I think it is easy to say I forgive you but not the I forget what you did part.
2006-09-15 06:59:24 · 63 answers · asked by Maria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Forgiveness never is supposed to involve forgetting. Our human brains were designed to remember. Unfortunately we remember the good and the bad. Forgiveness and letting go...that brings healing to our souls. Someday, in time, you'll be able to remember the good and the bad of that relationship...but it takes time. So, give yourself permission to grieve.
2006-09-15 07:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Information Missing that is needed to best answer your question.
1. Are you both married to each other, or someone else?
2. Do either of you know why the cheating occurred?
3. Have you both talked truthfully about this?
4. Have you sought guidance from Professionals, or Family, etc?
Having done all this, NO, it is not easy. But, it is possible, if there is love, and more, that can hold you both together. From what I have experience over a lot of years, I believe that cheating is done by both parties in over 90% of Unions. Since the divorce rate is no way near that percentage, it appears that People can forgive, and apparently forget, to an unknown degree. It is not something that the majority talk about to others. Basically it is up to the both of you!
2006-09-15 07:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sentinel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest, I think people say they forgive and never do. See, it is not a bad thing to not forgive. We say it to them right? But do we feel it? No, I don;t think so. However, I do think that someone can love someone so much and when/if that person does them wrong it is the love they fear losing.
My father cheated on my mother and they divorced. She says she will love him till the days she dies but she just vouldn't wake up every morning with a man doing what she knew he had done.
I am sorry if this doesn't make sense to you, it is just my own personal feelings. One can say they forgive, but deep down, there is that bit of anger that is held onto but controlled because of the love tht you have.... Why cause more hurt?
2006-09-15 07:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by whatwhatwhatidontknowOK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not easy at all. My exfiance cheated on me 3 months before the wedding. I have forgiven him, moved on, but never forgot. It will always be a dispointing part of my life. I have moved on with a new man who is incredibly wonderful. At first I had trust issues but I am definately making progress. So bottom line, you can forgive if you chose but never forget.
2006-09-15 07:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless I'm struck with amnesia, I'm not ever going to forget...forgive is possible but it depends on the circumstances (and isn't real likely)...
You should not even try to forget (why would you want to?)...but if you forgive, then it's done...you cannot throw it back in their face during arguments or use it in any negative way down the road (or you haven't really forgiven)...
2006-09-15 07:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is easy to forgive, but forgetting is more difficult. But...if you love the one that you have forgiven...you must do your best to let go of that hurt. I have...and my husband and I are more in love now than ever before, it's been 4 years since our incident. I haven't forgotten, and never will, but I have forgiven completely. Forgiveness doesn't just happen, you have to decide to do it, you might even have to fake it for awhile. If you love them, it makes it easier.
2006-09-15 07:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by Legs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive but you will never forget! Even if your with some one new you will never forget. My husband cheated on me several times and not until he cheated with my sister(13) did I finally open my eyes. I forgave her for opening my eyes to what kind of jerk he really was but I will never forgive him. This happened 24 years ago and every time I see my sister it reminds me.
2006-09-15 07:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmm, see where you are going babe, but don't quite agree with you, I don't think it is easy to say I forgive you, I think that this is something we, as victims, say when we have been hurt, because ,at the time we are still in shock. Anyway, truth is, we never forget, sadly the sh** s that do it to us, don't seem to have the same problem. Good luck to you.
2006-09-16 10:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with 'legs'. My husband and i went thro the same thing...but we learnt to forgive but the forgetting will never go. It is still there in the back of your mind. but the 'experience' has made us a lot closer and our love for each other is stronger. I trust my husband 100%...enough to let him go an a long week end to Amsterdam with 2 mates and I believe he trusts me as much. U have to be strong if you want the relationship to carry on.
Good luck.
2006-09-15 07:21:32 · answer #9 · answered by Snuffy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you. its easy to say you forgive someone, but to actually DO it...to forget what happened, is very hard. I think it would be hard to trust the person again, and it would drive me nuts worrying about them all the time. If someone cheated on me, that would be it for me. I wouldnt take them back.
2006-09-15 07:01:34 · answer #10 · answered by kari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋