For the ladies...Would you tell him....?

Question

if you came from a dysfuntional family? Why or why not?

Answer 1

Yes, I would tell him. Maybe not right away, but if we were serious I would want him to know about my backround. Not only that, but eventually he's gonna meet my family and see that they are messed up, so it would be better if he has a heads up.

Answer 2

That's a topic that should be discussed with the guy once the relationship is established. If you are serious with the gentlemen, be open about your past, present and future. It won't help trying to hide it.

...and guess what... he probably had one too! Don't be ashamed - it will probably bring the both of you closer. Secrets shared between lovers tend to bring the relationship to a new level.

(now...if he doesn't support you - he wasn't the right guy... move on without doubt)

Good luck, dear! I hope the man you tell will be strong and love you even more for overcoming a hard past.

Answer 3

If you're growing closer, then sure. Bettin' he has his own dysfunctional family stories to tell too...so many of us do. Our families are our families...and what we've been through with them, or have experienced because of them does help (in a small way..sometimes a larger way) to shape who we are on various levels. When you start to grow close to somebody, you want to share yourself with them on an emotional level as well..and our families start to come into the mix about that time. Don't you EVER be ashamed though...no family is perfect. All humans make mistakes and have had problems for various reasons...we are all who we are. No family is without their own form of 'dysfunction'. If you feel you want to share this side of your life with him...do so. He'll probably be very touched that you had.

Answer 4

Yes....He needs to love you for who you are, not just part of you! I wouldn't put it out there like oh poor me, I would just let him know that you come from less than ideal family situation, and that you haven't allowed it to hold you back. That You are the strong and confident woman you are today in part because of it. It will show how open and honest you are and will show how much you trust him with ALL of you. He's going to find out eventually anyways, so better to warn him, than to have it suddenly sprung on him when something chaotic comes up in the family!
Good Luck.

Answer 5

Well it actually depends on how well you know him, trust him, have been with him etc. If you are pretty close then it's something you should tell him immediately you shouldnt wait on it. But regardless sweetheart if you come from a broken home/ disfunctional family he has a right to know. You have to think toward the future. What if you want him to meet your family one day he should be used to them already. Your family is nothin to be ashamed of.

Answer 6

Only if it came up= but come to think of it -all families are dysfunctional- to one degree or another-how well do you know him- and did he tell you he is from a dysfunctional fam? Depending on how long I have known him- and how well u know him- makes a difference- D

Answer 7

Let it out slowly is all I have to say. If you are in it for the long haul then you have a lifetime to share this stuff - no need to blurt it all out in the first month.

Now if you feel that your dysfunctional family is impeding your ability to have a normal relationship - then go get therapy.

Answer 8

Sure! I came from a dysfunctional family and that was one of the first things I told my boyfriend ,now my husband. They need to know what they are getting into! But only tell him if you plan to marry him otherwise they don't need to know your laundry.

Answer 9

I would just so when he asked to meet the family he would already have heads up on how they are. He may also get to understand why you do some of the things you do

Answer 10

Of course! honesty and communication are very important in any relationship!

How else can you make sure the family you start with him is normal and not all screwed up???