I'm not one to go searching for anything "on the side" by any means or one to even act on an opportunity, but when I go out with the guys I am always heavily flirted with by women. My question here is that when I'm shooting pool or just mingling around and the same girls(usually the same ones who KNOW I'm married) like to come up and grind me when a good tune comes on or talk about sex or even the size of my junk, but they never ever technically proposition me...what in the HELL are their intentions ??! It's like they love the huge build up like somethings going to actually happen, but nothing ever ever does. Why the hell do you girls do that ?!! I love the attention and it turns me on bigtime, and I mean bigtime ! And because they are friends, I can't really tell them to stop without being an a$s. Besides I like it too much, but WHY do they do that ??!!! The temptation is so huge and I've been good so far, but in your opion, are they actually looking to score or is it all in fun ?
2006-09-15 06:40:05 · 29 answers · asked by Lexington 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i agree with sgeorges1...the problem is not cut and dry "why can't i hang out w/ my friends?? just cuz they turn me on and flirt w/ me!!!" hehe that sounds completely stupid, (no offense). the problem is, you are MARRIED----> commitment to One person. you have to act trustworthy in order to Deserve her trust. therefore, it becomes a matter of finding friends who do not do that. who respect ur marriage.
the thing is, i don't agree that u should just have to stay home and not have any friends. that's not the thing. Part of it is your own accountability, choosing not to cheat, even when there are possibilities or propositions from girls who have NO respect for your wife and marriage. the other part is seeking Healthy, Positive, Good people and things to support and surround your Marriage. for example, if ur family didn't like u wife, but U loved and married her, u have to either force them to accept her, or go Away from them; they will be a negative influence on you and ur wife.
so, if that is true and u agree with that, therefore u have to understand that it is the same w/ ur friends, or Anyone who challenges your marriage: if ur Current "FRIENDS" are playing games with you (i bet u, if u tried to do something w/ some of those girls, they would turn and call u a cheater, cuz they're just playing with the fact that u CAN'T do anything cuz ur married). so THEN it becomes guilt on Your part... so regardless of outside temptations, u made that commitment to ur wife, WHETHER or NOT these other women are willing or not.
anyways, long story short, it doesn't matter what these women's intentions are...what's in question are YOUR intentions to commit to ur vows. stop spending time worrying about NEGATIVE influences in ur life... distance urself from that, make an effort to focus on the Healthy, Positive, Good things in ur marriage to help keep it strong and growing. start taking ur wife out more, bring her out clubbing with you... u know what i mean? if u focus more on ur relationship, u won't have to worry and use that time to think of these other women. =T.. it's challenging, and i know it's hard for a MAN not to act on his physical impulses. but that's what's so great about finally finding a woman u Love.. it's WORTH it to commit to her..otherwise u shouldn't have gotten married. good luck, and stay strong. make sure you are a Good Husband, and u will deserve to have a Good Wife.
2006-09-15 06:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is always nice to be flirted with, it makes you feel like you are still attractive to the opposite sex. But it sounds to me like you take it a bit furthere than just flirting. You say you are married and that these women just came up and start being inappropriate with you. Do you love your wife, because it sounds like you have issues with your marriage. I am 23 years younger than my husband and it is nice when I notice that someone is looking at me, but that is where I draw the line. I would never allow any man to touch me in any way. It's not being an *** to tell these women, hey look I am a married man and I enjoy your attention but I cannot let you think this is going anywhere. You need to have more respect for your wife. Think about this. What if the letter you just wrote was turned around and was coming from your wife getting attention from men and wondering what was up. How would that make you feel? If you are unhappy for some reason you need to be honest with these women and your wife. But don't make a mess out of your life because some single women want to see if the big bad married man will cheat. Believe me it is a contest with unmarried women to see if they have what it takes to make a man stray. If they do then they think they are all that. Don't play their game unless you are willing to pay the consequences.
2006-09-15 13:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You wouldn't be asking about this if you didn't want as many *right* answers as to how many here agree with you so that you know to *act* on it or not. I think you should be ashamed. You are not stupid and you were not born yesterday, you know exactly what these women want and you also want to give it to them and think you can justify it by holding off and asking about it and feeling the waters first. You said vows to your wife, and you vowed to be and to stay true to her. Doesn't that mean anything? And they are your friends and you don't want to and can't say anything to them without coming out and sounding like an a$s... well, I don't think you should really care what you sound like, only to your wife should you care. You love the attention? Who doesn't. But your spoken for now and you are vowed to another. Grow up or get a divorce, your wife doesn't need to worry if your going to give her a STD or AIDS for christmas one year. You really should be ashamed for allowing those girls to grinde you and bump you and temp you so. You should have stop that from the start. Blessed be.........
2006-09-15 13:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its all for fun, and you are taking a little poking fun at too literal. in the first place woman like that the fact that you are off limits. that you are attached, that has always been fun for girls. and your the one whos married so you better behave yourself because once you give in and let go of your good sense with one of those girls you will not be as attractive to any more of them like you are now, mainly because they know that they may get you. and if your wife was to find out youd be without her and the other girls wouldnt want you then either. so if your enjoying the attention you better behave it could go as fast as it came.
2006-09-15 13:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are whores. Plain and simple. I belive any woman that is willing to mess around or even flirt with a guy that she is aware is married (or even in a relationship for that matter) is disgusting. Women should be helping one another out but instead give us a bad name.
They could be looking to tease you but some of them are probably looking to score.
And, if you love your wife... you will tell them to stop; even if you sound like an asshole. Because you know what? They're the ones being assholes disrespecting your wife and your marriage.
2006-09-15 13:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, if it's that big of a temptation, why are you even putting yourself in that position? If it's as you say it is, then that goes beyond just "flirting." Flirting is like words, little compliments. Grinding on someone else is dry sex...It's arousal, it's rubbing....If you were doing that with your wife, it would be foreplay. It isn't right!!! What do you think your wife would think if you told her all these women were propositioning you and grinding on you? Would she be happy with what you said to them, and with what they said to you? I seriously doubt it. So, why is it that you care more about what your "friends" think, than what your wife thinks and feels? Are you really more concerned with possibley hurting your "friends' " feelings than hurting your marriage, and hurting your wife on a deeper level? You made a promise to honor your wife before those women. You're responsible with her physical, emotional, and mental well-being. And just think, how would you like it if some guy was all up on your wife, poking his dick in her ***? What if he was whispering to her how he wanted to stick his 10 inch cock in her and hump her til she was dry? Hmmmm???? You just admitted that these girls were propositioning you for sex. They talk about sex, they talk about your penis. What if men were all over your wife like that? I seriously don't think you'd like it, especially if you're truly honest with yourself. So, if you wouldn't want her to do that, then knock it the f@#$ off!!!
2006-09-15 13:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by verony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cheat. The temptation is HUGE. I have a similar problem sometimes (so I don't go out unless I'm with a sibling, my husband, my mother, or a friend who would tell my husband because the temptation is so huge that I'm not sure I can trust myself). It is fun to flirt and a good way to perpetuate excitement in your own relationship. It is good to feel hot about yourself so that you can "perform" at home. Stay faithful. You promised.
2006-09-15 13:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by sgeorges13 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's all in good fun. There is nothing wrong with flirtation, as long as nothing comes of it. I am a happily committed woman and I love being flirted with, it makes me feel good. My man is the same way, although pretends he's oblivious to the flirtation by other women.
2006-09-15 13:42:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok honestly its all in fun and also its all in hoping something might happen(knowing in their minds it wont) this usually happends becuause ur taken and that means ur into commitment. but beware if this same friend also knows ur wife,she might be doing this because she is envious of ur wife and is out to cause harm. but if u know ur limits and do not cross the line i think u should just tone down a bit ur flirt so as no one can misconstude ur intentions.
2006-09-15 13:51:57 · answer #9 · answered by picies83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like these women like the thrill of flirting with a married man. First of all I applaud you for not acting on these "moves", second of all, if your wife knew these women were coming on to you, she probably would feel threatened in way. To the point where she would have to "stand her ground, and protect what is hers (you).
You might want to consider changing your hangout spot, but keeping your friends. You might want or need to remind these women that the convos they strike up with you are inappropriate considering you are married and would never consider going outside of that marriage. These women sound like they have no respect for you or the woman you are married to, so you being the one they are coming on to, it is your responsibility to tell them to back off.
Again- good for you to stay faithful to your wife and family.
2006-09-15 13:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dre 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋