My girlfriend is getting a divorce and her (ex) husband has started harassing me (and her other friends). He`s mad that I know his issues, because my friend came to me for support. He`s my fiances friend and, until now, has always been nice to me. I want to be there for my girlfriend, but this guy is being so mean to me and starting rumors about me in our group of friends. Should I keep helping her? My fiance has said no, stay out of it.
2006-09-15 10:22:31 · 12 answers · asked by ALittleLight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should be there for your friend but you should not be in the middle of their relationship no matter how tempting it is. Could it be that you treat him differently now that you know things that were kept hidden before? It does not sound as if he tells your fiance everything. Be her friend but, mind your business.
2006-09-15 10:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy has issues - no doubt. I'm sorry he's giving you such a hard time.
It seems he is trying to make her life hell AND the lives of those that love her and care for her. Don't let him.
Your girlfriend is going through a hard time and she needs you. Be the friend you have been... However, don't go beyond what you are able to do.
I would suggest that you talk to her husband. Stand up to him. Tell him that what is going on between him and his wife is between the two of them, NOT you and him. Tell him that this conversation will be the last, any more will be with a police man. Don't let him run your life. He's angry and he's trying to destroy any happiness around him...
Now, about the rumors... if they have no basis, ignore them. If your friends bring them up, joke about the whole situation. It's sad how he wants to make life such a drag for everyone around him.
All in all, be a friend in this time of need. Stand up for yourself. And don't let the rumors get you down. It'll all come out in the wash later. Your true friends should know better considering the situation. (If you've kept your nose clean, so to say.)
2006-09-15 10:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex is mad because she has someone to talk to and knows that problem. Men have a problem about talking, and that is his problem. I do think you should continue to help your friend. If the ex wants to still be friends with your fiance that is fine. But, it should not affect the two of you. What is happening to them is not what will happen to you. If your other friends believe the rumours about you then they are not truly your friends.
I know most of this because I went through it also, except I was the one getting the divorce. I lost most of my friends because my ex just couldn't shut up and most people didn't want to hear about it any more. But one friend did stick with me and knew the truth and stay my friend through the whole thing. That I appreciated more than anything else.
2006-09-15 10:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be there for your friend no matter what. If she is a true friend you will be there for her. Rumors are just rumors. Tell him to grow up. If you know his business thats one thing.. He needs to get over it. IF you are spreading his business then he has a reason to be mad. But apparently he is just immature and is bitter because your friend is leaving him. Just try to steer clear of him. Dont leave your friend alone at a time like this. Most people really need the support weather they admit it or not.
2006-09-15 10:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet96 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorces are very painful for some people and you need to stay out of it and for crying out loud, do not take sides.
Stay out of it. Some people get back together even when you think it is impossible and that leaves you looking like an idiot..
Stay out of it.
2006-09-15 10:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are suppose to help and support one another. The fact that he isn't mature enough to realize that....well it's his problem.
Some people just aren't mature enough to know that helping and supporting one friend doesn't mean you are picking sides. This isn't grade 6.
True friends stand up for one another when times are tough...
Just my thoughts.....
2006-09-15 10:32:48 · answer #6 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help her deal with getting a place of her own...bank account of her own...lending her your ear when she needs to talk (but not about her Ex), all those sorts of things....that way you can stay neutral and still be there for her in lots of ways.
2006-09-15 10:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by brenny_boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being a good friend by supporting your gf. Don't let this bully intimidate you and his ex into isolating her. What a loser.
2006-09-15 11:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for your friend, but do not say anything about her ex. Tell her you understand her feelings about him, but you do not want to be in the middle. As for him, tell him to grow up.
2006-09-15 10:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by Pauleen M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance is right....Stay away from both of them...they have issues and they are bringing you down
2006-09-15 10:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋