my husband plays a game called world of warcraft...during the game you can chat to people in your guild or group....after months of playing he now has a female who tells him she loves him and vice versa....when he talks to her i am not allowed to be near...but yet he claims he is not saying anything inappropriate any longer since i caught him....how do you deal with this ...it is killing me emotionally....we have 4 children between us....has anyone else ever had to deal with this?
2006-09-15 07:59:56 · 26 answers · asked by sherry j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband has fallen way off the "trust and respect" wagon, the two most important components to a marriage. Maybe he was never quite on board. He is supposed to be your partner, your emotional and physical lover, your companion and your best friend. If he is capable of this he is not worthy of your trust. To win his respect you need to take a stand right now. A serious stand. Do not say anything you do not mean or do not intend to carry through. If it were me I would tell him to leave the house and to return when he is willing to change his priorities and to place the marriage and his children in the correct perspective.
2006-09-15 08:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he's a liar and a cheater.
If he supposedly stopped saying I love you and everything else he was saying then why aren't you allowed to see their conversations.
I understand that everyone deserves privacy but since it is a woman-friend and he's previously said some inappropriate things to her behind your back, then you should be able to constantly see what's going on.
Your marriage and children are obviously not a number one priority to your husband. If you all were his priority, this game wouldn't mean so much to him, and he would be showing his kids and you the love rather then some internet women.
I suggest marriage counseling! He needs some serious help and you'll need to encourage him to do so. If he refuses, your best bet is to leave with your children or have him leave, because as far as I am concerned what he's doing isn't right and will only lead to more heartbreak on your part.
2006-09-15 15:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am dealing with this type of situation at the moment and judging by the response I have had there are many out there who agree that this is cheating. My decision is to leave him after 27 years and fortunately for me my children are now adults. I also have the "I love you" exchange to deal with. But this is not with only one women it is with at least two. The fact that both you and I are not allowed to be near when these exchanges are going on only confirms that there is definitely something going on. I wish you good luck in what ever it is you decide to do.
2006-09-15 22:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by Born a Fox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man. He needs to look at his priorities. I know plenty of guys who like video or online games and it is a fine hobby, but he needs to put his family first at all times. Especially his kids.
I would absolutely talk to him by what he means by "Love" If he can truely justify that it is just part of the fantasy game, then you might be ok. I think you are well within your rights to tell him not to speak with this player anymore. There are plenty of other people in his guild. If he says no, well you have to decide if this is a deal breaker. Figure out some rules, like he is never allowed to meet her in person ever and no cybersex. Think about what your options would be without him. Where would you live, how would you get by financially, what help would you need with the kids. Honestly, you might be better of without him because you have to think about your kids and what sort of example you are setting for them. You don't want them to grow up thinking a normal marriage invovles cheating.
2006-09-15 15:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, very simply. Start playing the game yourself and talk to other men. Tell him off while you're talking to others on there. If he says anything tell him it's a personal matter of yours and that you are not doing anything immoral. You have to sacrifice in life for your dear ones. And in your case, you have kids. Teach him a lesson in a way that your marriage is not effected or emdangered. Wish you all the best!
2006-09-15 16:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by Harry thePotter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's old enough to procreate 4 times with you, he's old enough to "just say no" to internet affairs. Whether it's a physical infidelity or emotional infidelity, it's taking its toll on your marriage. Your children would mich rather be "from" a broken home than "in" a broken home. Ask him to go to counseling with you to confront the issue with someone who can moderate. This is an addiction for him, and like any other addiction, there must be treatment. It may be next to impossible for him to stop without it.
2006-09-15 15:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by Tamara A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, it IS cheating.. If i were you i would make it very clear to him that you will NOT leave the room when he is on the computer and if he has nothing to hide it should not be a big deal. If it continues, he needs to get rid of the computer for a while until you can reconnect with him without the other girl interfering. If he refuses to give her up, he has made his choice, sorry to say you need to move on unless you can live with him cheating on you..
2006-09-15 15:07:51 · answer #7 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to show for a reason, this marriage is going to fall especially since the communication isn't there. Why are you supposed to put up with him, when he's not even honest with you. He's trying to hide something from you, him not letting you see what he's writting says it all. Talk to him and if he continues talking to this girl there are going to be many problems with your marriage. How would it be if the roles were reversed? I bet he wouldn't like it. Stand up for yourself, don't let him get away with doing that to you.
2006-09-15 15:07:06 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is addicted to the game and to chatting with this woman. You need to seriously talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. If he won't give it up, there's something seriously wrong and you might have no choice but to leave him. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-15 15:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's one step away from meeting the player and making the emotional affair into a physical one. Get rid of the internet asap. You aren't wrong to feel the way that you do. Take drastic measures. If he doesn't cooperate then that will just be indicative of his addiction. Stand firm and get rid of it.
2006-09-15 15:43:53 · answer #10 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋