Where to live?

Question

I am engaged to a man who is stationed in Tennessee right now. I will move to Tennessee when we get married but after that I would like to move back to my home state but he would like to move back to Las Vegas where he grew up. His parents live in Las Vegas but none of his other family or friends. I have my parents, my friends, my two sisters, my grandparents, my cousins, and my uncles that live in my state. I am really close to my family and do not want to have to move away from them. I also would not like to raise a family in Las Vegas. We are having a dificult time making a decision of where to live to raise a family. Does anyone have any advice on how to make this type of decision?

Answer 1

Las Vegas is one of the fastest growing cities. It is not all gambling and craziness. It actually has some great family areas. I hear schools are good.

It is hot as hell though. ;-)

I'm sure there is plenty of demographic information on the web.

Answer 2

First of all, you should NOT be getting married.
That's obvious simply from the way you posed
the question. Why is it the number of relatives
somehow makes your wishes more important?
Then you say you don't want to leave your family-that sounds like a huge maturity issue to me. You need to step back and think about what is the most important-you can love someone and still not be a "match" and if that's the case the regret will inevitably follow.
When 2 people commit themselves in marriage
they leave their families and become a new family together. The man you pledge your life to should be the one you'd follow to the ends of the earth. This may just be your wake up call that he's simply not the one.

Answer 3

I don't know, I guess both of you need to figure out what your priorities are. Is your priority to be with this person, or to find a person who wants to live in your state? There are certain important things not to be compromised on, and then there are others that, while important, can be given up for the sake of something else. I'm very close to my family, but for several reasons I chose to move to a different continent, and 13 years later I am still not sure I made a "right" decision - family is very important. Think this one through, perhaps you two can come up with a compromise (something half-way between Vegas and your home state?)

Answer 4

This sounds like a divorce in the making. If you are both insisting on moving closer to your parents, you will have to make a choice about which parents win. This is not going to be easy. I am afraid that your marriage may not work out.

You may need to give this a lot of thought. You already know there will be serious problems ahead. If you cannot work this out there is no future for the two of you.

Answer 5

You say he is stationed in Tennesee right now, where will his job be after your marriage? It is nice to be near friends and family, but having to make a life on your own will make you stronger.
I would say that you go where the better employment opportunites are, but if you have issues with raising a family in Vegas, maybe you should visit there and actually see for yourself what the communites, schools, etc are like.
Good Luck on your marriage!

Answer 6

I suggest you move to your state. You don't want to be stranded with only his parents and without your family for support when/if you are in trouble. This is a matter of your survival. Take your stand and don't give in.

Answer 7

if moving bothers you that much, then if l were you l would not even get married. sounds like your not ready to give up ,the life you have at las vegas, if you truly loved him, you would move, then go baqck and forth on holidays to see your family.

Answer 8

do a list of pros and cons one of the main things would be the kind of jobs you both could get and live more comfortable . some places cost so much. then go from there .