My fiancee & I broke up 5 months ago, I still have the ring. The reason we broke up is because he was taping my phone conversations, trying to put spyware on my computer & he took hair out of the bath tub he said had a substance on it & sent it to a lab to be tested. He is suing me for the ring & I don't feel I have to give it back since we wouldn't have broken up if all of this didn't happen. Please help me with my problem I would really appreciate any input I can get.
Thank you.
2006-09-15 08:28:22 · 74 answers · asked by Puzzled 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think an engagement ring is like a promissory note to contract into marriage... the marriage never happened so that voids the contract. You should return the ring.
But if you feel that you deserve to keep the ring; a reminder from the guy who put you through all that crap; then by all means, go through the hassle.
2006-09-15 09:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Granted you didn't like his tactics, and his tactics showed control which you didn't want (and I fully understand, I wouldn't want that either), however etiquette says if there is to be no marriage, no kids from any marriage planned on, then you MUST give back the ring. In addition, I have to tell you that I've seen on Judge Judy a couple of times already where the girl, by Judge Judy's decree, had to return the ring in court. Since you would lose, why not just give it back (in front of a witness of yours for proof) to the man so you won't have to go to court over it, take time off and embarass yourself.
Why on earth would you want to keep an engagement ring from a controlling person from whom you carry bad feelings?.
2006-09-15 08:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most states, the law specifies that an engagement ring is given as a promise of marriage. A judge will ask who ended the relationship. If you ended it, you will have to give the ring back. You could collect all the evidence of his wrong-doings to try to win the case, but most will come down to what the law allows.
But besides that, why on earth would you want to keep a ring given to you by someone who has done all that? Give it back - there is no material object on earth worth holding on to that would remind you of this.
2006-09-15 08:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by Tamara A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Have the ring sent to him and have the paper signed that he received it. He's dangerous, so stop playing like a kid. Give him the ring back.
2. End of story. Do not take his calls. I would move if it's not too inconvenient and start fresh. One only knows what he may still have planted in your place.
3. Save for a new computer. Wipe that one and get rid of it.
This man is scary. You need to be clear about that. His behavior is not normal.
Good luck and warm wishes.
2006-09-18 09:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU broke off the engagement....even though you had reason. An engagement ring is given to you as a promise that you will marry the person you received the ring from...you didnt marry him so you must give the ring back. YOU will lose if this goes to court.
2006-09-15 08:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give that possessive person back the ring and tell him to never bother you again. It is only a material item but you are lucky to get away from that person as soon as possible. Break all ties and you will be happier because if you don't, he will imagine that he has a reason to bother you. Don't give that possessive person ANY reason to bother with you again. You are just lucky that that is all that he wants. Better hunting next time and try to stay away from those type of men. Bonne chance (good luck).
2006-09-15 08:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by BrowBrat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He gave you the ring as a promise of marriage, not for you to wear as casual jewelry. If you're not going to get married, you have a moral obligation to give it back. That's why you also can't just sell it to a jewelry store and keep the money.
Besides, why would you want to keep it? You're not going to wear an engagement ring around if you're looking to get back into the dating pool. And if you're just going to keep it in a box as some sort of "keepsake", you're as whacked as he is. Besides that, think of how it would feel to your next guy to stumble across your old engagement ring.
And do you really want to give this guy one more reason not to just go away? He sounds psychotic enough already. Don't get greedy and make things worse.
2006-09-15 08:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lawn Jockey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give it back. It doesn't really matter why you broke up or who did what, the point is that you aren't getting married and that ring he gave you should be returned to him. Besides, why would you want to go through being sued for a stupid piece of jewelry from a disturbed man?
2006-09-17 08:30:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this ends up going to court you will have to give the ring back anyway. Why would you want something to remind you of the crazy guy anyhow - just be thankful you did not waste all that time and money on the wedding.
2006-09-15 08:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by just my opinion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ring was a gift to you! Regardless of how or why the relationship ended! Most people give their rings back because they don't want the memory of what wasn't or will never be! Keep the ring girl it is yours!
2006-09-15 08:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋