay with you then an alcoholic abusive father
2006-09-15 13:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh please he didnt ask a lawyer about the bites.. any Lawyer worth their salt would of told him he's being petty and stupid an no judge would hold that over ur head especially since u took her to the doctors and can get medical documentation to show that your not neglecting ur child.. he's talking out his azz.. and your letting the controling S.O.B to get to u.. stop!! hes a monster and a bully and like all monsters and bullies.. they love to control and intimidate.. as soon as u start sticking up for yourself and realize he cant do this to u any longer, u have ur own SAFE PLACE your home and he cant touch u there.. so he can run his mouth all he wants and he cant touch u.. go get urself a recording device for your phone and start every telephone conversation with.. This call is being recorded, 1 of two things will happen.. he will either back down and behave while he's on the phone, or 2 he'll act like a retard trying to call ur bluff.. and u have all the evidence in the world to show a judge what an idiot he is, and i guarantee you, a judge would be quicker to frown on the fact that he took the kids to a party where alchol was served to the point that there were JELLO shots, then the fact that ur child got biten up by mosquitos.. Stop letting him get into your head ur no longer with him he can no longer touch u, u have all the power, stop letting him still control u.. (i know i was in an abusive relationship myself) and u know what? all it took was hanging up the phone on him a few times saying "when u can talk to me like a civilized human being i'll talk to u" click.. took a few times but he finally got the picture, and when he tried to throw his weight and scare me with words, i told him to try, told him with his record of a restraining order for domestic violence and anger management classes, i doubt seriously that u stand a chance in hell.. And he knows it.. and so all his threats were empty threats.. so stop letting the monster still win by getting to u.. be the best mom u can be, and do what is right, and u'll be fine.. and put up a wall that he cant cross.. be tuff and firm.. and he'll eventually stop trying to break down the wall..
2006-09-15 13:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I remember those days,I went to Butlins and Pontins as a child,but my mum and dad took us everywhere,and never left us.I remember in the ballroom there was always an announcement "baby crying in chalet 3".But that was probably the 70's and times have changed.The McCanns were in a foreign strange country,and didn't have a babysitter,is the £5 too much for 2 professional doctors who earn about £100,000+ each? Despite the obvious about Maddie,what if there had been a fire,or what if the kids had wandered out in this strange foreign country looking for mummy and daddy?
2016-03-17 21:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is SICK.
Please document all accounts of your daighter telling you about his drinking, driving and EXPOSING HER TO ALCOHOL. Since when is it ok for a kid to be at a party with Jello shots?
He threw the mosquitos at you because he COULD because he was on the DEFENSIVE. I would also consult your custody lawyer.
Some people are just more susceptible to bites. I wore 100% deet on a vacation and even with THAT, on the flip side I looked like I had the chicken pox. Your daughter just seems to be one of those types that gets bitten easily, and I feel her pain! It sounds like you are doing everything you can. You are not being negligent, BUT HE IS!!
and if he wants to play hardball, feel free to play back. HOWEVER - the loser in this situation are the kids... if you two start a war, and it sounds like he is already uncivil, you better believe it will effect them!! They sense the tension, and they get caught in the middle.
2006-09-15 13:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait, he's guilty of domestic violence AND drinks too much but he's accusing you of neglect because of mosquito bites? Unless the bites are life threatening, that wouldn't hold up anywhere. And unless this lawyer knows the whole story, he should concern himself with other things.
2006-09-15 15:03:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all...are you sure they're only mosquito bites? The reason I ask this is that a person cannot 'spread' mosquito bites by scratching. Also, if you're putting enough bug spray on her and making her wear appropriate clothing, she shouldn't be getting bitten. You should be concerned about this because of West Nile Virus. That could kill her.
As for the lawyer threat...as long as you're doing your part....feeding, providing a roof over her head, clothing, school and medical treatment....he's just threatening you. Find yourself a good lawyer and screw his drunk ***!
2006-09-15 13:38:47 · answer #9 · answered by colleenjohn_vano 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, some of us are more suspectable to mosquito bites than others. I don't see that you can see the bites as neglect.
2006-09-15 13:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋