Here goes. My mama passed away Febuary the 10, 2006. My family had to make the decision to remove her life support. My mama was 59, she was our rock, our hearts and our life. My daddy and mama was married for 40 years, my daddy seems to think that life for him is over, he has turned to alcohal on a daliy basis. He has really got hard my my sisters and me because we wont buy anything for him to drink, so he thinks we are trying to boss him. Its not that we are bossing him, we just cant lose him. 2 days before my mama died, she was feeling GREAT, in the hospital, but still feeling good, she was saying she was going to be leaving us, and ask my sisters and I to make sure we take care of our daddy, and thats just what Im going to do, even if he does curse me for not buying him alcohal, he will never get it from me. How can we get through to him, AA isnt an option, what can we do to save him........please, dont answer if you have No heart, dont be a smart***.....ty
2006-09-15 07:01:12 · 10 answers · asked by bitchy_woman_yet_sweet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all I'm sorry for your loss. I believe you are fulfilling the promise to your mother by "trying" to take care of your Dad. You have to remember though that people grieve in different ways and although alcohol is not the answer, at this point in time your Dad thinks it is.Don't enable him, but at the same time remember not to denigrate him for feeling lost and alone and trying to ease the pain with a drink. Bottom line, it is really up to your Dad to decide how he wants to live his life and there is nothing you or your sisters can do.Help is not an option as long as he feels he doesn't need it.If all goes well, he will snap out of this, if not, I feel your Mom will understand you did all you could, after all she knew him better than anyone and probably sensed that you were going to have problems with him.I feel sure she would not want you to subject yourself to verbal abuse from him either, so if it gets too bad, just walk away and let him find himself.
2006-09-15 07:18:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents had been together so long your dad is dying slowly from a broken heart. He doesnt know how to function without her in his life. He is hurting deeply and doesnt know where to turn! Make sure family and people who love him stay close to him and around him. Hug him every chance u get and tell him u love him and miss her too. Make a small area in the home just for your mom. Pictures of her and a small candle so that he has somewhere to go and to remember her. This is a hard time for all of you- stick together and all will be okay eventually! My heart goes out to you- Im soooo sorry for your loss
2006-09-15 14:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The grieving process is different for everyone. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. So you don't lose your father, try to replace his alcohol with time spent with you and your family. I guess it is like redirecting his interest just like you would do a child who is throwing a fit because he can't have his way. Please, I in no way trying to be insensitive. That is the only way I know how to explain it. Maybe if you keep him busy with family and people who love him, he will see there is so much more to do in his life than estrange the people he loves and maybe he will see that HE needs to be your rock now.
Prayers are with you!
2006-09-15 14:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your daddy needs in counceling. He is very depressed.
Have him go to the Dr. and tell him how he is feeling. I will bet he will perscribe somethning to help him get over this very difficult part of his grief. Then he needs to start talking to someone about how he feels. I would suggest a counceler. Ask the Dr. to recommend someone.
2006-09-15 14:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you leave us no options but to sympathize with you. We have hearts but have no options to offer except that YOU need to get yourself to Al Anon meetings where they can help you deal with the situation.
Here's the deal. Your dad is a drunk. Much as you or he don't want to face facts, that's a big fat fact. Keep your head in the sand if you wish but don't expect help. Drunks get help at AA or here's a site that might also help:http://rational.org/index.html
2006-09-15 14:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is going to take awhile to get over losing someone you have been with for forty years. i agree with you that alcohol is not the answer. i guess your just going to have to be a loving daughter and hopefully he will find something to do to take his mind off of his loss. good luck and be patient, its going to take some time. would counseling help him
2006-09-15 14:08:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A whole lot of prayer and really this is something he needs to overcome, Counseling would be great if you could get him there!!
2006-09-15 14:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try taking him out to places,and do things with him,if he starts with how miserably he is ,just sit there and tell him all the bright sides of living,and that your mom wouldnt like to see him this way.
2006-09-15 14:06:26 · answer #8 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no wonder u r bitchy by nickname.
this is a case for the family doc, lawyer, priest, all members jointly, and elders wellwishers of your family.
take this seriously, things will go terribly dangerous soon.
2006-09-15 14:14:24 · answer #9 · answered by kamesvari i 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
take him to a therpist or group
2006-09-15 14:13:20 · answer #10 · answered by kimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋