What to do???

Question

What can I do with my 13 year old son that just doesnt care about school this year?? He's not turning in work, the teachers say he paticipates in class and does real good in class he just doesnt do his homeowork, he always says he forgets! I am at my wits in with this and I dont know what to do!! Please Help!!

Answer 1

Just be patient and it's early in the year he just needs to get in to a routine!! He will do fine!!!

Answer 2

I have a 16 year old son so I hope I can help u out a bit! When he was about that age he hated bringing homework home and doing it. Finally what I did was not let him watch tv or on the computer or any video games for the first 2 hrs when he got home from school. If he didnt have homework I still made him bring a school book home to study each night-Monday thru Friday! Then he finally got the hint if he brings home his homework 3 nights when he has it then the other 2 nights he's free to do as he wants! Also I have always used a reward system with him on his grades! For an all A report card he gets $50 and at the end of the year he gets a whopping $500 all his own for straight As thru the whole year! Its hard to keep straight a's so if he can do it- he deserves the reward! Good luck! It doesnt have to be a HIGH reward just something u know he wants or likes! Kerep in close contact with teachers. Have them call u or text you a message to your cell fone on the nights he has homework! That way u know for sure he has it and finishes it!

Answer 3

Homework typically counts for 20-33% of the overall grade. If he is doing well on tests and quizzes, he may think that he can slide by and blow off the homework. Kids this age tend to rationalize - and know what the bare minimum is that they have to achieve to get by. You didn't specify, but shall I assume he is getting passing grades? Perhaps he isn't challenged enough with the material - and is bored? Or, if his grades are marginal - perhaps he isn't retaining the material after class is done, and therefore cannot complete the homework? Is there a confidence issue? Or, is he just lazy? Only you know your child best.

Assuming that there are no learning disabilities, setting a routine may help. Snack and homework immediately after school are the rules in my home. If the homework isn't done, then my girls don't go outside, talk to friends on the phone, watch TV, use the computer, etc. I have found that if they wait till later in the evening to try to do it, they are tired, and put less effort into it.

Let him know that slacking off now will affect his ability to do well in the higher grades, where grades are important when it comes to preparing for and applying to college. Be supportive, give him the opportunity to tell you if he is having trouble - so that he can get extra support. There is a fine line between expressing interest and nagging. He needs to know that you are genuinely interested in helping him to succeed.

Answer 4

If he does not do his homework then ground him for a weekend (meaning no friends, phone calls or computer). Explain clearly the new rule. Do not give him any warnings or chances. Tell him what will happen if he forgets. After a weekend or two of isolation I bet his memory will improve. This may seem tough, but this is the beginning of a new school year and you don't want bad habits to begin now. At 13 he needs to be accountable for his own actions. These years are building blocks for the man he will become.

Answer 5

If homework is part of his responsibilities, and he is not meeting them, you have grounds for consequences. They should be swift and appropriate to time management because that is probably what the problem is. I have always told my kids "If they won't manage their time someone else will". It's true in life so I make them accountable ASAP.

If on the other hand you have a willful child on your hands and he wouldn't do his homework if George W. Clinton was telling him to do it....It's time for a blackout...IE, no TV, computer, phone, outside, mattress, video games, friends...get the point. You are the parent and get to define his priorities, not the other way around.
I would recommend encouragement and time management help to start...but be prepared if you are a committed parent

Answer 6

The rule in our house is......
After school: snack, chores, homework!!!! IN THAT ORDER..
Homework is not done, no t.v., no video games, no playing outside, no phone calls, NO NOTHING!!!!
They do NOT have computers in their rooms, they do NOT have t.v.s in their rooms or video games. They do their homework in the kitchen or in the dining room where I can be sure that is what they are doing. I am not a slave driver, but they know VERY WELL that they can joke around & pester each other, but in the end the homework WILL BE DONE!!!!!! NO exceptions, NO excuses!!!!
The computers they use are laptops that are kept in their dad's office. They bring them out to do their homework as needed. They are allowed to play on them & email, but they need me to enter the password to allow them onto the internet.
Their video games are in the family room & they get 1 hour with those before bed IF their homework is done!!!!
Simple, clearly defined. There are times when they hassle me & their dad about this, but they KNOW us.....
There will be homework completed ON Friday so that there is no mad dash on Sunday night. This also leaves our weekends open for family activities or so the boys can do things with their friends.
Their school things are all kept together in their backpacks, so in the morning they have their homework, etc. already to go when they are.

Answer 7

Most schools have sign-off sheets which you can require your son to complete. EVERY DAY, each of his teachers will write down his assignments and additional comments which they deem necessary. EVERY DAY, ***YOU*** have to make sure he does the work. When he turns in the completed, SIGNED, sheet at the end of the week, he will get a new one. This way YOU can take responsibility for your own son. YOU can require him to continue with these sheets as long as YOU feel it is necessary.

You must teach your son that he must do what he is supposed to do before he can do what he wants to do. He must be taught that he must take care of his responsibilities in order to earn more privileges.

Answer 8

Make sure every night you talk to him about what he did at school that day and ask if he has homework? If he does sit down with him and make sure he does it. What is he doing that makes him say he "forgets?" Is he playing video games, watching tv? You need to be on top of this stuff and make sure he is finishing assignments and turning them in. Keep in close contact with his teachers. School is so important.

Answer 9

Check that he's done his homework every night. Make him write what the homework assignments are for the night and check off each one when he's completed it. My daughter was the same way last year and I just made it a nightly routine to be on her to make sure she did it. I also kept in constant contact with her teachers in between report cards and progress reports to make sure that she had been turning her work in.

Good luck!

Answer 10

If you are able to, in relaxed conversation, try to draw your son out. Remember that this is a difficult age for him. His mood swings can really throw you (even himself) off balance. He will try to shut you out but, with love and perseverance, he will let you know. Your offer to talk with him and LISTEN may be just what he is waiting for.

Caution, there are some things he may not feel at ease opening up to you about... "male stuff". Is there anyone in whom he can safely confide and through whom you can reach your son?

Your creativity in bridging the "communication gap" between you is directly proportional to your commitment and love for your son.

Answer 11

I think he's bored, if he's doing well in class that goes to show that he knows the material... not turning in homework.. he's bored with the subject material.. i'd have him tested as he may need to be put in some more advanced classes to retain his interest.. I think if children are being challenged to their full abilities they won't lose interest in school work.