Hi. Iv'e just started working in my companys office and have been seated next to someone who is getting married. I am Married but cant stop thinking about this person in every waking thought. I have stopped sleeping, only 35mins one night, and have lost two stone in weight. We sometimes talk and text outside work and go out at lunch. Have i fooled myself thinking we could be good freinds? How can you stop this maddness??? thanks for reading...
2006-09-15 09:43:07 · 15 answers · asked by ehwave 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you value your marriage, cut all ties with her and keep the relationship strictly work related. If you talk to each other keep it clean and talk about each others spouses - only good things about them, nothing negative. Stop the stuff out of the office. You are definitely too obssessed with this person especially since you are losing weight and sleep. Focus on your spouse and doing things for your spouse. That should help. Good luck.
2006-09-15 09:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by mtv8r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not "madness", just attraction (prob. a combo of physical and emotional). Just 'cause you're married doesn't mean you stop being attracted to other people completely!
Many times, when people work together, that closenes can really heat things up! But are you feeling these things because of the above, or because your marriage is in trouble already? You didn't say. Examine that. Also, IMO, men and women can rarely be "just friends" if there's ANY sexual attraction at all!
Try to do more stuff w/your spouse, like dinners or trips. I had a couple of situations like this. The first time, I ended up marrying the person (and still am married)! The other 2 times...it faded after a while, because I still want the person I married MORE than those others.
2006-09-15 16:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok the first question i would ask is how long have you been married, and how much sizzle do you have in it. Being married dosent mean that were not going to be attracted to other people.
There isnt one person out there if put in the right situation would be capable of cheating. IT is our animalistic nature to be attracted to the challenge or the hunt. When your married everything becomes stagnant and loses it's thrill. We as married couples have to discover ways to bring back the thrill. But I will say this if you keep putting yourself in situations as you are now something will happen. Now Im not saying that is a bad thing. Because sometimes this very thing can be a cry for help without you even recongnizing that it is. It could also be the very reality of you realizing your unhappy in your marriage. You must ask yourself this then you will truly know. Do I need more. Can my husband or wive give me that? What is missing in my marriage that I have to go looking for in someone else? Once you have these answers then youll know if one event of passion with a man or woman you desire is more than the desire of your husband or wive.
2006-09-15 17:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.Look down at your left hand at the ring on your finger and remember how it got there.
2. Look on your desk or in your wallet at the pictures of your children and/or your husband....remember how they all came about in your life.
3. Go home and bring out your marriage license/certificate and remember why you got it.
4. Bring out the wedding photo album and the family photo albums and look at the pictures there and remember how you felt the day they were all taken.
After doing all these things, take one more look at this man seated next to you at work, and if you can't see the wrongness in your even thinking of him as more than a co-worker.....then you need to get a new job.
How was your marriage before you started working in your company's office? If you had a good marriage then...then you should still have a good marriage now. Don't let this "fantasy" become a stumbling block.
You could wind up losing both of them.
2006-09-15 17:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just stop it right now your married and she is about to ,dont even ruin your marriage or hers before it even begins.Just stay away from her as much as you can since your weak and your confused.Dont go to lunch anymore with her just keep your distance i cant feel pity and say sorry because your married to another women and these feelings you have should be felt towards your wife.Take time to find out what the problem at home is instead of worrying about this other girl in which you may not ever even have a chance with.Its just lust and it is a strong emotion but you have to fight it and thats by keeping away and taking more time with your own wife .Have her meet you for lunch instead and while you cant sleep at night over thinking about this other girl have sex with you wife or talk to her to keep you mind on what it needs to be on.Good luck ..
2006-09-15 16:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh for God's sake woman (or man)! Grow UP!
You're married, not some zit-faced teenager mooning over a crush. Stop pretending to be a child and act like a mature person who has control over their emotions and self-respect!
You're acting like a skank- what decent married person text-messages other people and has lunch dates with them? Are you proud of yourself? Would your friends and family think highly of you for this? Would you text this person in front of your spouse and feel good?
You're acting like a child. Stop it. If you can't get a grip on yourself, then for God's sake change jobs. Think about all the people who came to your wedding... and think about all the people who care about this person's fiance. And then there's YOU acting like this?
Start behaving with some decency, some self-respect-- and start acting like a grown-up, rather than some horny old cow sniffing around for a cheap thrill. And STOP with the texting and lunch dates and little chats after work. Just STOP it.
Thanks for reading.
You might not like my words, but you know I'm right. And you KNOW you want to be more than friends, but you're walking down the wrong road. Stop.
2006-09-15 16:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop right now. You are only looking at one side of him and not the side you would see behind doors, like you see with your husband. Ask your boss to move you somewhere else or if that doesn't work, get another job.
2006-09-15 16:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by MiMi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and realize you can't do this. You have focused only on the fatuation and got stuck in it. Stop it before you slip. Fantasy is one thing but you are playing with fire.
2006-09-15 17:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
might not bemuch help, but think of it this way... if you lived with the guy, you propably wouldnt like him as much. You would propably tire of him and want to go back to your darling husband
2006-09-15 16:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Macbeth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Can't stop it, you will probably end up sleeping with him (if you already hadn't).
Just remember, the more time you spend with him, the quicker you will get him out of your system....
So F* him somemore then you will get bored of the same ol' thing, and then finally, just dump him.
2006-09-15 16:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋