Everytime we go into the bedroom she has to dim the lights or turn them off. I'm a very visual person like most guys and really like to see what I'm doing. It drives me crazy not being able to see what's going on down there. Suggestions? I think that maybe she is not fully comfortable with her body.
2006-09-15 07:31:47 · 25 answers · asked by Rivrav 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sex, just like love, should be a two-way escapade. It's a give and take affair and your wife should be made to realize that.
She may have inhibitions in showing her body to you or may be conscious in having sex on broad light because of the facial expressions that go with the satisfaction derived from doing it.
Have a heart-to-heart talk with her about what you want in sex. Assure her that you will not be turned off by whatever you see in her during the act because, on the contrary, tell her that you will be more aroused when you look at her while doing it.
Ask her what makes her opt to do it in dim light or total darkness. And whatever reason she gives, persuade her by making her realize that when she gives in her body and soul to that sensual scene, that when she forgets every thing at that moment and instead tries to feel every sensation that goes with the act, she will be completely satisfied and may even ask for more.
At first, she may be reluctant to do it but time and again, you should request her to do it with the light on and tell her that it will give you double or triple sex satisfaction when she agrees to what you want. I'm sure that with your prodding, she will eventually give in and do it the way you want it to be done. And that will be the beginning of more gratifying sexual experiences between the two of you.
However, at times, you may still do it in dim light or total darkness if on the other hand that gives her more satisfaction. This way, the give and take rule still prevails to both your advantage. Good luck.
2006-09-15 07:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im kinda like that! Im only 5 ft 3 and 103 lbs but I still am insecure about being stark naked! lol I think my hubby has seen me naked about 10 times if he's lucky! lol My suggestion since u want a little light and it makes her skittish is light candles around the room! Thats how he broke me out of my shell! Light about 7 or 8 candles around the room and this gives u alot of light! Be sure to tell her that she is the most beautiful woman u have ever seen- that she is hot and sexy-that u love the way her body feels- she needs reassurance from you-to feel special and loved! You can do it! Good luck to u
2006-09-15 07:36:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are under the assumption that sex has to be done in the dark and that is definitely not the case. I am guessing that she isn't 100% comfortable in her skin or she doesnt want to look at you while having sex. Why not try and light candles around the room or do it in the day time that way its not too light in the room but you will be able to see whats going on "down there" !
2006-09-15 07:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by babymomma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a night light then up grade slowly...like one more night light then a lamp with low watts then change the bulb. Try buying her some reveiling lingerie for her to wear and ask her to dance for u with little light then like i said start putting more light slowly.. if all else fails try some liquor to ease the moment. Some wine makes every one feel sexy as the experts say. Give her complents on how she looks and try in a lite room of a different part of the house to seduce her and make her feel like the way you see her perfect. this might give her some confidence to just turn on the light.. GOOD LUCK! Tip try blind folding her and then turn on the lights...
2006-09-15 07:59:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try complimenting her body parts and showing that you admire them when the lights are on and when sex is not involved. Like when she is cooking dinner, touch the back of her neck, kiss it, and tell her how beautiful her naked neck is. Or when she comes out of the shower, embrace her and pull her towel down a little and say, I love looking at your breasts. Or just whenever tel her how much you love looking at her. Then gradually, she should feel more comfortable about you looking at her when she is actually in bed.
2006-09-15 07:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I was like your wife for a long time...till I married my husband. What he's tried was candles...just used one at a time....then slowly two, then three and so on...get her used to the light slowly. Then when she comfortable and know that you love her body the way it is...then turn on the light one night. Remember take it slow...can't rush into it.
2006-09-15 07:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by ladyrose31474 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years now and I feel totally comfortable being naked around him now. What you have to do is compliment her a lot, tell her you love to see her boobs, butt, legs just everything and don't just tell her that you do but when you do see her naked make her see that it really does turn you on a whole lot and you'll see how soon she'll want to be naked around you. You know us women enjoy to see our men turned on.
2006-09-15 07:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by JEJEMMY♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to the point. When she goes to dim or turn them off, just say "honey, leave them on, I need to see what I'm doing." That's really the only way to get it across to her. If she protests just tell her her body turns you on and not to be self-conscious. Don't be afraid to talk to her, this is your wife - hopefully for life.
2006-09-15 07:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by pamela f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was the same way for the 1st yr or so we were married then my hubbysaid this"i just want to see the glow on your face i likeseeing you enjoy whatwe r doing babbe plese just once if lyour not ok then we can turn them off that was over27yrs ago some thimes it has to do with theway we were raised i was raise that was something yuo just did turn off the lightsbut know i know that any thing goes if wewant it too good luck
2006-09-15 07:40:48 · answer #9 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple don't ask anymore if she is not comfortable then don't pressure her in to it. Just casually use candles and lots of them they are sensual but also a primative source of light work your way up to the quantity of light she is comfortable with and it will work for both of you
2006-09-15 08:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Best answer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋