Should I try to get my 8-month-old to go to bed without nursing?

Question

My daughter is 8 months and has never taken a bottle or a pacifier. I have to nurse her to sleep for naps and at nightime. Otherwise, she just screams in her crib. Nothing else works - I have tried rocking, patting her back, everything - she just screams, but if I nurse her she goes right to sleep without a peep. I don't mind nursing her to sleep, but worry that I am setting a bad pattern or that she will not learn how to fall asleep on her own. Will it create a bad habit and sleep problems down the road if I continue to nurse her to sleep? Should I stop nursing her to sleep? If so, how can I get her to fall asleep on her own without all the screaming? Letting her cry it out is not an option. I don't feel good about letting her scream - I think it is okay if she is just fussing a bit, but dont think it is healthy to let a baby scream her lungs out. Any advice or personal experience would be helpful. Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm so proud to hear you've nursed your daughter comfortably to sleep. It is the right thing to do. Your daughter is very lucky to have a caring, loving mother that not only gives her the best nutrition but also gives her the emotional comfort she needs. Crying it out is cruel and unnecessary. Please continue meeting your daughter's needs with nursing. Trust me, if you meet the need she will eventually grow out of it at her own pace. I nursed my daughter for as long as she wanted, and eventually she would fall asleep with just rocking or laying next to me (around a year and a half). My son is 9 months old and I nurse him on demand with the knowledge and experience that he will gradually need it less and less. To make it even easier on you, lie down next to your daughter while you nurse - this way you will both doze off, and you'll get some much needed rest while meeting her needs. Congratulations on tuning in to your baby's needs - she will grow up in to a loving, caring child. Good luck!

Answer 2

I have two boys, they are 4 and 2, and I nursed both of them until they were 2 years old (I'm weaning the youngest one now.. down to one feeding a day, if that!).

I never let either of my boys cry it out, and I always nursed both of them to sleep for naps and bedtime. (We also had the family bed with both of them.. so I could nurse them at night in bed.).

They are now sleeping in their own bed, going to bed without being nursed and doing very fine. This past week I just began putting them to bed with a kiss at night and walking away.. and most nights they stay in bed and fall asleepl It's really been a good time!

I read once that it isn't healthy for babies to cry for long periods of time because it lowers their electrolites? Also I know that if I have a heavy cry over something in my life it ends with exhaustion and a bad headache! I can't really expect that a child doesn't experience a headache after all that crying, and sure they fall asleep but is it a healthy sleep? I know that there are others that don't believe it's a problem to let their kids cry themselves to sleep... but I differ.

However once your child reaches a year or older (I waited until older.. I guess just watch for when she is ready, and when you are ready!) than they can handle a bit of a cry to sleep.. have you heard of the method where you let them cry for 5 minutes then you go to them.. and then you start stretching out the amount of time you go to them.. till they just fall asleep on their own.. but I wouldn't use such a method until she isn't dependant on your nursing and comfort as much.. you'll know when she is ready for such a thing.

I think there is a balance between crying it out and nursing them to sleep. There is a balance, and that balance comes with age. You'll have to decide that balance for yourself.. but I have just finished the baby stage with my boys and they won't need to be nursed to sleep forever... it will end and I don't think you'll teach your baby bad habits by nursing her to sleep. It's easier on you because they fall asleep and like you said it works well for you, and your baby knows that you are there for her and will grow up secure in your love and protection. I think crying out can also create an uncertainty in your child.. especially at a young age. You can probably find a book in your local library that will support crying it out and not letting your child cry it out.. I'd try and do some reading from both points of view and see which fits best for you? anyways good luck to you.. I think you are doing a great job!

Answer 3

my baby is 2 months and likes to suckle to fall asleep as well. I have given her a pacifier only because when she's trying to fall asleep, she doesn't latch properly and it hurts! The good thing with a pacifier is that anyone can give it to her, I don't have to be present and she gets bonding time with daddy too. At 8 months, you won't have to worry about nipple confusion as she is well established at breast feeding. We find if we hold her close to our bodies with her face against the chest, like she was going to feed, she will snuggle in and fall asleep. It is partly the closeness she wants as well. Sometimes she also needs noise to fall asleep, a radio or CD being played is enough.

Answer 4

I used to have the same problem. Our one year old daughter was so used to nursing to sleep, that it became harder to do it any other way. I would have kept nursing her at night, but my doctor put me on meds that advise against doing so. So, we began to wean her from that at 12 months. Crying it out was too emotional for me and hubby had to get up early for work. We gave her a pacifier more often at night. She wouldn't take it at first, but grew to take it. We also introduced a little chocolate milk before bed and after a bath. It just calmed her down. Little by little, she got used to it. Don't get me wrong, she still wants to be nursed, but just pouts now and goes to sleep, not many howling sessions.

If you want to, nurse her to sleep, she will eventually grow out of it. Just do what works for you. Either way, you won't damage her emotionally.

Answer 5

I still breastfeed my 16 month old daughter to get her to sleep, although some nights, if I lie her next to me in bed and pretend to go to sleep, she'll fall asleep, and then I can move her into her cot without her getting all worked up. I don't like the 'let them scream' method either.
If you are happy to continue breastfeeding, then carry on. You don't have to answer to anyone else about this; it';s entirely your choice, and don't let any one bully you into making decisions you know you aren't happy with- my family keeps trying to do this to me, they think that I shouldn't have fed her myself for so long, but the way I see it is that she's my daughter, and it's my body, and I know what is best for her far better than they do.
Follow your own heart and your own instincts.
Good luck, Sweetie.

Answer 6

my daughter is almost 9 month old and I am like you, I nuse her to sleep, at nap time and night time, I don't let her cry for too long, I believe when she cries, she is trying to communicate with me, she needs me, I would do anything to make her a happy girl. She sleeps with me and it's easier to breastfeed her at night laying down.

If you wanna quit nursing, then you can try feed her formula, she needs to be fed to get good night sleep!! I am trying to do this with my daughter so I don't have to nurse her at night, but I don't know if she will take the bottle or not?

Good luck to both of us.:)

Answer 7

My personal advice is to let that baby girl nurse, then once she stops nursing try slippin a pacifier in her mouth while holding her in the same position that you hold her while nursing. You may have to put a few drops of your breast milk on the pacifier the first few times, also hold the pacifier in place until she learns to do it herself. Once she is asleep gently lay her down w/ pacifier and eventually once she gets the hang of it , all you will have to do is breast feed her til her belly is full, give her the pacifier and she will be off to dream land to play with the angels. Good Luck!!

Answer 8

It's your call. If you are comfortable with your established pattern continue it. You can also express milk for bottle feeding -- if you ever want to have some "you" time. A friend of mine just weaned her daughter from the breast at 4 years of age. Whatever works for you and feels right is best.

hugs

Answer 9

I found this EXCELLENT article and it worked. It says to nurse the baby to sleep as usual, feed them thru the nite till the certain age, and the modify the night feedings. Take a look at it, it's awesome!

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Answer 10

As heartbreaking as it sounds... you may have no choice but to let her scream and cry !!! She's already connected the crying and screaming to getting what she wantss..... she cries and screams... you nurse her..... she knows how it works !!!!! Don't worry.. .the crying and screaming will be temporary..eventually she will tire herself out with the crying.and fall asleep .... you won't be a bad mom !!!!! If you choose not to do that... then there is no way you are going to break that habit. Good Luck !!!!