and we've lived together for the past year. We moved to an area far from home where we don't know anyone about a year ago but I'm thinking that I want to break off the relationship. I don't want to leave her alone in a strange place and she's in a financial position where she can't move back home right now. What should I do?
2006-09-15 09:15:32 · 10 answers · asked by pimpjoooce 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We haven't been engaged for all 9 years, only the past year. I've just known her for nine years. It's been an on and off thing during that time.
2006-09-15 09:34:44 · update #1
Where is the line between detaching enough to care for yourself, and detaching so much that you put the relationship in jeopardy? This is the wrong way to think about it. There are really two continua. The first is the degree to which you choose to protect yourself. The second, which is separate, is how far you extend yourself to “foster” the relationship. They may interact, or they may not. But I think you need to think of those as separate. Many people in long term troubled relationships place a priority very high on fostering the relationship, and very low on protecting themselves. A lot of people in such situations end up in distress, so there is almost certainly something wrong with those priorities. You need to place a high priority on caring for yourself. Caring for yourself is your most sacred obligation in this world, even more important that caring for your children, and distinctly more important than caring for your relationship.
2006-09-15 09:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you so sorry ?Why would you even have her move with you then?Well what you need to do thats right is tell her how you feel .and tell her since you know she doesnt have the money right now so she can start saving up and fig out what she is going to do.Dont just leave one day outta the blue and leave her hanging thats not right.Why did you never marry her in the first place?WHy be someones fiancee for 9 years thats just too long.Sounds like you werent that sure but you hung on to her regardless and maybe you should of just let her go esp if you had no intentions of ever marrying her.Now you just want ot dump her after you have moved far away and kept this girl away from family and friends?Well you need to stay and help her get on her feet even if you have to help her with money and tell her now dont wait a sec longer you owe her that..good luck
2006-09-15 16:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know how you feel, she may be feeling the same way and don't know how to tell you. Are you wanting to leave because of being so far from home? If so, that's a lame reason. If it's for some other reason, just tell her. But, don't leave her high and dry. You felt something for her at some point, 9 years is a long time to be with someone and not have ANY feelings for them. You may not be IN LOVE with her, but, I'm sure you love her. Talk to her.
2006-09-15 16:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by Golden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be doing her a favor by leaving her. If she is not the one, let her go. She's a big girl and she'll be fine. After 9 years it's either time to get married or break up.
2006-09-15 16:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nine years? Why all of the sudden did you realize you do not like her? It does not matter what you do, it's going to devastate her. Do what's right, get her a car and help her load her belongings and wish her well.
2006-09-15 16:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest you move back to where she came from, then break up with her
2006-09-15 16:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sydney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe a guy named pimpjooooc can't hold down a marriage.
2006-09-15 16:18:46 · answer #7 · answered by nobudE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try asking her what she wants to do.
2006-09-15 16:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest.
2006-09-15 21:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by firemansgirl001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO SO THAT YOU ARE HAPPY. SHE WILL BE OK
2006-09-15 16:16:59 · answer #10 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋