My bestfriend met her first boyfriend at 17. Of courese she thought he was hott. But the guy was a major pot head, a drunk and who knows what other drug he took. My bestfriend did not cared that he did these things. She didnt think it was a big deal. She didnt want to hear it when i told her that he's a bad guy. Mabey in a way she thought it was cool for him to do those stupid stuff.
2006-09-15 11:13:50 · 15 answers · asked by Lorrane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You're a good friend for caring so much but unfortunately you can't always help the ones you love.
Sometimes they have to make their own mistakes to learn. If it makes you feel uncomfortable to the point that it's putting a dark cloud over your relationship with her then tell her: I love you and you're my best friend. But I can't see you anymore. I think your relationship with this guy is wrong and I can't sit here and pretend anymore because I think you deserve better.
2006-09-15 11:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by Izzy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she is doing it too. You can only give her your opinion, and since you have already done that, make sure that she knows that you will be there for her if/when she needs you. Try not sounding so judgemental of him. He has some bad habits, that does not mean he is a bad guy. If an actual drug and alcohol abuser, he will most likely eventually abuse her also, if he is not already doing so. There are different forms of abuse not just physical. How is her self-esteem? Is she pretty independent? emotional, and mental abuse can have more lasting affects on a person than physical due to the fact that most bruises heal within a matter of days or weeks. Mental and emotional bruises can last a life time though. She may have been attracted to that "bad boy" image, & thot it was cool he did those things. Turn him in to the local police as a drug dealer, using anonymous tips or something. Keep your mouth shut to her that you did it though, & do not tell anyone else either so she doesn't find out. You will be risking your friendship with her if you do this. You must decide what is more important to you, her friendship or her as a person. You could have someone else you trust do it, and then you could honestly say it wasn't you. Call a family planning center in your area and ask them for literature on birth defects directly related to male drug and alcohol abuse. Call a family violence center and ask for literature on drug and alcohol abuse related to physical abuse of spouse/partner. Once you have this literature sit down with her and read them together. Even if she says the "typical," this won't happen to me thing, just let her know that if she ever needs any kid of help or support you will be there for her. DO NOT judge her for what she is doing or for any other action she may take. do not let her choices ruin your life either. go on with your life, and be there when she needs you to be, but do not go places with them especially if he is driving. Go see them so you can see her. Just be careful not to get caught up in that game. Above all pray for her and her mental, physical, emotional safety!
2006-09-15 18:54:40 · answer #2 · answered by missouriaunt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be kind to her while still letting her know that this guy is bad for her. Tell her that you care about her wellbeing and don't want her ruining her life with this pot-head. I'd also bet that she'll soon come to her senses and break up with this guy. Be there for her when she does. Good luck!
2006-09-15 18:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will soon learn your friend will do whatever she wants. Just be there for her. That is all you can u do. I had friends that got cheated on and I told them and they stayed with the men anyway and I looked like the bad guy.
2006-09-15 18:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not all pot heads are bad guys, If he's an *** or just worthless, then yeah he's a bad investment...but There's a lot of pot heads out there that have nice jobs, and do have their priorities straight, don't just sterio type people
2006-09-15 18:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So maybe she does think that. Its her choice to see him for whatever reason. If you don't like him then don't hang out with him or when he is along but tell your best-friend exactly that. Yeah it might mean she has to choose between him or you but if you're so insistent that you need to get her away from him then you should stand your ground
2006-09-15 18:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and try to talk her out of the realtionship
2006-09-15 18:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are a true friend than let her find out on her own don't push her into hating you. good luck
2006-09-15 18:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by cosmocutie03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can you do??? Nothing! Just be there for her when it all comes crashing down around her.
2006-09-15 18:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by brenny_boo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whats your point, its her bf not yours let her figure it out on her own
2006-09-15 18:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by skhoury28nails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋