I want to go back to Iowa, but I am in a hole. I took a class to be a CNA and I was let go because over staffing. My dad is controling and wants me to get a job at a nursing home, I want to just get any job now so I can pay the 480 dollars for the class and to buy a car to move back to Iowa to be close to my eight year old daughter and my four year old son. Should I do what my dad says? Or should I do what I feel is right? Mind you, I have always failed at taking charge of my life. My ex-wife and my father were always the ones to tell me what to do. When I did it on my own, I failed and they let me know it. Should I just get a basic paying job, and get the Heck out of Arkansas, or should I just get a job at a nursing home and be stuck for 3 months in a contract?
2006-09-15 09:47:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it is bad form to answer a question with a question, but you should first ask yourself these questions. Once you have done that and given yourself your best estimation, evaluate your actual situation. Will a 3 month contract yield the results I want? Will running to Iowa without a dime in your name help the situation? Will there be work in Iowa when you get there? Where will you stay while you search for work?
All of these questions are important in order to decide the next best course of action. Remember, control is an illusion. Any one that says they control someone is under a self delusion. No one 'controls' you unless you allow it. If people are just offering you excellent advise and you are deciding to follow that advice, that is not 'control.' That is merely being smart and using the expertise of others. No one knows it all. Some of us may know more than most in a certain subject or more, but everyone is their own expert of themselves. No one knows as much about you as you do. You have to decide what is best for you in the long run. I can't tell you the best course, I'm not you.
2006-09-15 15:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by Ronisan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an Indian story that goes something like you don't know how a person lives until you live one day in their shoes. Well that applies in this case. Hawaii is an expensive place to live. The money those two made together wasn't much in Hawaiian terms. They aren't rich. And your mother did the best she could to fit in with the plans they set......then you say about your mother that you don't owe her a place to live. Well that could be so but you're not very understanding either. If their lease was up then how could they be letting go of a security deposit? The reason you've been able to save and they haven't is because there are two of them and one of you and perhaps they have responsibilities you don't. But I agree with you that you don't make a lot. Perhaps you should get your degree. You never said what your husband earns so I figure the money that's saved is probably mostly his. What would I do? If I were in a position to help my mother I would do that. If she asked me to help solve the plans she and her husband made together I'd say no thanks. President Clinton once said (probably many others have said it too) that if you've dug a hole too deep to see out of then stop digging.
2016-03-27 03:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pray you will learn to trust your own judgement more before you move to a co-dependent relationship from your dad, to your ex-wife, and then to Yahoo Answers.
Sometimes, we know what we ought to do but do not do it because it is less attractive than what we should NOT be doing.
The responsible and grown-up thing to do, from your explanation, would be to regain financial independence then, proceed from there. If you choose to make the most of your 3-month contract and "bloom where you are planted" - the 3 months will fly by so fast.
You may even find the more decisive part of you while you're there.
2006-09-15 09:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by anieska 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what ever it takes to be with your kids!!!!To hell with your father.Stand up and do something with your life for a change.Make your children your main focus and getting to them your every thought and action.That should be a good enough inspiration to give you some gumption and be able to do what you want and feel not what someone wants you to want or feel.Its your life and your over 18 your a man and you have children grow up your no baby and quit letting people treat you as if you are.Have pride about your self and let your kids see that you are a man who can stand on his own 2 feet.
2006-09-15 09:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to decide.. How is getting the job at the nursing home going to benefit your situation? Because basically what your father is saying is tough it out.
In my most difficult times .. I would hit the bottom and call my mom and she would say..you're already at the bottom..Just stand up.. Made me laugh. Hang in there even if you miss your kids.. it may be better for you to tough it out. If the kids benefit from your experience.. Good luck
2006-09-15 09:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by DearAbby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ive been working for 25 years staight, and every job was "for now". take that nursing home job and get another weekend job and then u will have plenty money after 3 months to buy bus ticket back to iowa. afetr two kids, now u want to pursue a career as a rock star singer in a band??? GROW UP LOSER !!
stop thinking how to get to second base when u cant even reach ffirst. have fun with life and get two jobs..good luck
2006-09-15 09:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dude do whatever you need to do to pay your debt first - if that means a three month contract then fine its not that long and it is a job - you do need to survive- sacrifices you know!!
but after that - RUN - back home to see your kids
hopefully they'll inspire you to do what you've always wanted to do - love is a great muse - when you are financially stable enough, find a passion and go with it - take control
thats what life is all about
2006-09-15 09:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by punkrockprincess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all if you were let go, file for unemployment compensation if your state offers it. Second, find a job that will allow you to live while you go to school. A lot of people take jobs that aren't right for them while they go to school, but in the long run by going to school they met their objective. As for your kids, telephone calls are better than nothing until you can get back to them.
2006-09-15 09:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how old are you??
i think you are a father
and you need to do what is right for you hey if you cant take it at your dads maybe you can crash on someone's couch serious
do what you want you only have one life
and you dont want to keep saying what if do you
ok
then you
need to do what you got to do to go back to Iowa and then bounce
this is your life take control
good luck
and say a prayer
DUDE TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND DO IT
GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU JUST BELIEVE
2006-09-15 10:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by Larelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there . yes do what you feel is right ! it is time to take control of your life . you sound like you have good skills to enter a job wherever you go , and i believe you need to be near your chidren. Its time to get away from your dad also and start making decision for yourself.
2006-09-15 10:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by natasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋