Getting divorced is the most traumatic thing you can do in life. My husband just left me three weeks ago because he feels like it is too much to deal with his mental illness and childhood abuse. What's sad is that NO ONE he knows is telling him that he could be throwing his whole life away by doing this! You know why? Because people don't know what it means to stay together through thick and thin. I love him more than anything and I know he loves me too. But he is going to divorce me because it is so easy and so widely used as a form of not dealing with problems and moving past them. I can't stop crying because I know he is my soulmate and I am his and none of that even seems to matter. So much for family values.
2006-09-15 11:26:54 · 15 answers · asked by Mrs. Waiting 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't intend to divorce him, I intend to fight it. But It still makes me sick to my stomach that people are so unwilling to work at things. Also, if you married hastily then it may not be as traumatic, but otherwise it is a loss. The loss of your partner. I'm not saying that I don't agree with divorce, but I just think it's ridiculous that society just doesn't care. Why is there so much shame on abortions then? They should both be something that is a last resort.
2006-09-15 11:35:46 · update #1
Try being his friend? I moved away from my job, my family & my friends to support his military career. One week after I moved to a HURRICANE DEVASTED AREA for him, he left me. He was gone for 1 1/2 months until one day he called me up crying, that he knew he needed help and that he would do anything to get me back. So I told him, he needed to get help. I have been supporting him through this for the last three months and here we go again. Oh, and Monday is my one year anniversary. Happy ****ing anniversary to me.
2006-09-15 11:44:43 · update #2
Ok, heres one you can let him read if you want. True divores are an easy way out but are not always the answer to a problem like yours. I apoligize for your background but to find a woman that is willing and has put up with this and loves you dearly is someone you dont let go of,because Ill guarantee you that you wont find another to replace a special woman as the one you have now. You can get professional help to help you work thru your past and save your marriage. She did not cause your past but is willing to help you get over it. Quit using it as an excuse and if you insist on divorcing this angel,then find a real reason for doing so. You believed in her before you married her so believe in her now and do something that youll always regret and be sorry for. Many men are stupid so dont be one of them. Youll never replace her so think about it, and beat your past! Good luck
2006-09-15 11:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because marriage is used so easily. Far too many people get married at the drop of a hat and/or for the wrong reasons and don't even think about the life to come after the wedding. If the things you say you 'know' are true then it will work out in the end.
2006-09-15 19:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend Dr. James Dobson's book, Love Must Be Tough. I went through divorce and YES I tried to fight to keep him, then I had a wake up call. NOTHING was going to save my marriage of nearly 17 years. The divorce happened and now I am rebuilding my life. Things are very different now and I look at each day in a different light. Yes, it is painful and no I am not being flippant about divorce. It is a decision I took very much care in making. Look at what is going on. What is the fuse? And if the boundaries do not work, there is no respect and the relationship is not going to work.
I wish you well.
2006-09-15 18:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just give him some time to be away from you and think a bit. Once he is gone a while, if he really is your soul mate, he won't cheat, but instead, he will come back and realize what a mistake he made.
You are absolutely correct... divorce is so easy these days and so widely used. What the hell happened to sticking it out and just getting through the rough times together? If you would like to chat some more, I am on yahoo and e-mail, so, either send e-mail to six7@hotmail.com and maybe we can chat some more about this. Sorry for your situation and hope things get better for you.
:)
2006-09-15 18:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by six7foru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we live in a throw away society.. and everything is designed to be bigger faster newer etc.. even celebrity's are so five minutes ago now. Name anything, even perfumes .Remember your mom or your grandma's favorite fragrence? She probably wore the same scent forever, but not now. NEW NEW NEW is the buzzword. And when husband and wife's both work, especially weekends, family values go out the door with them. Remember sit down dinner's ..Sunday dinner with the whole family? Holidays people where home having family gatherings. Now we are working Sundays. Holidays.. so sad really.
2006-09-15 18:32:25 · answer #5 · answered by neelyohara2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's the answer for him, and not for you. That doesn't make it easy...it makes it an answer.
He may feel like he's making things easier for you so you aren't dealing with his issues. Or he loves you so much he doesn't want you to have to put up with it all. Or..the bottom line is, he's in too much pain to be with anyone.
But easy? No.
So, you're going to make his decision more difficult for him? Oh this is really considerate of you. SO, it's all about what YOU want and he's supposed to just cave? Why don't you try being his friend and not his wife for a minute?
2006-09-15 18:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word "divorce" is used by someone in anger that is selfish or doesn't know what to say....they may feel they are being attacked, they may not be able to mentally deal, you know the say "if u love something let it free, if it doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be"...he may need time to sort out his feeling since men do not handle emotions very well.....or there is a bigger plan for your life u cannot see......you know in your heart what has to come....u are avoiding it because your heart is in the way............u are the one to make the decision, no matter how much advice we give to u on yahoo answers, if religious talk to ur pastor/priest whatever...or ur very best friend..........or drphil.com
go graceful and to what u desire.........maybe he is insecure and needs to know how much u love him.....
2006-09-15 18:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by imhogwilde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered your own question Family values are gone for the most part,if you love your man then fight to stay together it also takes two to get a divorce
2006-09-15 18:30:46 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Scientology Booklets about Understanding and Communication, as well as the one
about how to resolve conflicts! Do it!
Ciao......John-John.
2006-09-15 18:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one of only a few that knows the meaning of the word "marriage." Realize how rare you are.
2006-09-15 18:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by maxima 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋