My girlfriend told me the other day that she's having a baby and of course i was shocked and upset b/c she had cheated but then when i asked her who the baby's father was she told me it was my brother. Now i don't know what to do b/c i really love her and want to support her but i don't trust her now and i hate my brother and if i stayed with her i would have to bring up my brothers baby which i will find impossible to do. What do you think i should do?
2006-09-15 08:31:06 · 49 answers · asked by Busty Blonde 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
And if this is serious? Dump her no-good @$$ and skip the family reunions!
2006-09-15 08:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey Busty Blonde. Sorry to hear bout what happened. But there's always a reason for everything that happens. I agree with what Randy W said. Just go ahead and read again what he said.
THink of this not as betrayal but an opportunity for you to raise your own child with the same blodd as you and your girl friend have. The one big mistake here is that there was no authorization asked from your side of the story for what happened. THat's why you feel betrayed. The 3 of you should talk about this. ANd if you and your gf patch up, you and your bro shud decide with legal matters as to who will be considered legal parents for the baby. Wether you or your bro will be the father. I've watched QAF and learned how easier it is for lesbians to have a baby compared to gay couples. THink of this as a blessing in disguise. We cannot erase the fact that your brother is the biological father. But sex is mainly for reproduction (in the bible) so just dont dig in to that thought deeper so you won't feel bad. If your brother agrees to let you and your gf have the baby. Then there should be a legal written document on his rights as the biological father and you&your gf as the legal parents.
Hope everything is ok.
2006-09-15 12:26:00 · answer #2 · answered by pinoy_rockstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well reguarless she is now tied to your family. If you dont stay with her than her baby will be your niece or nephew. So she will be tied to your family anyway. The fact that she cheated on you with your brother is not something I would want for my life. I would know I deserve more than that from a life partner.. If she really loved you she would have never cheated, To top it off with your brother. IF you feel that is the meaning of love I feel very sorry for you. To blame your brother if even more pathedic. I think you should dump her, and move on with your life. If you wanted to raise a family maybe you should find a partner
2006-09-15 11:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not at all sure how a lesbians mind works, but I'll assume that this relationship you have with a member of the same sex is more or less the same as a 'normal' male female relationship?? Except of course that you cant give your g/f a child!!
Now the very little I do believe I understand is that dedicated homosexual couples want to bring up children??(perhaps I'm wrong)??
"I really love her and want to support her" you say ?? "But"!!
I would have thought this would be an ideal 'family' the child has the same genes that you have, you cant give your g/f a child, why cant you all' live happily ever after' ??
2006-09-15 08:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG. Total betrayal of trust on both sides. Number 1...it was so f***ed up that ur own brother would have sex, unprotected nonetheless, with ur girlfriend. Number 2...ur girlfriend had sex with ur own brother!
But, im gonna hav 2 say that mayb u should 4give ur girlfriend. It is possible that she was confused about her orientation. Maybe she...wasn't even sure that she was homosexual at all. Or maybe she even had sex with ur brother bcuz it was a "spurr of the moment" kind of thing. Temptation can be a very powerful thing. Perhaps...she felt that she really was hetero. and had a sudden desire to have sex with a male, even if it was ur brother.
If she decides 2 go thru with having the child, u 2 will hav 2 discuss ur options.
1. Are you still interested in having a relationship with her?
2. Is she still interested in having a relationship with u?
3. Is she planning on raising the child on her own? Or will she give the father custody?
4. If she still desires to keep the child, and still hav a relationship with u, do u luv her enough to raise the child? Will u 4give her, and luv her enough 2 raise the child as ur own?
5. Will u ever 4give ur brother? Evry1 makes mistakes...
6. If u do decide 2 raise the child, will u still luv it fully, despite the fact that itz father is ur brother?
I hope i hav been sum sort of help 2 u...i really do. Good luck with ur relationships, and if u choose to raise the child, good luck as a parent!
2006-09-15 08:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by bonca 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats an awful predicament to be in. First you have to deal with the betrayal of your girlfriend, thats harsh. But to be unfaithful with your own brother is unforgiveable. Im sure she maybe thought that it would give the child a better chance of looking like a mixture of you both but still its not on.
Did you have a previously good relationship with your brother? I dont get on with my brother but Im sure he wouldnt do that to me.
If I were you, Id pack my bags and leave. You dont deserve to be treated like that and are worth far more to someone who will treat you with love and respect.
I cant imagine your parents are too pleased with your brother either.
I really hope you come through the other side intact, lifes a bastard and its easy for me to say what you should do, but I have just split up with my boyfriend of 10 years and feel the same raw confusion as you so take heart, you are not alone. I hope you find a solution to this nasty predicament. ((((big hug for you)))
2006-09-15 08:39:00 · answer #6 · answered by li5pia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you all did not plan this and it sounds like you did not, then you need to leave her, how in the world did she wind up in bed with your brother, is she bi or is she a lesbian. I think before you take anyone's advice including mine, you need to really sit back and weigh the pros's and cons, can you handle being a parent to that child, because if you two are in a relationship, you will have to interact, then ask how would you present your self to the child as mom or auntie. I pray you come out on top, and although I had nothing to do with it, I am sorry that happened to you. Best of luck to you!
2006-09-15 10:04:06 · answer #7 · answered by Hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some Lesbian relationships this is the ideal solution, the baby she is having is your flesh and blood, nearly as much as if you were the one giving it too her.
She cheated on you and that is obviously wrong, however it depends on how much you want to be with her in the long term. If you were planning on spending forever with her and have a child somehow or other eventually than why not take this child on as your own. Love will eventually overcome any bad feeling you are feeling now.
2006-09-16 03:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Lilac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign your girlfriend up for the Jerry Springer show. You are clearly a lesbian but I'd be questioning your girlfriend's obvious confusion here. I'm sorry that you've been put into this situation that you didn't ask for and I feel even sorrier for the baby that didn't ask to be put in this situation. I hope that it all works out for you.
2006-09-15 09:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, once you reported you enjoyed her do you recommend love as in a pal or as in a courting...i don't blame you for being mad that the the two one in all them concealed this from you....i will understand which you're feeling such as you have been betrayed and lied to...what you should do is take a seat with the two one in all them and communicate issues by way of...in case you sense which you won't be in a position to be around the two one in all them via fact it makes you uncomfortable then circulate some place the place you could stay away from them and be on my own...so a strategies as having to boost your brother's infant, you mustn't take it out on the child...he/she did not have any section in this and it isn't the child's fault...as an aunt you should love the child unconditionally no rely how plenty it hurts you that it is your ex-gf and brother's infant....merely be mature so a strategies as that section and that i'm rather particular they sense merely as undesirable as you do...merely provide them of challenge to describe their fringe of the story...yet like I reported you do not ought to stick around while you're actually not mushy....
2016-10-15 01:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl there is no way in hell i would take her back!You say u hate your brother and love her-well it takes 2 to make a baby!
2006-09-15 13:47:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋