I feel like s**t, the only thing keeping me off the train lines are my beautiful children. How long will this awful, pining, feeling last? We were together 10 years from the age of 18 and have 3 great kids together. The bottom has fallen out of my world and I need to know how to keep it together. I suffer with Panic Disorder after Postnatal depression went undiagnosed and im so anxious and dreading it getting dark, thats always the worst time.
Advice sought desperately.
2006-09-15 07:05:22 · 22 answers · asked by li5pia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but you've got to get a grip on yourself.
Your broken heart is making you feel like everything is slipping completely out of your control. So what you need to do is bring it back under control, one little bit at a time.
Maybe try this. First, take a big breath and stop panicking. Recognise your panic attacks as symptoms of your break-up, but that's all they are, and their significance will shrink. Acknowledge that -- for the time being at least -- your partner is not going to be with you now. I know it's not good news and you would probably do anything to mend it, but if you don't have that option right now then you will have to forge on nevertheless. It will take time before that lurching heartbreak nausea leaves you alone, but it will. And you will see things a bit more realistically and you will have 'turned the corner'. You're in a very unhappy situation, but you will survive this intact! You are bigger than it is.
Set about improving your life without him. What can you do with the kids? What needs doing round the house? What are some new ways to spend your time? Make some changes for yourself. Get busy. Get out there. Pretty soon you'll have your feet firmly planted on the ground. And you'll be coping! And -- like or lump -- your heart *will* heal.
Good luck!
2006-09-16 06:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a broken heart is a heart of beauty. Ones it is healed it can radiate more love than ever before.
The pining feeling will go , when you start to love yourself and forgive no matter what had happend. You are a beautiful person in this planet and only you can do the things you do . Start to have a good relationship with yourself.. enjoy your company and ones that is done.. make a wish for a new companion and believe and trust that this will happend. Your life will change.. certainly.
I have been there too.. many years ago.. I know how it feels..
2006-09-15 07:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by awendragoness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't suffer those disorders but I have had a broken heart. It is not easy. For the sake of yourself and your children though, you must.
Start by sitting down, relaxing and digging deep inside. Rediscover yourself by visualizing your life and where you would like to go from this point. Be specific and devise a new set of goals for yourself. Concentrate real hard and write them down. Start with short term goals as well as long term. This will be a base for your future existence. This may sound trite but you must start somewhere. On a daily basis began to think of something good when your mind would drift toward him or your predicament. Assure yourself that you are tough and make it your business to not go around moping and feeling sorry for yourself. Lastly start loving yourself all over again and carry your head high. Firmly believe that life goes on. Be strong and and slowly you will overcome.
You can do it...you must.
2006-09-15 07:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm feeling everything you are ATM...altho my relationship wasn't as long as yours...i to keep going for my child...the thing is nobody can tell you how long it will take to heal its different for different ppl...I've been grieving for the death of my lads love since the start of July and now i don't cry myself to sleep no more so things start to get easier but i do miss him and pine like crazy...but your still feeling you`ve lost everything and don't see how your going to be happy again rite?but u will your kids should be a reason to make you smile and this split will affect them to just surround yourself with friends and spend quality time with the kids,take them out..concentrate on the good things in your life and not the bad,,,a broken heart can mend.....but the time it takes depends on you,,,either u let the misery engulf you and let your kids see a unhappy miserable mum or you show them its not going to b so bad not having dad around as much and u will cope...you don't stop hurting but you learn how to deal with the hurt xx
2006-09-15 14:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by seeclearlynow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is so precious and to discard it in anyway is a sign of not wanting to come to grips with reality.
You are depressed today and you are lucky you can seek medication of which the outcome can lead to a better life.Life is a journey and only those who are prepared to face its highs and lows can rest assured of better things to come.Everyone of us walking in the streets has a stressful story in their lives but we picked up the pieces and moulded them into a worthy life.Imagine you were mourning about wanting shoes and out you step into the street and come across a man who had no legs but disregarding his state you notice he is quite enthusiastic about life.We should not mourn for too long about what fate hands us instead we should find a solution to how we can interweave the reality with the future.
You have 3 great kids, imagine their loss if you just give up on life; they will be devastated and in so doing you will never know the impact your actions will have on them. Show them how to cope with adversity, seek counselling, talk with your children enthusiastically and do not brood much.
Remember love, whatever we wish in life may not happen because in reality things don't happen as they should.When fate hands us a lemon lets try to turn it into a lemonade.I don't know you, but I can feel your grief and for the sake of your beautiful children arise and give yourself a new lease of life.
2006-09-15 08:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by marizani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there for your kids. Is there anyway you can get out with some friends or maybe have some alone time with yourself? Find things that you enjoy with your kids if you can't go out. When it's bed time make time for yourself. Treat yourself with a nice hot bath. When they are in bed do things that you enjoy doing. It helps with the process of finding peace within yourself. This heartache won't last forever just remember that. There is better days to come. I hope this helped. Good luck and God bless you and your children.
2006-09-15 07:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey it takes time , took me about a year all in all before i even started to feel better , but we didn't have kids but we were together from 16 - 26. It's been a year and i still do pine a wee bit when i see him with his new woman but i promise it does get better x x x
2006-09-15 07:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as for me when i had to get over a broken heart was about 1year and 1/2 because after that i was better.now that's what some one told me .if y'all been together 10years it might take you some time because 10 years is a long time,but Hun you have kids that you have to look after and your kids in more importation then a man,your kids give you life,a man can come then they go,but your kids will never, and i say never leaves you.
2006-09-15 07:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say that time is a great healer and you will get over this.
It will take time but every day it will get a bit easier.
If necessary, talk to someone about your feelings, like a good friend or family member.
If you cant do this, try talking to a trained councillor, who will listen sympathetically to how you feel.
Lastly, it might be worth talking to your G.P who might be able to refer you to someone who can help you at this awful time.
Hope this is helpful to you and i wish you good luck.
2006-09-15 12:18:54 · answer #9 · answered by liz v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will feel like that only time will heal you,and if you are determining to get over what's loss you will.You have three kids to live for think of them,socializing with other people will help you to get over him.He loves seeing you lost and depress over him,so it's up to you to get up and show him what he lost and will be missing.And if he tries coming back don't take him back.You and him will always be connected because of your kids.
GOOD LUCK & BE STRONG
2006-09-15 07:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋