i have been happily married for three years and have never cheated on my wife but i am allways being flirted with and given plenty of opportunities with gorgeous females, i have never done anything but the urges are so strong that sometimes the thought crosses my mind, how do i keep from thinking like that? i want to be a good and faithful husband and father.
2006-09-15 07:49:32 · 34 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dude, you're not alone. for me, i always revert to what my wife means to me and i won't lower myself or demean my love for my wife. since your love is true and pure. it's important for you, not your wife that you remain that way. it's the matter of virtue of what you define as love.
2006-09-15 07:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is found completely in the first 15 words of your message. ANYTHING after that needs to be totally forgotten and erased from your mind,memory and life.
Remember why you married this woman and start talking to her if you feel things are missing from the excitement and variety of your marriage. You might find that she feels the same way and that the two of you need to start trying some new things to bring back some of that original excitement that brought you together in the first place.
Maybe she can meet you somewhere after work and the two of you "accidentally" run into each other as strangers and start flirting and one of you invites the other to their home for a little "afternoon delight". Keep the fantasy of being strangers just meeting going throughout the whole thing and then when it is over, one of you leaves the house, drives around the block orso, comes back and you restart as "husband and wife" again.
Use your imagination!! Do the things with your wife that you fantisize doing with these other women. She may just like it!!!
Good Luck!!!!
2006-09-15 10:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least you are being honest and I give you major points for that.
If you really want to keep it together you MUST stay away from the place these women are hitting on you. If this is happening randomely at store, restaurants etc. then realize that it is your wife you chose to be with for life.
Show them the ring on your finger and say you are married. If they presist then let them know that you are offended of the lack of respect towards your wife and children and their honor from their persistant flirting. This is what a married man SHOULD say; happily married or not.
Remember you are not just cheating on your wife, but also your children. Think of how devistated they would be if you cheated and your wife divorced you. They need their daddy.
Again good on you for being honest, now do the right thing.
I wish you and your family well
2006-09-15 08:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Justin, I admire your desire to be a good and faithful husband and father!
Do you keep a picture of you and your family in your wallet?
I would recommend doing so... and then when the urge hits you, train yourself to pull out your wallet and show the lady hitting on you your family.
This way, it decreases her drive for you, and even more importantly it reminds you of what is important to you!
IF you did cheat on your wife, you might as well just rip up that photo because your wife and kids will want to have nothing to do with you. How could you face them, knowing what you did?
The urges you are experiencing are perfectly normal, so don't beat yourself up... but take a step like I just outlined for you to ensure you never fall into the trap of an adulteress.
Like other people have suggested... a healthy sex life will decrease your urge to be with other women. Try new positions with your wife and express your love for her in different physical ways. See what pleasures her and do it, this way you will never want to have sex with another woman.
If you want to go further in depth, just send me an email.
2006-09-15 07:54:56 · answer #4 · answered by kenny_the_bomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you cheat, you cannot take it back, I advise you to think long and hard about it before you do. I also feel that people have needs that need to be met, but never cheat on someone. That is the worst thing someone can do. If temptation is around you, deflect it. You are in a marriage that had to be built off of trust and true love at one point of time. Sometimes it's not what you do but how you do it. Cheating is never a solution, it's a is a huge violation of trust. Just ask someone that's cheated, what they gained or lost from their choice.
2006-09-15 08:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Flirting is not bad. As long as you don't go through with it. Always remember what's waiting for you when you get home. A wife that loves you and children that adore you. You don't want to mess that up. I loved it when I got attention from guys when I was single and that didn't change, however if you do anything with any of that, think of the gutted feeling your wife would have. Being sexually attracted to someone else doesn't make you a cheater, sleeping with them does.
2006-09-15 08:01:43 · answer #6 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you have the temptation to cheat, go home to your wife. You know the saying about the grass is always greener on the other side. You can kill the grass on both sides of the fence. Is an hour or so of pleasure worth the risk of losing your wife and family? Think with the big head, not the little.
2006-09-15 07:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These women aren't just flirting to be flirting. Apparantly you are flirting back or maybe even starting the flirting. These women wouldn't be doing this if they didn't feel they could. You need to stop your flirting with them and if they make advances to you then you need to tell them you don't want that sort of attention from them. Now don't get me wrong, I don't feel like there is anything wrong with innocent flirting, but if it is causing problems in your marriage then you have crossed the lines of innocent. Cut the nonsense out. It is giving you urges to do the wrong thing. Good luck.
2006-09-15 08:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use it to fuel your own self-esteem and put the fire back in your marriage. I would never act on those urges, being able to control your urges is what seperates the human race from the animals we are superior of, to act on your wants is also a sign of selfishness and lack of respect for your spouse. If after time you are not able to control yourself than be a man and leave your wife first I am sure you would expect the same courtesy if the role was reversed
2006-09-15 07:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Best answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thoughts crosses everyone minds but you just have to not let those thoughts become real. Try new things with your wife keep the flame going. Don't give up and continue to be faithful to her. Maybe take a trip with her without the kids to just remember how it was to be alone with your wife.
Good Luck
2006-09-15 07:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by trice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Temptations are always around EVERYONE of us on a daily basis - THAT'S LIFE! To cure your urges, simply think about these the next time when one of those "gorgeous" females hit on you:
Would she give a damn about you when you're down?
Would she care less about your problems?
Would she STICK AROUND with you even when times are rough??
Would she be willing to grow old with you?
Would she make you happy (not just sexually!) like your wife has done now for the past three years?
and lastly...
Would this GORGEOUS female still look so "gorgeous" in the morning without all her MAKEUP???
IF you mess up - I honestly believe it won't be your wife's loss. Take care and BE GOOD ;)
2006-09-15 08:19:55 · answer #11 · answered by ♫ Jemmy~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋