I am in a relationship with a man in Iraq right now. He will be back in November. We began to talk about the holidays right now. Both of our families live in different states. My family has never had a member gone for the Christmas and we usually have a pretty big celebration with 20-30 people at my parent's house. My fiance's family is also going to have a get together with him and his two brothers and his parents. I am used to large family celebrations and will be sad to be without my family this year and also sad to be without. I told him he could invite his family to our house for Christmas but he doesn't want to do that because it would be a lot of work getting five people a plane ticket to my parents. I also mentioned that we could spend this Christmas apart and then start alternating years when we get married. He demanded that I give him an answer now and when I told him I didn't know he hung up the phone. I don't know what to do. Any advice?
2006-09-15 13:08:09 · 9 answers · asked by soulplane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's just coming back from WAR! Go with him to see his parents for Christmas for goodness sake.
This is going to be special and it looks like he wants to share that with you. Why wouldn't you want to go and share in that?
2006-09-15 13:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy does this bring back bad memories.my husband was never in a war thank the good lord by just the same. this year go to his parents house and be glad he is still alive to be home for the holidays. start planing now to get this settled now or forever have the holidays fight of who's parents you will be with. With my husbands family it was a command performance and 38 years later I still resent it. the big speech was family is supposed to be together on thanksgiving and Christmas, yea his family but mine did not exist, my parents were understanding but neither lived as Long as his so i missed out. now that I have grown children and grandchildren they do what ever they want go to the other family or come to my house i will never put that kind of pressure on the kids. maybe next year both family's can meet somewhere half way between the towns you live in or 1 year you go to thanksgiving to your parents house and Christmas at his then switch the next year. good luck i have hated the holidays because of the command performances. should be over them by now but I'm not.
2006-09-15 13:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by basque girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think spending this Christmas apart and then alternate years when you are married is the best idea. Remember, he's got alot to deal with from being in Iraq, and this Christmas will probably be very meaningful to him. He will really appreciate being home with his family. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your time with your family either. Maybe you could plan to spend New Year's or the day after Christmas together.
2006-09-15 13:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alternating Christmas between your family and his is the best idea. Your man just spent a long time in Iraq and God only knows what he's been through. Show him your support and love and spend this Christmas with him and his family. He needs you now. Next year, start alternating between your family and his. He needs your emotional support now, trust me, I know. My brother hasn't talked about Iraq since he got back and doesn't want to.
2006-09-15 13:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by microwaved-brain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a plan now. What my hubby and I did is alternate holidays. If we spent Thanksgiving with my family it was Christmas with his then the next year it was Thanksgiving with his and Christmas with mine. When we had kids we still alternate but Christmas is done at home first then we travel to wherever we are supposed to be.
2006-09-15 13:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anjanette A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could one of the families celebrate the holidays early? We did that one year and it make the actual holidays stress free. On another note, don't let him make demands on you. He sounds like a spoiled brat by hanging up because you didn't have an answer.
2006-09-15 13:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know what its like to be close to your fam maybe you should be at his parent's for thanksgiving and then your parents for xmas. but he really sounds like he's alittle bit too demanding to hang up the phone. and to be demanding answers right away knowing what your fam means to you. and if he really does want to be with you then he would of taken you up on that offer and then once you got married alternate. it is not all that hard to get aplane ticket for 5 people. hope this helps. good luck and if he does not understand what your family values are he will never understand
2006-09-15 13:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him to Iraq for Christmas - your family is the most important
2006-09-15 13:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yall spend christmas with one family and new years with the other. it will even things out this way!
2006-09-15 13:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by tlmorton@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋