Here is what's going on. My younger sister just came to me and told me she might have an STD. She is 15, and refuses to say anything to her mom. She wants me to take her in for diagnosis and treatment. Should I or should I make her tell our mom??
I am a lot older than her, and have 3 children and don't want them getting the idea that they can go to each other and not me.
I need help!!!!!!!
2006-09-15 10:32:11 · 34 answers · asked by tiggerluv252000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Some more info.... each time she's had intercourse, its been protected, and I'm suspecting it might be herpes, but I'm not sure yet.
2006-09-15 10:37:25 · update #1
I don't think the issue about who she went to is important at this stage. The priority should be getting her examined and and treated asap.
It sounds like she has come to you as she must trust you with this personal and sensitive information.
I have 3 sisters (1 older, 2 younger) and if any of them came to me, I would take her, offer sisterly support and discuss with her why she doesn't want to/didn't tell our mom. I would encourage her to discuss it with our mom as she will love us no matter what we do.
As far as giving your 3 children wrong ideas... do they need to know? Not sure from your question how old they are, but if you are concerned, I would talk to them about situations they may find themselves in (eg STD's, drugs, relationships etc) and let them know that whatever happens to them you are there to help, support and guide them without judgement. Opening the channels of communication can never happen at too young an age - I am speaking as a mom of 2 for this one.
Good luck to you both.
2006-09-15 10:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is alot ot have on your plate. You are older and know more about what your mom's response is going to be. If she is not going to physically abuse your sister, then it would be a good idea to tell her now, and then go with them for treatment to help sister feel more at ease. Take her to your mom or to the clinic but do something quickly and get her some treatment. As i'm sure you know, STD's can have some very serious long term side affects if not treated properly immediately!! Everyone needs someone to confide in, get advice from, lean on other than a parent, but his could be very serious. Does she realize what kind of place she has put you in, and what could happen when your mom finds out you knew about this and did not tell her? If your sister is old enuf to be sexually active, then she should be old enuf to accept and deal with the consequences of her actions. She needs to be the one to tell mom. B-4 or after treatment is apparently up to you, but she needs to stand up and be responsibile for her own actions. Even if it means telling mom, & it does mean telling mom and admitting that she is sexually active, and needs to be tested and possibly treated for an STD. Maybe you should remind her that all STD's are not always curable these days like aids, and herpes. May God Bless you and guide you in your decision.
2006-09-15 10:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by missouriaunt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a very tricky situation. This is what I think. If you tell your mother, you will be hurting your sister's trust. Next time something similar happens, she probably will not come to you or your mother. She would want to deal with it on her own.
If you do proceed without telling your mom and if you are not critical of your sister (not being critical is very important) your children may trust you with their problems. It is my experience though that siblings trust each other (especially their oldes sibling) much more than their parents. It's just the way the whole family dynamic works out.
If it turns out that your sister has an STD, I expect you'd tell your mom unless she specifically asks that you do not. Remember, it is important that she at least trust you if she won't trust her mom enough to tell her.
Good luck. I hope the tests come back negative.
2006-09-15 10:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is 15, and may be a little inexperienced, she may not even know exactly what it would be like to get an STD. Although it was very irresponsible of her, she came to you with trust and security, thinking you could undo her mistake. I suggest getting her tested first, just to be sure she actually has an STD. After that, it's out of your hands. If she has one, she needs to do the right thing and tell her mom. All you can do is help her along with that process...don't do it for her. She needs to own up to it, and it will ultimitely give her more responsibility if she does confess.
2006-09-15 10:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by madmaxi_008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you to take her and not to tell your mom but for the fact that you are not her gaurden your mom will have to be there before they look at her. Just sit her down and tell her what is happening and let her know that your younger sister learned her lesson and she needs her help. As a women she will understand. Your sis might be on a tight lesh for a while. She needs to keep her legs closed for real not to be mean but she needs to save it for her husband.
2006-09-15 10:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by womanofthefire80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should help her out. She's your sister, after all. She went to you because she trusts you. She's probably afraid to go to mom, but maybe more ashamed? Anyway, mom doesn't need that stress.
Your kids don't need to know about this personal matter.
If you seem like the trusting person that your sister goes to in times of need, maybe your kids will feel the same way about you (feel that they can trust you with anything).
2006-09-15 10:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take her to the doctor and then depending on the results tell mom. I am very close to my sister and my mom and my mother believes that it is great that if my sister can not go to my mom atleast she will come to me. I always tell my mom the major stuff but don't betray my sister's trust either. If you make your sister feel like she can not talk to you then who will she turn to when she needs advice and does not feel like going to your mom?
2006-09-15 10:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by peachesgirl1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is serious....TAKE her to the Doctors and then if it is necessary tell her Mom...No use stirring up trouble until you know what is going on. .Maybe it is nothing to worry about but it needs to be checked out STRAIGHT AWAY. Your sisters health is more important at the moment, and get your sister some good council on sex and health...She has come to you for help, help her.
2006-09-15 10:47:57 · answer #8 · answered by Happy-as-can-be 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The immediate concern is to get the girl to a doctor. If your taking her is the only way she will go, then do it NOW.
Worry about the other stuff later. Don't "assume" that telling mom is always the best. I do not know how her/your mother will handle it.
2006-09-15 10:38:36 · answer #9 · answered by veritas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id say dont tell ur mom unless ur sister wants too or you may find it may effect the relationship between u and ur sister. a good thing is she has turned to you for help. If your children know about it make a point of saying if they have any problems they can come to you like ur sister has it may back fire if u tell ur mom. good luck
2006-09-15 10:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by kingvin_1st 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋