This is what happens when you dont marry a muslim........?

Question

Im stuck in the middle. My mom lets me date and encourages me to date. ON the other hand my dad is muslim and he does not allow me to date at all. He give me the lecture of how dating is bad. He said he is going to arrange me a marriage. Well i tell my mom this and she says not to listen to him (she does not believe in arranged marriages) . My dad says not to listen to my mom. Yikes! I tell my mom that im going to an all girls college to avoid temptation and father will find me a good arangement marriage and i can tell that make her blood boil lol!
But really, i am very confused. On one hand i want to date but on the other i dont because it makes my dad mad and violates his muslim beliefs. Sometimes i wish my mom was muslim, so things would be much easier. But this is what happens when a muslim marrys a non muslim. As for my parents they were not arranged, cuz my dad was muslim MAN so he married a non muslim woman, which is permissiable. What should i do?? HOw do i solve this problem

i would like it if my parents wouldnt have so different beliefs.

Answer 1

Well lorrane Hi,

My wife is muslim and i am christian, and this is techically not allowed in the islamic faith.

But that is beside the point. We are in 2006 not thousands of years ago,I personally think its time for people to wake up and face the real world.If arranged marriges are so good for woman why do we not hear about the same for men. Iv,e yet to hear about parents arranging their sons to get married. So is that fair,ofcourse not.Once again we have people trying to control others.until this stops the world will get worse and worse.

Anyway lorrane.My advice is this.once you are 18 years of age ITS YOU WHO DECIDES WHO YOU MEET no on else. simple as that.Am quite sure your father loves you and wants the very best for you.But LIFE is about making your own decisons.
And finally when you do fall in love.let it be because you are love with the person and forget colour,race or religion.

I wish you luck, take care.

Answer 2

I don't understand.........so you feel like it's OK that your father is arranging your marriage. OK so if I'm understanding you, your beef is with your Mom. Why, because she wants you to be happy, and not stuck in a loveless marriage? You sound very young, and you're probably having problems understanding where your Mom is coming from, if I'm on track. You need to consider how you feel about dating....not what your Dad's beliefs are. You have not said that your beliefs are the same, so I'm going to assume that you're going along just to make your Dad happy. Who's life is it? There's nothing wrong with making your parents happy, but there is something wrong with the whole,"sacrifice everything to make the "man" of the house happy. If these were yourbeliefs, then there would be no problem. Of course you want to date. Nothing wrong there. Why is it always about the man in these cultures? If this is about your Mom, then just tell her that you're perfectly happy and that you appreciate that she's worried about your happiness.

Answer 3

The question looks fake, but I will answer anyway. In Turkey any woman and any man can marry, of course with certain age limits. Religion is a personal matter and state doesn't dictate how to or how not to apply religion in your matrimonial life. For your question about islam not allowing a Christian man to marry a muslim man, I wonder how do you make a Christian man abide by the Muslim law.

Answer 4

Do it yourway. Do not accept an aranged marriage. You really need to experiance the love. That is a purpose of everyone´s life.
What is holy?
What is soul made of?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
LOVE IS. (Don Juan DeMarco)
I have been to Tunis. Women who ain´t marry have house arrests at 9.30 in the evening. There are only men out.
When someone tells you not to do sth you are gonna do it. It is normal to child and parent relationship. You need to live now, not like the people in the past. You are different from your parents. Read what poet Kahil Gibran wrote about the children and parents. Give the poem to your dad.

Answer 5

You should take a decision and be strong!

it seems your mother haven't seen the purity in living like a muslim, and having one husband instead dating many men, and at the end it ends up with alot of breakups which makes the value of such woman lower! so put a value in yourself and stay untouchable. many woman are afraid they will not get a good man if they go through arranged marraiges... why so? i can tell you that we as muslims percieve such women as clean, and the person needs a clean woman! the west don't have such women (or are little), they hardly find a woman which didn't date and most of them commit adultery! so think about your value, your religion, and that you will not take a step to obey Allah, except he will please you, and make you feel happier.

in several aiahs in Qur'an Allah put us lessons about past nations, so that we don't fall in the same things, so don't you see from the community arround you and breakups a lesson?!

hope Allah will guide you to the truth, stick to Qur'an and Allah will help you!

Answer 6

Where do you live ? which country? What kind of culture do u have? how strange!!!!, I am Muslim girl, my father is muslim and my mother too.But None of them think as you father does.I am married Non-muslim. and we have no problem together and everything gets on so well,with each passing day our relationship is getting better and better, as my parents.if your father believes like that , its not his religion's fault its HIS OWN BELIEFS'FAULT, or may be his culture.
and you darling, Just do what you believe is correct, listen to your heart carefully, coz a pure heart never lies.Just be yourself.

Good Luck sweet heart

Answer 7

First of all it is your religion. Get to know more about Islam and read about our profit Mohammad peace be upon him (try to choose a book written by a Muslim so you get the truth).
Secondly, in Islam you only marry a man that you approve. no body can force you to marry a man you dont like. So if you like a man then tell your father about him so he consider him.


Good luck and I hope that you have a fascinating life

Answer 8

listen to ur dad and then do what's best for u. Also let him talk to u about more muslim stuff, u know like stories and Myricales that happened 1400 years ago. And also there is a living myricale which is the holy quran. No one ever could make such book like it, that's 1400 years ago and still no one can right like that. Because it is god's sayings............ So learn from ur dad.

Answer 9

i think you should talk to your mom and dad about it. i think your father should not say that he is a muslim because that kind of marriage is not acceptable in Islam because in islam it says that parents should obye one book and they should be in one reglion because of their children, they both should be muslim or non muslim. for example your problem whats why in islam this marriage is not acceptable your father should know that when he is a real muslim. he should knew that if he marry a non muslim so there will be problems with their children , i would say that its not fult , its you fathers fult when he wants to keep his cultur why did he marry a non muslim. or your mom when she was non muslim then why she married a muslim man, and when she loved him so why didnt she try to adopt his reglion.
so its very difficalt to solve.

Answer 10

The key to this is for you to figure out what your beliefs in life are going to be. Are you going to be a strict Muslim or do your see a different life for yourself in the future? Both of your parents mean well but ultimately this is about you and your life. Sure, one parent is going to be upset but lets face it we all let our parents down eventually but that doesn't mean they stop loving us. At some point all children must become adults and take control of their own destiny and decide what is right for them.