He grates on my every nerve. He is smothering. We've been together for over 10 years. I feel like I am dead inside. I don't think I love him anymore. It is frustrating, because he is so nice. Why do I feel this way? Why can't I love him anymore? I find myself wishing I was single again.
2006-09-15 11:25:01 · 18 answers · asked by hellcat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could be that your just going through a stage.
If your in your mid to late thirties it could be that your experiencing some mid life crisis. This same thing has happened to just about every one of my female married friends at one point or another. Most of them just rode it out till these feelings were over, and some didn't.
ALL, and I mean ALL of the ones who didn't are regretting their decision to leave their relationships.
It's most likely just a phase and it will pass soon enough. If it doesn't then you do need to talk to your husband about how your feeling and see if he is willing to help with the problem.
I suggest talking to him anyway and letting him know what your going through.
Remember, he's your life partner, and if there is something wrong with you then there is something wrong in his life too.
He deserves better treatment from you after all the years you have been together.
Try seeing him in a new light, with a new perspective. Imagine yourself in a relationship where you are degraded and treated badly or "god forbid" physically abused.
Hey, here's an idea, try pleasing him as much as he pleases you. Try giving to him instead of expecting so much.
Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds to me like your spoiled and bored with it.
If thats the case then tell him you would like him to back off being so nice to you. Tell him you would like a little space from time to time, but that you still love him.
Relationships change over the years. You should learn to change WITH it, rather than expect that butterflies in the stomach thing to last forever.
If that's what your looking for then maybe you need to talk to him about that too. Tell him what you need from him, he isn't a mind reader darlin'.
best of luck,
J
2006-09-15 13:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight, you don't love your husband anymore because he is too nice? You got to be kidding me, right? Do you know how many women out there, would want to be in your shoes? Do you always find something to complain about? You should feel blessed and grateful to have someone like that in your life who probably worships the ground that you walk on. Give me a break!
2006-09-15 18:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by cee cee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's too nice I suppose. Spend a little time away from him and things might get better. I was without a job for a while and boy my wife found me annoying. I was always trying to make her happy, but pretty much everything backfired. Then I got a job. Now I work too hard, come home exhausted, and she can't get enough of me. Go figure.
Look for the things in him that you first fell in love with. It's hard being married, because you see the same person day in and day out. But that comes with the territory.
2006-09-15 18:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by Rainier 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a typical woman, that's why. You will let this emotional demon drive him away from you before you will lift a finger to solve your problems (and asking permission to cheat or divorce him on the internet doesn't count). Rather than seek counsel or (God forbid, talk to him about it) you are going to let your inferior emotional stranglehold in your heart destroy two lives, only yours doesn't matter as you would rather have utter turmoil and upheavel than your boring, burst fairy tale of a life right now. Grow-up, the wedding is over, princess. If you want a damn divorce just tell the poor bastard and get it over with. I'm sure his life is no picnic either.
2006-09-15 19:00:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need to ask that question? What are you still doing there, if you have been together that long surely if you don't love him anymore the least you could do is respect him enough to tell him, yes it will hurt him, but at the very least you can both go find love with other people that you can both be happy with.
2006-09-15 18:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Migz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, the more you push away, the more he will try and get closer to you. i just went through the same thing with my GF of 8 years. please do ma favour and tell him the truth. but tell him when all is calm. TELL HIM THE TRUTH that it is over. you are the one after (i dont know when) that will regret, cause you will never find anyone that will take care or love you more. but such is life. and who can understand women!!??
i think you are hiding something, there is someone else in the background. good luck with him, but i pray that you will think of the one you were with, every second, that you are with your new man. suddenly you woke up and taught of your independence and wanting to be FREE!!
man, no value for marriage, what is the use for it then?
2006-09-15 18:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by set d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to do some sould searching. You shouldn't look for your spouse to make you happy ebery minute of the day. You need to find stimulating and helpful things that will make you happy and appreciative of him. You are being immature and selfish. You have an ich that needs scratching and you are trying to find a way to justify it by blaming it on your husband.
2006-09-15 18:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what we both did last year & call it a day & get on with life.
Lifes too short to have regrets in later years & it wont sort itself out.
Its hard to make the break but a year down the line i can honestly say im happy & less stressed.
Only you can make that choice.
2006-09-15 19:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say what your age is ,maybe you are just going through the 7 yr itch,it happens really sit down and take a min and think why did i fall for him . Maybe you just need change tell him how you fill and ask him to help you fall in love again
2006-09-15 18:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
My wife did that to me at about age 39, it was wierd, but it only lasted for about 6 months. I can't explain it, but now we are fine. I just let her go have fun and she is fine now. Feel free to e-mail me or reply maybe we can talk some more about this.
2006-09-15 18:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by six7foru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋