Why do people divorce after decades?

Question

I work with this lady, she has been married for 25 years and is now divorcing.

Why would someone be married for decades and then divorce?

After 20-30 years people have been through so much with their spouse, you would think they would be happy together forever!

Do you think people divorce after so long because the children are grown?

Maybe cheating?

Boredom?

What do you think?

Answer 1

For whatever reasons of mismatch, most people endured and hung on for their children's sake, but when they grew up and are able to be independent.
Whats there to hold you back from that miserable life

Answer 2

Well it's a much different world now than it was back 20, 30 yrs ago.
I think in most situations such as u mention, most have been so much with their spouse (not good things).. they finally wake up and decide Ok, this is the day I get outta this mess! I think alot of women that have been married that long were raised with the belief once married, always married... and the way our society has changed over the years that it doesn't look down it's nose at divorced females as much as it used too, couples divorcing after such lengthy marriages are on the rise. Women are much more independent nowadays and more confident in being alone and taking care of themselves.... and yes, alot wait until their children are grown to get out of a marriages where there is abuse, or the passion has fizzled, where both partners have grown apart, or to find themselves!!

Answer 3

Your first idea is a good one I think....the children are grown and now some couples might find they don't have much in common. The way it was, taking care of the kids, working to support them is over and now they are kinda lost as to what to do. Mainly because they were so wrapped up in raising the kids they forgot about one another. Boredom as you said is probably another good possibility. One partner may have gotten set in their ways and doesn't want to do new things or maybe even the old things they used to do together. Causing the other spouse to maybe wonder a bit looking for some companionship elsewhere. Women go through the big change and men have their own mid-life ordeals....and sometimes those people get a little "crazy" for lack of a better word and start acting out, cheating, just not being who they used to be. I think it's pretty wierd when I hear of these stories too....I've been married 10 years in April and am hoping we stick it out to at least our 75th wedding anniversary, ha.....that would put us at 93 :)

Answer 4

I think it is truly sad to be with someone for so long and go through so much together and then divorce each other. I know a lot of people that have done it though. One of my friend's parents have been married 45 years and they are getting a divorce. Why? Because, her husband is cheating on her with a woman in her 20's! It seems like that is the case in most of the marriages of my friend's and their parents that have failed after a long time. It's all about sex!

Answer 5

The marriage was over long before the 25yr mark. I imagine the kids were the reason they would have stayed together. To provide normalcy. I think it is failure to change. Marriage is a partnership. We need certain things from each other at certain times in our lives. Either partner could have damaged the others feelings beyond repair. Probably a combination of many things and not just one....we are complex emotional beings. I think about divorce. I too have been married for 25 years. I have stayed for the kids.

Answer 6

ILL TELL YOU WHY I DIVORCED

my x left me 2 years ago, i thought hed love me forever everything i thought we were working to build for our golden years was gone wiped out
our two year old daughter was killed in a freak accident and he sought comfort in the bakery lady at food lion
after being seperated for 2 years thinking and hoping hed change his mind and come back
i found out he was calling escorts and doing coke and smoking pot then he got fired from his job which paid 90k a year

i just found out the man i married wasnt who i thought he was and i just got tired of being alone and sex deprived all the time
he didnt pay bills and the entire time i felt he was always looking for greener grass on the other side of the fence

you cant make someone love you
and you cant pretend you arent loved

so you just realize time is short and you can do bad by yourself

and you pray each day god will send you a little bit of happiness the rest of your years

that is what i think

Answer 7

Some people feel they have grown apart and that they have difference needs as they once had at the beginning of the marriage. Some people stay married until the children are grown. Or it could be as simple as someone has a wonder eye!

Answer 8

Yes, they can divorce for some of the reasons that you mentioned and alot more as well. Personally, I divorced after 32 years because I learned that I could be okay on my own. I learned that I was a person that was capable of making my own decisions. I was capable of talking and meeting people without someone hanging around watching every word that I said. I was capable of going out on my own and getting an income. My ex was extremely controlling and I wasn't going to have it any more.

Answer 9

I also ask myself the same thing. I don't know how people can get so used to each other and then be able to part ways with no problems. After been together for 20-30 years you would think that they become part of each other and can't see themselves with out each other. It's weird. It could be boredom, cause boredom leads to unfaithfulness and unfaithfulness leads to emptiness.

Answer 10

In my case may be getting a divorce because wife went wild and started doing drugs and cheating a lot.

This after 17+ years marriage

Answer 11

I think people miss the passion that being with someone can offer. Being with someone for a long time can start to feel more like a friendship and a habbit. Humans are naturally creatures of habbit so changing that can be scary but eventually people get bored. We all need some sort of passion and excitement.